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For me, it's not the distance but rather our relationship which determines whether I consider them family. The family members that I know and have contact with, or have had contact in the past, I consider family. Those that I know of (such as my Dad's cousins which he was close to but that I never met), I don't consider them "family" although we are DNA related).
I have several 1st cousins on my tree that I never heard of, and one that I have but never met. I don't consider them family, but rather DNA related.
For me, it's not the distance but rather our relationship which determines whether I consider them family. The family members that I know and have contact with, or have had contact in the past, I consider family. Those that I know of (such as my Dad's cousins which he was close to but that I never met), I don't consider them "family" although we are DNA related).
I have several 1st cousins on my tree that I never heard of, and one that I have but never met. I don't consider them family, but rather DNA related.
Same here.
I was about five years between my next oldest and next youngest cousin on my dad's side of the family. I wasn't particularly close to that side of the family growing up anyway. My mom only has one sibling, who has no biological children, so no cousins there.
I'm friends on Facebook with most of my first cousins and the older first cousins once removed. I really only see one cousin with any degree of regularity - we have similar tastes in music and have some of the same friends, but we're not close by any means. We've only gotten to know each other as adults the last few years.
I've met some of my second cousins and know who they are. Beyond that, I have no clue on the rest of my family. I have a last name that is very unusual in most areas, but is fairly common around Richmond, VA, where they presumably "got off the boat." I have at least one great-uncle and I think a great-aunt on my dad's side who are currently living in Richmond or recently died.
My mom's mom was one of between ten and twelve who have deep ties to the area. I'm sure I have tons of distant cousins on that side of the family I don't know anything about. My great-grandmother left the area after the great-grandfather died (early 1950s). Most of the older siblings were married or nearly grown, but one of the younger ones was adopted and became a prominent state politician and was quite wealthy. One guy was in the Air Force in Vietnam and married a woman he met in California and stayed there. The rest mostly stayed local, but I don't know much about their kids or grandkids.
There are no hard and fast rules in my family. We have nearby friends that we treat as family and invite to holidays, and (geographically) distant aunts and uncles with whom we feel less close.
We also have instances in which there is a cousin once removed (in relation to my mother), or a cousin twice removed (in relation to me) but we all called her "aunt Marie" for simplicity.
My family, it seems, operates as a meritocracy, with the strength of the relationship based upon how well people get along. This is in stark contrast to some families' tense holidays forcing relatives to be around people whom they are uncomfortable or dislike. "But he/she's your <insert relationship here>!" that was NEVER said.
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly NoVA and Phila
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If they are related, then I consider them cousins, no matter how distant. Funny, small world story - we moved to North Carolina where I have no family (whole family is from New York). I notice on Facebook that my dad's paternal first cousin is friends with someone from my kids' school. Turns out that this family at the school is maternal first cousins to my dad's paternal first cousin. So we're not directly related to them, but every time the kids see my kids at school, they say, "hi cousin." It's so cute. They are not from here either (they're from the midwest), so it's so weird that we have a "cousin" connection.
For example, do you still consider 4th cousins as family? 6th cousins? How about 10th cousins?
I know they are still "technically" related, but sometimes I feel like calling a 10th cousin a family member is stretching it. On the other hand, a 4th cousin is obviously more closely related since it means our Great-Grandparents are 1st cousins, so I still consider them part of my family.
Where do you draw the line as far as considering somebody as family or a cousin?
If you kiss her in front of your parents, and they go ballistic or drop their drinks on the floor, you will know you've crossed the line.
I have three first cousins, that I am very close to. Also have 21 second cousins of which I have met just over half. Beyond that I have met only a few. I have connected with one fourth cousin who I have had regular contact with since connecting with her on ancestry early last year.
Family dynamic, geography, age all play a big part in what type of relationship you may or may not have with a cousin, aunt, uncle or even a grandparent for that matter. My grandmother often refered to people beyond the immediate family circle as connections rather than cousins. Since researching my family and building a tree I have really started to appreciate how much geography plays a big part in if a family remained close. especially in the early 20th century and earlier. Neither my parents who are both in their early seventies knew who any of their second cousins are. In the last couple years I have identified over 60 of them from both sides. I think the question all comes down to if a relationship exists or not. Yes everyone in your match list is a cousin on paper, but anything beyond that is for you to decide.
We also have instances in which there is a cousin once removed (in relation to my mother), or a cousin twice removed (in relation to me) but we all called her "aunt Marie" for simplicity.
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Simplicity would be to call her Marie or cousin Marie not making up a relationship.
I keep in touch with all of my first cousins, except for one. And I'm in contact with some of my mom's first cousins (so my second cousins?) And then, some of THEIR children.
I'm also keep in touch with about 3 or 4 cousins, who go back to my great great grandfather on my dad's side. I can't really keep it straight who they descend from. But my GG grandfather had like 10 kids. Whatever. LOL We're friendly with each other, and keep in touch.
If you are asking when do family members start to be considered or become "strangers" I would say probably when the most recent common ancestor is a 3rd or 4th great grandparent.
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