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I've mentioned on here before that my mother was adopted.. Wanted to share the results of my searching.
At this point, we have narrowed the possibilities down to 3 people so far as who her mother is. Well, was, as all three have passed away.
My mother was adopted in SC, where all records are sealed. She has no interest in finding them, so, that blew any chance of getting to the actual records.. So, this all had to be done with.. I'll call it old fashioned detective work, but.. It's really more new fangled detective work. None of this would have been possible without a little luck and the internet.
About 6 months ago, a match popped up on my 23andme. A quite strong match coming from my mothers side (I could tell for 2 reasons.. A match on the X chromosome and since my dad has tested, it shows which side a match comes from).. At a nearly 6% DNA match, this would put us in the half first cousin range most likely.
I searched and found this person. They did not reply on 23andme, but.. Searching their name, I came up with a handful of possibilities and narrowed it down to one. They left 2 last names they were associated with on their profile. I was able to take that and find them listed in an obit when their grandfather died.
Using that obit, I was able to track back to get her mothers name, and with that, track back to find her grandmother. The grandmother, we'll call her Suspect A, is my best guess. To me, she has the highest probability.
Suspect A had two sisters, we'll call Suspect B and Suspect C.
Suspect A was born in 1932. My mother was born in December 1948. Suspect A married her husband in September 1949.
Suspect B was born in 1921. This would have made her about 27 when my mother was born. I can't track down exactly when she married. It was after 1940.
Suspect C was born in 1914. this would have made her 34 when my mother was born. She married as well, though I have been unable to establish when.
All three suspects.. Their father was a small town preacher in the south.
The reason I think suspect A is the most likely is that she would have been 16, and with a father that was a preacher.. That would have just flown like a turd in a punchbowl. I can easily see him sending her to a 'Girls Home' to have the baby. The downside.. She married someone 10 months later. That's... A quick turnaround. Raises doubt, but it's not impossible.
Suspects B and C.. Seem a little out of the age range. Especially C. I think C is the least likely.
I have been able to establish communication with Suspect A's daughter and she has taken me up on an offer to do a DNA test at 23andme.. So, that should help triangulate things a little more. She's shared a few pictures, and.. You can see some resemblance. It's not a given, but.. There certainly looks to be a family resemblance between my mother and her mother/aunts.
Now.. 4-6 weeks of waiting for results to come back.
I've mentioned on here before that my mother was adopted.. Wanted to share the results of my searching.
At this point, we have narrowed the possibilities down to 3 people so far as who her mother is. Well, was, as all three have passed away.
My mother was adopted in SC, where all records are sealed. She has no interest in finding them, so, that blew any chance of getting to the actual records.. So, this all had to be done with.. I'll call it old fashioned detective work, but.. It's really more new fangled detective work. None of this would have been possible without a little luck and the internet.
About 6 months ago, a match popped up on my 23andme. A quite strong match coming from my mothers side (I could tell for 2 reasons.. A match on the X chromosome and since my dad has tested, it shows which side a match comes from).. At a nearly 6% DNA match, this would put us in the half first cousin range most likely.
I searched and found this person. They did not reply on 23andme, but.. Searching their name, I came up with a handful of possibilities and narrowed it down to one. They left 2 last names they were associated with on their profile. I was able to take that and find them listed in an obit when their grandfather died.
Using that obit, I was able to track back to get her mothers name, and with that, track back to find her grandmother. The grandmother, we'll call her Suspect A, is my best guess. To me, she has the highest probability.
Suspect A had two sisters, we'll call Suspect B and Suspect C.
Suspect A was born in 1932. My mother was born in December 1948. Suspect A married her husband in September 1949.
Suspect B was born in 1921. This would have made her about 27 when my mother was born. I can't track down exactly when she married. It was after 1940.
Suspect C was born in 1914. this would have made her 34 when my mother was born. She married as well, though I have been unable to establish when.
All three suspects.. Their father was a small town preacher in the south.
The reason I think suspect A is the most likely is that she would have been 16, and with a father that was a preacher.. That would have just flown like a turd in a punchbowl. I can easily see him sending her to a 'Girls Home' to have the baby. The downside.. She married someone 10 months later. That's... A quick turnaround. Raises doubt, but it's not impossible.
Suspects B and C.. Seem a little out of the age range. Especially C. I think C is the least likely.
I have been able to establish communication with Suspect A's daughter and she has taken me up on an offer to do a DNA test at 23andme.. So, that should help triangulate things a little more. She's shared a few pictures, and.. You can see some resemblance. It's not a given, but.. There certainly looks to be a family resemblance between my mother and her mother/aunts.
Now.. 4-6 weeks of waiting for results to come back.
Thanks for the update. Please keep us posted on the DNA results.
That is great that A's daughter has tested. That should help you determine as to A.
As far as B and C, I would probably put the probabilities much like you did. That said my birthmother turned 25 the month I was born so it is possible. (I am and adoptee -- found my birthmom years ago through traditional searching, found bfather through DNA).
That is great that A's daughter has tested. That should help you determine as to A.
As far as B and C, I would probably put the probabilities much like you did. That said my birthmother turned 25 the month I was born so it is possible. (I am and adoptee -- found my birthmom years ago through traditional searching, found bfather through DNA).
It's still a bit of a possibility that the direct relationship goes back one more generation than I'm looking. So, it could be the mother or an aunt of The Suspects.. But, gut feeling says no. Where I've got to be careful is allowing gut feelings to cloud logical thinking. Something that is too easy to have happen in situations like this. I do have a volunteer from DNA detectives (Facebook group) who has helped track info and has also helped with me bouncing ideas off him.
Having the daughter of Suspect A tested should narrow that possibility down. But.. The fact of having the small town preacher.. To me, that's something of a smoking gun.
The location of this family.. Most of the family is from Tabor City, NC and all spent their entire lives there or right across the border in SC.. We know my mother was adopted at a hospital in Mullins, SC, which is only about 30 miles from there.
Now.. If I could only get my mother tested. I believe that she might either hold some resentment to whoever gave her up or feel like she might be disrespecting my grandmother and grandfather by looking.. But, my Grandmother just lit up telling me the story of the day they went to get her and they never hid the fact that she was adopted.. So, I can only think it is the former.
I've asked several times and have casually mentioned that whoever her parents were, they were most likely deceased.. But she would immediately come back that they might not be.. So, I think maybe, if I can tell her of the three suspects and that they've all passed.. Maybe she'll change her mind.
Good job! It's actually pretty addicting & fun when you get that first break; I went through that last year trying to find a missing link.
I was a disaster; no paid access to anything, had to rely on evidence of early infant mortality & get around a 6th generation grandparent who intentionally denied his origin. I had "suspects" too & & had to assign probability scores on all of them. Good Lord ... But it was a rush!
It's still a bit of a possibility that the direct relationship goes back one more generation than I'm looking. So, it could be the mother or an aunt of The Suspects.. But, gut feeling says no. Where I've got to be careful is allowing gut feelings to cloud logical thinking. Something that is too easy to have happen in situations like this. I do have a volunteer from DNA detectives (Facebook group) who has helped track info and has also helped with me bouncing ideas off him.
Having the daughter of Suspect A tested should narrow that possibility down. But.. The fact of having the small town preacher.. To me, that's something of a smoking gun.
The location of this family.. Most of the family is from Tabor City, NC and all spent their entire lives there or right across the border in SC.. We know my mother was adopted at a hospital in Mullins, SC, which is only about 30 miles from there.
Now.. If I could only get my mother tested. I believe that she might either hold some resentment to whoever gave her up or feel like she might be disrespecting my grandmother and grandfather by looking.. But, my Grandmother just lit up telling me the story of the day they went to get her and they never hid the fact that she was adopted.. So, I can only think it is the former.
I've asked several times and have casually mentioned that whoever her parents were, they were most likely deceased.. But she would immediately come back that they might not be.. So, I think maybe, if I can tell her of the three suspects and that they've all passed.. Maybe she'll change her mind.
Have you uploaded your DNA to My Heritage and GEDmatch for free family matching and ethnicity and FTDNA for free family matching? IF not you should. I'm not sure if DNA Detectives have people do that. I'm a member of their FB group but haven't had time to go there. See my thread //www.city-data.com/forum/genea...l#post49250127 for directions.
Also be sure to upload to GEDmatch Genesis which is separate from GEDmatch. Right now it's beta, eventually it will be merged with GEDmatch. IT contains results from the major 3 as well as results from 24 Genetics, Atlas, Complete Genomics, DNA Land, Full Genomes, Gencove, Gene By Gene, Genes For Good, Genos, GPS Originas, HGDP (Stanford), Living DNA, NatGeo, Oxford (FTDNA), We Gene, YSEQ, and some labs that a few of my matches used; Parabon, Dante Labs, Whole Genome and other sites that are not supported with regular GEDmatch. It also says there are more accurate matching tools.
Now, for your mom. Have you shared your ethnicity results with your mom? Was she interested at all? Have you watched Long Lost Family? It's a good show to show her how birth parents may have felt when having to adopt out their kids back then. A good majority were forced by their parents. Some were adopted themselves, did not want their adoptive parents to raise the baby. So far they have not had one birth parent that did not want to meet their child. They have had one adoptee that refused to meet the birth parent. The birth parent had been adopted, she was not only looking for the daughter she had to place for adoption, she was looking for her birth mother. Thankfully her mother wanted to meet her.
There are also many blogs by first mothers where your mom can read what they went thru.
Have you checked any of the adoption registries to see if her birth family has registered?
I've mentioned on here before that my mother was adopted.. Wanted to share the results of my searching.
At this point, we have narrowed the possibilities down to 3 people so far as who her mother is. Well, was, as all three have passed away.
My mother was adopted in SC, where all records are sealed. She has no interest in finding them, so, that blew any chance of getting to the actual records.. So, this all had to be done with.. I'll call it old fashioned detective work, but.. It's really more new fangled detective work. None of this would have been possible without a little luck and the internet.
About 6 months ago, a match popped up on my 23andme. A quite strong match coming from my mothers side (I could tell for 2 reasons.. A match on the X chromosome and since my dad has tested, it shows which side a match comes from).. At a nearly 6% DNA match, this would put us in the half first cousin range most likely.
I searched and found this person. They did not reply on 23andme, but.. Searching their name, I came up with a handful of possibilities and narrowed it down to one. They left 2 last names they were associated with on their profile. I was able to take that and find them listed in an obit when their grandfather died.
Using that obit, I was able to track back to get her mothers name, and with that, track back to find her grandmother. The grandmother, we'll call her Suspect A, is my best guess. To me, she has the highest probability.
Suspect A had two sisters, we'll call Suspect B and Suspect C.
Suspect A was born in 1932. My mother was born in December 1948. Suspect A married her husband in September 1949.
Suspect B was born in 1921. This would have made her about 27 when my mother was born. I can't track down exactly when she married. It was after 1940.
Suspect C was born in 1914. this would have made her 34 when my mother was born. She married as well, though I have been unable to establish when.
All three suspects.. Their father was a small town preacher in the south.
The reason I think suspect A is the most likely is that she would have been 16, and with a father that was a preacher.. That would have just flown like a turd in a punchbowl. I can easily see him sending her to a 'Girls Home' to have the baby. The downside.. She married someone 10 months later. That's... A quick turnaround. Raises doubt, but it's not impossible.
Suspects B and C.. Seem a little out of the age range. Especially C. I think C is the least likely.
I have been able to establish communication with Suspect A's daughter and she has taken me up on an offer to do a DNA test at 23andme.. So, that should help triangulate things a little more. She's shared a few pictures, and.. You can see some resemblance. It's not a given, but.. There certainly looks to be a family resemblance between my mother and her mother/aunts.
Now.. 4-6 weeks of waiting for results to come back.
Well done OP, kudos to you and your persistence (and some fine detective work, I might add).
Have you uploaded your DNA to My Heritage and GEDmatch for free family matching and ethnicity and FTDNA for free family matching? IF not you should. I'm not sure if DNA Detectives have people do that. I'm a member of their FB group but haven't had time to go there. See my thread //www.city-data.com/forum/genea...l#post49250127 for directions.
Now, for your mom. Have you shared your ethnicity results with your mom? Was she interested at all? Have you watched Long Lost Family? It's a good show to show her how birth parents may have felt when having to adopt out their kids back then. A good majority were forced by their parents. Some were adopted themselves, did not want their adoptive parents to raise the baby. So far they have not had one birth parent that did not want to meet their child. They have had one adoptee that refused to meet the birth parent. The birth parent had been adopted, she was not only looking for the daughter she had to place for adoption, she was looking for her birth mother. Thankfully her mother wanted to meet her.
I've uploaded my results to all of the above. No matches within 4 generations. Just the one on 23andme.
I haven't shared any of the info with my mother. I've told her I was looking, and she made it clear she didn't want to be involved or know anything.. I just left it that if she ever wanted to know, I'd tell her.. Otherwise, we wouldn't talk about it.
I've uploaded my results to all of the above. No matches within 4 generations. Just the one on 23andme.
I haven't shared any of the info with my mother. I've told her I was looking, and she made it clear she didn't want to be involved or know anything.. I just left it that if she ever wanted to know, I'd tell her.. Otherwise, we wouldn't talk about it.
Hope she comes around.
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