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Old 09-04-2014, 10:33 PM
 
7 posts, read 15,985 times
Reputation: 21

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ7 View Post
Good luck, I would never want to live in CA personally (too expensive).
It's apples and oranges. I moved from Cali to SC for 2 years. The only thing I found cheaper was gas and cigarets. Mind you, I lived in Charleston, so it's a tourist town, but the cost of living is outrageous. The property taxes are about the same as CA and actually have the ability to rise. In CA, because of prop 13, your housing taxes are fixed and won't rise, unless you remodel and reassess your house, but even then, it's not bad. The flood and hurricane insurance is like a mortgage payment every month. Rent in our area was very expensive, I don't know how people on a fixed income can live there. Property taxes on your car is about the same as in CA, but CA has it all under one roof at DMV, rather than having to drive to the tax assessor and back to DMV in SC (annoying!) Food prices are higher in SC, because they don't have the availability of locally grown, like CA.

Long Beach, CA is an expensive area, as is most of SoCal, but you can find nice places to live for very reasonable, especially in the Central Valley.
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Old 09-04-2014, 10:51 PM
 
7 posts, read 15,985 times
Reputation: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by stringbean16 View Post
I so relate to this post! I moved to the most beautiful area, beyond gorgeous, but I miss my "ugly" hometown. After living in California for 30 years of my life, my husband and I decided to move 2,800 miles from home to Charleston, SC. I work from home here, so it's not been easy getting out and meeting people. I've made friends with some moms of my elementary school daughter, but have not made close friendships. I've noticed people are very clannish here and stick to themselves. While we have nice neighbors and live in a fantastic neighborhood, I still feel alone.

We've been here almost 2 years and I suffer from major depression because I want to move home. I've told my husband this many times but he is happy here and doesn't want to go back, even after his adult daughter had two grandchildren. Our younger daughter misses our family back in California, is very close to her big sister in CA and she cries often about missing her. I feel like I've taken away her opportunity to grow up around her cousins and aunts and uncles and only remaining grandmother. My In-laws both died two years ago and they were the center of our family, so it's not the same, but we have significant ties to Cslifornia, including some very close friends. I'm extremely lonely and miss everyone, but my husband doesn't want to leave.

I've decided that I may have to make a major decision in the next month. My daughter wants to go back to her old school in California, so I'm thinking of moving back during the school year with her and come back to SC during holidays and school breaks to be with her dad. She is struggling terribly at her school here and did not adjust well, but never had the problem at her old private school in California. I need to do what's best for her and for me at this point. Hopefully my husband will change his mind eventually,

I agree with everyone's assessment that moving away and going back home is not a failure. It definitely shows you what's important to you in life. To me, my extended family and roots are more important to me than the beauty of my town.
So a month later, I'm back in my ugly hometown with my daughter and one of my boys. My husband and two of my grown sons are still in SC. My husband isn't ready to make the move back right now and that's ok. It wasn't easy to leave them, but I've been back for about 3 weeks and don't regret it. I'm where I belong, home.
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Old 09-11-2014, 08:04 AM
 
4,124 posts, read 8,073,652 times
Reputation: 3697
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoanCrawford View Post
I was recently offered a job in Phoenix but turned it down because the city seems so desolate from everything. I'm interested, what is it that you didn't like?


I was expecting an instant change. New quick friendships, romance, ect. I do not like to talk much about this as it is psychologically damaging. I can't repeat it. I need to move, but it must be new and different. I had great times in Phoenix in the early 90's and just thought I could automatically recreate the vibe. I need to go somewhere else like Nashville.
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Old 09-21-2014, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
6 posts, read 8,816 times
Reputation: 16
I have moved around a bit as well. IL>CA>IL>PA>GA>WI>England>WI>OR
My parents divorced when I was 7 so I also spent some time with my dad at his homes in MI, KY, TN, IN, and CO.

England was the place I felt most at home, but I was on a temporary marriage visa and my husband decided he was done, so I had to move back to America. With no job, money, and only the possessions I could carry in 2 suitcases, I crashed with my mother and her husband in WI for a year to get back on my feet. I had romanticized moving to the PNW - looking at the pictures, knowing it was much more liberal (I lived in the most conservative county in WI), and hearing how much everyone loved it, I convinced myself it was going to be just as amazing as the UK.

I moved here almost 2 years ago and it was not easy. I didn't have a job lined up, I had a modest amount of savings, and I'd never been here before. It wasn't what I expected at all. That being said, I have made a good life for myself here now. I have a great job, a wide variety of friends with a crazy social life. I don't need a car and get around pretty well on transit. My friends with cars have graciously helped me explore the coast, the gorge, the mountains, the burbs. I do enjoy it here, but I still have this tickle in the back of my mind about moving back to the east coast.

Recently I went back to the tiny town in PA where I spent my teens and early 20's and was surprised how little had changed - but in a good way. Everyone remembered me and was incredibly welcoming. It was as charming and quaint as I had remembered - but I do wonder if I could transition back to small town life after living in a city.

At this point I still don't know. I plan on staying here for at least a few more years to work on my career and finances, but I don't think I want to stay here long-term. I'm debating a road trip around the SE next year to check out some other areas I might be interested in (Smoky Mnts; Asheville, NC; Charleston, SC; New Orleans, etc.) and visit family, but I do wonder about whether the politics would get to me quickly.

New England appeals to me in most ways, except the harsh winters. Historic buildings, liberal leanings, shorter/cheaper flights to Europe, closeness of everything, stunning autumns, sultry summers, etc., but I don't know if I'm just romanticizing again. Maybe by the time I reach my proposed end date I'll be so comfortable in Oregon I won't leave lol. I guess it's just nice to know I'm not the only crazy person that thinks so much about moving
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Old 10-02-2014, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Both sides of the Red River
779 posts, read 2,093,331 times
Reputation: 1120
I'm glad I found this thread. I've spent all morning reading these responses and I'm glad these feelings are not just me.

I grew up in the DFW suburbs. But long story short, I hated it and was so glad to go away to college, which I did in 2004. I moved to OK where my family is originally from. I generally liked it, but over time I went back and forth as to whether I wanted to return to Texas when I was done with school. I realized that a lot of my hate was likely just my own teenage angst. Eventually I got a job in OK and really grew to like the area. Don't get me wrong there were things I didn't like, namely the weather and the politics. But over time I formed a really nice network of people and got involved in a lot of organizations.

But I always had this nagging feeling that maybe I should return home. So this winter when my job started going south (boss went nutso and the amount of business on my end was in noticeable decline), I put in some resumes down in Dallas ans sure enough one of them panned out. When I got the offer I had this nagging feeling of "DON'T DO IT!" but I figured that was just nerves and the fear of the unknown. I jumped headfirst into my new opportunity and looked foward to "coming home."

Six months in, and I'm thinking I made the wrong decision. The job is going wonderfully. But everything else? Well, whoever said "you can never come home again" may have been on to something. Its really become abundantly clear to me this is not my kind of town. Dallas is not a bad city; but for me, it's been a huge letdown and I'm starting to remember all the reasons I hated it. The sprawl, crazy traffic, chain restaraunts everywhere. Not to mention the surprisingly high COL which have cancelled out any boost in pay I received. The things I disliked about OK are really no different here.

I think the biggest disappointment has been the slow steady death of my social life. Even with my family nearby, I don't think I've ever felt so alone in my life. I have always been a pretty social person and can meet people fairly easy. I certainly didn't expect to replace my social life that I had in OK down here in just 6 months, but I really thought I would have made more progress than I have now. I actually had a small network of old friends and family members that I thought I could depend upon. With the exception of my sister, most have flaked out on me. Heck, I actually talk to my parents LESS despite being 20 miles away than when I was 200 miles away. This has been very upsetting for me. For the record, people here are very friendly. But if I may be critical, people here are also overly career focused and, dare I say, a bit pretentious. The sprawl and long distances also makes it kinda hard to really form relationships...and I've actually had multiple transplants tell me this.

I really want this move to work out. Like I said my job is going very well and for that fact alone I don't regret this relocation. But after another weekend at home, this past week has been the first time I've seriously thought about throwing in the towel. Its been a learning experience for me. I actually used to complain about having too much to do in my old hometown. Good grief I would KILL to do even a fraction of what I was back then.

To all who are getting that little nagging feeling to "go back home" think LONG and hard about it. You've changed, your old hometown has changed, your friends and family have changed. It will not be the same going back. As for me? I've managed to keep up with most of my friends in OK and outside of finding a job, it wouldn't be hard for me at all to go back. Its just me and my dog. But I haven't exhausted all my options here, and my parents do want me to stay. Going to give it another 6 months but if I feel the same way I do now, I'm outta here!

Last edited by #1soonerfan; 10-02-2014 at 02:32 PM..
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Old 10-05-2014, 12:20 AM
 
Location: wi
52 posts, read 88,205 times
Reputation: 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by #1soonerfan View Post
I'm glad I found this thread. I've spent all morning reading these responses and I'm glad these feelings are not just me.

I grew up in the DFW suburbs. But long story short, I hated it and was so glad to go away to college, which I did in 2004. I moved to OK where my family is originally from. I generally liked it, but over time I went back and forth as to whether I wanted to return to Texas when I was done with school. I realized that a lot of my hate was likely just my own teenage angst. Eventually I got a job in OK and really grew to like the area. Don't get me wrong there were things I didn't like, namely the weather and the politics. But over time I formed a really nice network of people and got involved in a lot of organizations.

But I always had this nagging feeling that maybe I should return home. So this winter when my job started going south (boss went nutso and the amount of business on my end was in noticeable decline), I put in some resumes down in Dallas ans sure enough one of them panned out. When I got the offer I had this nagging feeling of "DON'T DO IT!" but I figured that was just nerves and the fear of the unknown. I jumped headfirst into my new opportunity and looked foward to "coming home."

Six months in, and I'm thinking I made the wrong decision. The job is going wonderfully. But everything else? Well, whoever said "you can never come home again" may have been on to something. Its really become abundantly clear to me this is not my kind of town. Dallas is not a bad city; but for me, it's been a huge letdown and I'm starting to remember all the reasons I hated it. The sprawl, crazy traffic, chain restaraunts everywhere. Not to mention the surprisingly high COL which have cancelled out any boost in pay I received. The things I disliked about OK are really no different here.

I think the biggest disappointment has been the slow steady death of my social life. Even with my family nearby, I don't think I've ever felt so alone in my life. I have always been a pretty social person and can meet people fairly easy. I certainly didn't expect to replace my social life that I had in OK down here in just 6 months, but I really thought I would have made more progress than I have now. I actually had a small network of old friends and family members that I thought I could depend upon. With the exception of my sister, most have flaked out on me. Heck, I actually talk to my parents LESS despite being 20 miles away than when I was 200 miles away. This has been very upsetting for me. For the record, people here are very friendly. But if I may be critical, people here are also overly career focused and, dare I say, a bit pretentious. The sprawl and long distances also makes it kinda hard to really form relationships...and I've actually had multiple transplants tell me this.

I really want this move to work out. Like I said my job is going very well and for that fact alone I don't regret this relocation. But after another weekend at home, this past week has been the first time I've seriously thought about throwing in the towel. Its been a learning experience for me. I actually used to complain about having too much to do in my old hometown. Good grief I would KILL to do even a fraction of what I was back then.

To all who are getting that little nagging feeling to "go back home" think LONG and hard about it. You've changed, your old hometown has changed, your friends and family have changed. It will not be the same going back. As for me? I've managed to keep up with most of my friends in OK and outside of finding a job, it wouldn't be hard for me at all to go back. Its just me and my dog. But I haven't exhausted all my options here, and my parents do want me to stay. Going to give it another 6 months but if I feel the same way I do now, I'm outta here!
Hope it all works out for you. Great perspective and advice. I get that little nagging feeling often to go back to a place that I complained about and didn't like. It's easy to remember the good times and feel like "home" is that safe place that can fix any little problem that pops up. I haven't pulled the plug on leaving the new place I love to go back to the boring one I don't like, but I wish that nagging feeling would go away.
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Old 10-05-2014, 01:42 AM
MJ7
 
6,221 posts, read 9,367,483 times
Reputation: 6530
Quote:
Originally Posted by stringbean16 View Post
It's apples and oranges. I moved from Cali to SC for 2 years. The only thing I found cheaper was gas and cigarets. Mind you, I lived in Charleston, so it's a tourist town, but the cost of living is outrageous. The property taxes are about the same as CA and actually have the ability to rise. In CA, because of prop 13, your housing taxes are fixed and won't rise, unless you remodel and reassess your house, but even then, it's not bad. The flood and hurricane insurance is like a mortgage payment every month. Rent in our area was very expensive, I don't know how people on a fixed income can live there. Property taxes on your car is about the same as in CA, but CA has it all under one roof at DMV, rather than having to drive to the tax assessor and back to DMV in SC (annoying!) Food prices are higher in SC, because they don't have the availability of locally grown, like CA.

Long Beach, CA is an expensive area, as is most of SoCal, but you can find nice places to live for very reasonable, especially in the Central Valley.
I like apples and oranges, but not the ones you're describing. I'm used to not having state income or city income taxes.
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