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Old 03-16-2018, 12:20 PM
 
3,966 posts, read 3,461,766 times
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I haven't done any testing, but an aunt has. She contacted me about a person who contacted her through Ancestry as a first cousin match. We don't have all the details yet, but this person's 'known' biological parents don't match our line. My guess is that she is adopted and wasn't told or her mother hasn't been truthful about who her birth father really is. Her assumed dad died when she was a toddler. If this pans out that my family is biologically related there is a bit of scandal, but nothing life shattering.

Another aunt of mine is worried that is is some sort of scam. The email came through Ancestry. I can't read the dna results since I haven't paid for that. I am assuming it is legit. I don't really have a reason to believe otherwise. I guess I'm looking for advice. Thanks!
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Old 03-16-2018, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
9,254 posts, read 14,288,445 times
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It's not a scam, there is no way to fake sharing DNA at a legit company like Ancestry.com - but the relationship of first cousin is only an estimate. Depending how much DNA is shared, she could also be a first cousin once removed, half first cousin, aunt/niece, half aunt/niece, or even a half sibling. Tell your aunt if she clicks "view match" and then clicks on the little "i" icon next to the confidence level, it will show the amount of DNA they share. Pop that number into here and it will highlight all the possible relationships: https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcm
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Old 03-16-2018, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Ozark Mountains
634 posts, read 537,148 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
I haven't done any testing, but an aunt has. She contacted me about a person who contacted her through Ancestry as a first cousin match. We don't have all the details yet, but this person's 'known' biological parents don't match our line. My guess is that she is adopted and wasn't told or her mother hasn't been truthful about who her birth father really is. Her assumed dad died when she was a toddler. If this pans out that my family is biologically related there is a bit of scandal, but nothing life shattering.

Another aunt of mine is worried that is is some sort of scam. The email came through Ancestry. I can't read the dna results since I haven't paid for that. I am assuming it is legit. I don't really have a reason to believe otherwise. I guess I'm looking for advice. Thanks!
If there is a "match", how come is a scam?
I have been contacted by a family from New Jersey, also from Ancestry, apparently we are cousins as well, her two kids are my cousins too. We have been sharing data, family tree, etc, for two years now and we don't find our relationship. The only relation, is that her great grandparents are from Sicily, Italy. My great grandparents are from the same place.
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Old 03-16-2018, 03:03 PM
 
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I personally don't think it is a scam. My aunt was worried. I'm not sure if there is something I don't know or if she is being overly cautious.

Thanks! I'll suggest my other aunt look at the results closer. I don't have access to the test and I am not that familiar with interpreting results. I am not interested in being tested myself so I haven't really studied it.
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Old 03-16-2018, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
47,256 posts, read 45,587,531 times
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It only becomes a scam if she starts asking for money. But she still would be related to you, as the DNA proves.

If she does begin hitting up your aunt, she can just block her from contacting her.

I also had a first/second cousin contact me. She had been adopted, and her birth mother became pregnant with her after a 1-night stand in the late 40s. She never told her husband about the pregnancy and wasn't forthcoming with details about my cousin's real father.

So DNA testing and some process of elimination by me and my family members helped us figure out that it was one of my great uncles, who died in the late 60s. None of his family is interested in doing any DNA testing to prove the relation, but my new cousin is happy enough to know who her biological parents were. This new cousin has never asked me for anything except information, which has been a relief.
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Old 03-16-2018, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
9,254 posts, read 14,288,445 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
It only becomes a scam if she starts asking for money. But she still would be related to you, as the DNA proves.
It's still not a scam, just a newly found biological relative looking for money. A scam, by definition, involves fraud, like pretending to be someone you're not or pretending to be related when you're not.
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Old 03-16-2018, 05:04 PM
 
3,966 posts, read 3,461,766 times
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I think my aunt is afraid of someone faking it, drama, or something. She didn't clarify. Her suggestion was to not even respond to it.

My opinion is that if this a proven DNA relationship, particularly as close as a first cousin where specific parentage came into account, I would want answers particularly if I were the person who just found out that I don't know who my biological parents are.
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Old 03-16-2018, 05:12 PM
 
Location: The High Desert
8,129 posts, read 4,434,348 times
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You might be contacted dozens of times but only recognize a paper relationship on a few matches. I think I have only three or four contacts over the last couple years where I recognize the relationship. The problem is often due to poor or no family tree documentation. Nobody has ever asked for money. I’ve had a few DNA cousin contacts ask about family health issues that were a bit too much information but I think these were authentic requests — not a scam.
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Old 03-16-2018, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
9,254 posts, read 14,288,445 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahsez View Post
I think my aunt is afraid of someone faking it, drama, or something. She didn't clarify. Her suggestion was to not even respond to it.
Definitely can't fake it - maybe she knows something about it already but doesn't want to admit it?
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Old 03-17-2018, 12:31 AM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
25,137 posts, read 30,041,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunGrins View Post
You might be contacted dozens of times but only recognize a paper relationship on a few matches. I think I have only three or four contacts over the last couple years where I recognize the relationship. The problem is often due to poor or no family tree documentation. Nobody has ever asked for money. I’ve had a few DNA cousin contacts ask about family health issues that were a bit too much information but I think these were authentic requests — not a scam.
I spent a weekend recently looking at my matches at FTDNA. If the match had a tree I could often find the match, though it was frequently more generations back than FTDNA predicted. Sometimes, if the tree was limited, I was able to pull out a name and search for it in trees at Ancestry.com and find more info that way.

I found one match where we had common ancestors in three of her four grandparents' lines. They were completely different, too, no pedigree collapse involved.
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