Any parents moved recently or planning a move?

[Sonnenwende]

My daughter is just shy of 5 and is so excited, she can hardly stand it. She already knows what she wants to take with her, wants to help pack boxes, told everyone before we actually intended to tell some people. Moving is what she knows though. We've moved basically every year she has been alive. Might be harder for other kids that weren't born into the nomadic lifestyle. She is also so extremely extroverted (unlike her parents, go figure!), I have no doubts about her ability to adapt quickly and make new friends immediately.

[okaydorothy]

We have two boys ; 10 and 12. We are planning a move to a different country and my younger son is thrilled ; asking lots of questions etc. We hope to visit this year and be living there within a year.
My older son is very quiet. I know he does not want to go but it will be closer to family, which we have never been. It is also to a country that speaks a different language so that will be hard on him.

Just trying to keep it as honest as possible,

[Alicia64]

I moved with six year old twins a year ago. We sold the house they'd been brought it. We left tons of their friends that I had actively cultivated.

Sad. Sad. Sad. But we had to get out of CA -- we were going down the drain w/ the state so it helped that we knew we were doing the best long term thing for our sons.

Things that have helped:

1) as soon as we moved I worked hard to establish new friendships. I was amazed at how quickly kids this age "click in" with other kids. It stunned me.

2) I talked a lot about visiting CA and our friends -- and, in fact, we visited just seven months later. Not everyone can do that and it was a little on the quick end for me, but the kids got the message, "your life in CA mattered and matters."

3) I explained to the boys how I had friends all around the country. How moving doesn't change feelings. How you can still care about friends whether you live on the east coast or west coast.

I'm also not a big fan of the kids-are-resilient theory. Every time I hear that theory I want to say, "have you MET all of the best upped adults walking around??"

I should add: starting w/ me. I moved every two or three yrs. as a kid because of my dad's job. The moving was adventuresome in my mind so I was always excited.

What my parents did not do well:

1) they never let us help pick our new house. I felt totally left out . . . and was. My parents saw my sister and me as hindrances and parked us w/ friends or family while they house shopped. My kids whine about house hunting, yes, but at the same time they get to tell us what the love/don't love etc. and I'm listening. I think it's valuable.

2) My mom did absolutely nothing to help me maintain friendships. Nothing. She maintained her own friendships, but didn't help me at all. Now, when we moved when I was six or so it didn't really matter to me. But we moved when I was 11 yrs. and needed encouragement and help to do the pen pal thing etc. She never helped or said a word -- and never took us back to visit friends. (We were only a four hour drive away.) Ever. The message was: friends are like tissues. Easily thrown away when you move.

I don't want my boys to come away with that idea.

PM me if you'd like. Between moving as a kid and then moving my six year olds, I think I can give more insight.

Alley

[xtin]

moving with a 3 year old and 1 year old in the late Spring/Early Summer
the 3 year old has sensory integration disorder and is totally socially awkward on top of the fact that any small changes completely freak her out

Then there is the 800 mile car ride

[sheena12]

We moved from Long Island NY to Wilkes Barre PA. OK not exactly half way around the world but a very big cultural change from wealthy suburb to small middle to working class city.
My kids were accustomed to living on an acre and "swimming pools movie stars".

This is more of a working class city with some middle and upper middle class people.
At the time of the move my kids were 15 and 13. I prepared them with visits to PA - they developed favorite places,friends and a general affinity for the area.

Ease them into it if you can. It worked with my kids.