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Just turned 40yrs. old... lived in one city my whole life..but traveled extensively on and off for work...Finally came to a conclusion that I want to move to another city.Is that too far fetched....The reason I pose this question is because I am being told...
1. You'll never make it.
2. You don't know anyone there
3. No family or support structure there...
Personally, you know it's time to 'move on" when every little thing annoys you about the city......You've been there/done that to everything. And when you hear transplants rave about the city and how they love it so.....
With that being said...My home is on the market...(praying it sells) and gonna step out on faith and hope for the best....Good thing is I work for a global company and could always transfer to where Iwould like to be...This may sound corny...but I honestly feel I am supposed to be in the city where I want to relocate to.....Can't explain it.....Care to chime in?
Funny. I just turned forty and am thinking of moving to a city in another state. I've lived in the same place all my life and think it could be time for some new surroundings/different atmosphere/vibe, etc. I'd be leaving friends and activities. A difference is if I move to where I might want, I would have family in the area (hour away.) I've been tossing around the pros and cons. Decisions, decisions.
Funny. I just turned forty and am thinking of moving to a city in another state. I've lived in the same place all my life and think it could be time for some new surroundings/different atmosphere/vibe, etc. I'd be leaving friends and activities. A difference is if I move to where I might want, I would have family in the area (hour away.) I've been tossing around the pros and cons. Decisions, decisions.
Aah..Someone feels me on this topic...I mean..yes..it would be like starting over...but to me that exciting....
- Yes none of my friends would be there... but ya know what..I'd make new friends
- Plus would give the family someplace new to visit instead of the same ole, same ole.......
It depends on where you want to move to. Some places are an easier transition than others. At 40, your piers will be people that are married and have kids (which envelopes their whole lives) or divorced and it will be harder to find good friends to hang with (sorry to have to bring this up, but it's true). Not impossible, just harder. That's really the only stumbling block I can see for you, without knowing any other information.
Shake off the naysayers in your current city. I've lived in 7 states and it never fails. Every time I go to move, I get all those same generic negative comments. When I was moving to Chicago I got "But it's really cold, you'll hate it", "it's too expensive", etc etc. Now that I'm preparing to move to Seattle, the naysayers are at it again. The only person being supportive is the one friend who wants to go there too.
I don't know if it's just an impulse people have, their too scared to do it themselves, or if they are just so unhappy in their own lives and they are unable to escape that they try to talk you out of it. Just ignore them.
True, you are going to have to rebuild your support group and that can be tough for some. Have the right attitude, get out, etc and it will be easier. It's a process, but you may luck out and hit it off with some new people right away. I know I have in a couple of places, while others it's taken longer. Some places much longer.
I do have some advice through my own moves and those around me and that is in regards to the biggest obstacle of any big move that people go through. You'll wrestle with it like the rest I'm sure, but it will pass, and that is after the excitement of the move wears off (usually a couple of weeks after you arrive at your new city), that "homesick" feeling kicks in. Usually once you get settled in, your brain is going to struggle with this change. I even read about this phenomenon recently. But hang in there, it passes. Don't give up and move back in the first year. I've seen people throw in the towel on a move 3 - 4 months in. Thats not giving it a chance. You have to give yourself time to adjust to your new life. Goodluck.
I say Go For It !!!......at 21 I moved from Manchester UK to London UK. I had a job but no friends or family there and guess what - I made loads of new friends.
At 36 my husband and I moved to Hong Kong leaving all our friends in London ( he had moved to London leaving all his friends and family in Switzerland 7 years earlier) and started again in not only another city but a completely different culture. Admittedly I did have my husband around but as he worked long hours it mostly didn't feel like it. Our friends and family came and visited and we made lots of new friends there.
After 3 years we picked up and moved to Singapore..... again leaving all our new friends in HK, and after just over a year there we moved to New York to start all over again.
Ultimately what is the worst that can happen especially if you have a job to go to?? you might hate it and move back and appreciate all the things you left behind...... OR you might love it and kick yourself for not having moved earlier.... yeah its not as easy to meet single people in your 40's but that will be the same in your home town........
Before you go write a letter to yourself with all the things you will be happy to leave behind, all the things that you don't like about the present place.... seal it and only read it again when you are homesick.
You sound like someone who's following her instincts. Good job.
At 40? In one city your whole life, wanting to move? I think it's completely normal. It's especially normal these days with both internet and TV, making the world so small. And you've traveled so much already. So you know something more is out there. Congrats for following your hunches.
"You'll never make it" - that's a pretty funny/bold statement. It's the statement of someone who's obviously pretty insecure. (Let me guess - this person has lived in that city their whole life and/or doesn't have a job, like you, that takes them anywhere or broadens their horizons. OR... they had a failed moving experience of their own and are trying to project their own failure onto you.) What? Are you moving to Saturn?... You've had a job in the travel industry for a while. You sound pretty self-sufficient. I'm sure there's nothing in your new town that isn't in your old town. How will you "not make it"?
Moving and embracing major change isn't easy, but it's sometimes necessary. And you know in your gut when it IS.
I think you're adventurous, brave, and doing exactly what your inner urges are telling you to do. Have a great move!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ankhharu
Shake off the naysayers in your current city. I've lived in 7 states and it never fails. Every time I go to move, I get all those same generic negative comments. When I was moving to Chicago I got "But it's really cold, you'll hate it", "it's too expensive", etc etc. Now that I'm preparing to move to Seattle, the naysayers are at it again. The only person being supportive is the one friend who wants to go there too.
I don't know if it's just an impulse people have, their too scared to do it themselves, or if they are just so unhappy in their own lives and they are unable to escape that they try to talk you out of it. Just ignore them.
True, you are going to have to rebuild your support group and that can be tough for some. Have the right attitude, get out, etc and it will be easier. It's a process, but you may luck out and hit it off with some new people right away. I know I have in a couple of places, while others it's taken longer. Some places much longer.
I do have some advice through my own moves and those around me and that is in regards to the biggest obstacle of any big move that people go through. You'll wrestle with it like the rest I'm sure, but it will pass, and that is after the excitement of the move wears off (usually a couple of weeks after you arrive at your new city), that "homesick" feeling kicks in. Usually once you get settled in, your brain is going to struggle with this change. I even read about this phenomenon recently. But hang in there, it passes. Don't give up and move back in the first year. I've seen people throw in the towel on a move 3 - 4 months in. Thats not giving it a chance. You have to give yourself time to adjust to your new life. Goodluck.
I hope that lady in another thread from Texas who is nervous to move to Iowa reads this.
thanks for the well wishes.... I honestly i have never felt so strongly about something before....I know that it's my hometown and will always be my hometown...but at this stage in life...it's time to move on and step out on faith...It's like you said....I feel it in my 'gut'...so Im gonna go with it..
It's very normal to want to move in your case. I have moved to three different towns with no family or friends there. You might feel lonely at first but it's not too painful. If you have a job where you move and the cost of living will keep up with the wage there is no reason you can't make it if you don't want to.
I lived in the Akron area for 32 years, then I moved to Utah w/ my family for hubby's work. Great change! =) My Mom will be 66 in a mos, & she has lived w/in a 1/2 mile radius since birth. Might not even be that big. Yeah, she doesn't like change at all. lol
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