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I have made two moves that might be considered failures. After going to college 25 miles away from my hometown, I decided I needed to move further away (and there were no jobs in the area anyway). So I moved to this little, tiny town near Missoula, MT (I'm from a different part of Montana) mostly on the advice of well-meaning but misguided friends and family, but also to try to work things out with my fiancee whom I had been estranged from. That move turned out to be a disaster as it was a very low-paying job, I couldn't stand the culture in western Montana, had no friends, and things did not work out with the fiancee. I had been laid off from that job (that I was planning on quitting) and moved back home. The next year I moved to Casper, WY, which is a great town, but sadly I was laid off from that job too. Then I ended up in Rock Springs, WY where I have been for almost four years now. I think all of these moves have helped me grow as a person. It is always good for anyone to experience new places and meet new people, whether it turns out to be a good or bad experience.
My move has been successful for the most part but there are times I think about moving back home. Each place has its own mini culture and I think that was the biggest surprise to me because we stayed in the Midwest. Financially we are so much better off in our new location but I am not so sure I fit into the culture here. I am still giving it my best shot after 2 1/2 yrs. My concern is maybe this place really isn't for me and I am fooling myself. Time will tell I guess.
My relocation attempt of late failed miserably. I lived in a motel for 4 weeks and then I gave up and returned to my former apartment which I had to make arrangements to go back to. I'm on a housing assistance program and my worker was suppose to send my housing voucher but she did not answer my emails for nearly 1 month or like 28 days. When I visited her office and asked her she said the last email I got from you was June 2. Now I'd emailed her almost daily the entire month. There were also problems with the city of my choice, Charlotte, NC. There seemed to be few, or no, Sec 8 housing in the safer areas of Charlotte which is the South. I had to depend on the city bus and the bus rides were long. I could not handle the poor air quality; my chest felt weird. And there were many, many people which was kind of scary. I was very concerned about the crime rate being an 8 for violent and an 8 for property according to Sperlings. So I returned to from whence I came. So now I'm very disappointed and depressed. For I live in a small town that doesn't have a good bus system and I don't have a car. My life is rather limited. I don't friends; I have no one who can take me places.I have to walk to nearly everywhere I go to. If I wanted to go someplace 3 miles away I would not be able to make the walk.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gnubler
I have moved many times in my adult life. I usually do a tiny bit of research about a place before I go, but not much. Some places I have never even visited before. I enjoy plopping myself in a new, strange place and starting from scratch, not knowing a soul, and seeing how far I get. Somehow, I always seem to make it, find a good job fairly quickly, get settled...until a few years pass and I want to experience a new city or area.
One exception is when I moved to Salt Lake City when I was 18, got a job in a hotel that worked me 8 hours a day 7 days a week - I was too timid to demand a day off and I wanted the overtime pay. Well, I ended up sleeping in my car because I never got the time off to look for a place to live. After two months of this I called it quits and drove back 2000 miles where I came from. I only blame this on being young and too shy to stand up for myself.
So who of you have made the move to a brand new place and failed? What happened? Did you honestly tap every resource to get yourself started and settled in a new place, or did you give up early due to homesickness or some other reason? What kind of hardships did you endure before saying forget it and just going back to where you came from?
I can relate. More often then not I find myself thinking I maybe should of never left my home town. But I left there when I was 18 and now I'm 53. I lived in So IL for like 31 years; I had only 3 friends but lots of acquaintances. Real friends are very had to come by. My life was very limited so I tried to relocate many times. I was able to relocate to Chapel Hill, NC for 1.5 year but I returned to IL to spend time with my elderly mother before she passed away. I think when you move to a new place it might take a long time to develop friendships. You might think you don't fit in that well but if your financial situation is better you can always take occasional trips back home.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater
My move has been successful for the most part but there are times I think about moving back home. Each place has its own mini culture and I think that was the biggest surprise to me because we stayed in the Midwest. Financially we are so much better off in our new location but I am not so sure I fit into the culture here. I am still giving it my best shot after 2 1/2 yrs. My concern is maybe this place really isn't for me and I am fooling myself. Time will tell I guess.
I can relate. More often then not I find myself thinking I maybe should of never left my home town. But I left there when I was 18 and now I'm 53. I lived in So IL for like 31 years; I had only 3 friends but lots of acquaintances. Real friends are very had to come by. My life was very limited so I tried to relocate many times. I was able to relocate to Chapel Hill, NC for 1.5 year but I returned to IL to spend time with my elderly mother before she passed away. I think when you move to a new place it might take a long time to develop friendships. You might think you don't fit in that well but if your financial situation is better you can always take occasional trips back home.
I love Chapel Hill! We tried to move to NC a while back and I just fell in love with that city. I go back and forth about my current situation. I would like to move. Sometimes I think about going back home because I have friends there but the the city where I grew up is not the same. It really went down hill and that would not be an option. Also I have to remind myself why I left. No jobs! Sometimes all I need is a small trip back home, see the in-laws and think wheww..glad I dont have to deal with that every weekend like I used to. So its a back and forth kind of thing. I really try not to take for granted what my current locale has provided me, its just not easy meeting people once you get to a certain age.
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
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..an old Thread, but worth and answer....
I realize this trread was started in 2007, however it obviously has been revived....so I'll add my two cents to the original OP's question.
It is my HO that 90% of all moves to a new local that end up in failure in one or more ways, are the result of (#1) acting on impluse; (#2) not doing enough research about the area IN ALL RESPECTS; #3 moving without having a job lined up; #4) moving without having a large-enough "Cash_Reserve" to get you over the "tough-times" of the 1st year.
All of these situations are the result(s) of the "person(s)" making the move "without doing their home-work thoroughly"........don't blame it on someone or some other "outside influence".....you had choices....you made the decision(s)......own up to it....learn from your mistakes........AND keep on trying to make it work.
I realize this trread was started in 2007, however it obviously has been revived....so I'll add my two cents to the original OP's question.
It is my HO that 90% of all moves to a new local that end up in failure in one or more ways, are the result of (#1) acting on impluse; (#2) not doing enough research about the area IN ALL RESPECTS; #3 moving without having a job lined up; #4) moving without having a large-enough "Cash_Reserve" to get you over the "tough-times" of the 1st year.
All of these situations are the result(s) of the "person(s)" making the move "without doing their home-work thoroughly"........don't blame it on someone or some other "outside influence".....you had choices....you made the decision(s)......own up to it....learn from your mistakes........AND keep on trying to make it work.
Although I agree with some of this, I think relocations are a bit more complicated on why they dont work out. In this economy many have very little time to research before a move especially if they are unemployed. I had 2 weeks to research with the possibility there might be a job offer. I was shocked when the company basically asked my husband for an answer at the conclusion of the interview. Thank goodness I had spent the time before hand researching. But there will always be something a person doesnt anticipate until they actually live there.
Hahaha, this is a thread close to my heart, have moved many times.
Moved from San Diego to Cheyenne. Was really nice.....but the altitude messed with my breathing....never seemed to adapt, left after 7 months........winters did not help a lot.
From Wy I went to Tucson.....that lasted 18 months..........pretty nice ....and also pretty seedy and scummy in many areas............and the summers.........wow....just could not see doing that long term.
Back to San Diego....El Cajon.......scummy and nasty with vagrants all over downtown.
Moved a couple of time since EC......next move I will make stick for at least 5 years.......pretty sick of moving.
I'm glad this thread is here. I just moved to the Bay Area from LA at the end of June. I left LA because I had hated it for years, felt trapped there, and wanted to emancipate myself. Now that I'm here in SF (East Bay) I realize all the good things about LA, and that it was really my home. I know people love the Bay Area but I find it dark, depressing, cold and kind of creepy in this way I can't put my finger on. I'm soooo homesick but I already have a job up here and the thought of getting a job back down there again is exhausting. I don't know how much longer I can make it up here though.....I can't picture myself living here long term. I guess the good thing is that it made me realize that LA was not so bad as I thought. I want to go home !!
Everytime I move somewhere, it seems I'm always looking backward to home. It takes a couple of years for that feeling to go away.
Not that I left much behind; but my life there was easier and cheaper.
I think it's common to look back somewhat.
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My relocation attempt failed also
I lived in a motel for 4 weeks and then I gave up and returned to my former apartment which I had to make arrangements to go back to. I'm on a housing assistance program and my worker was suppose to send my housing voucher but she did not answer my emails for nearly 1 month or like 28 days. 
When I visited her office and asked her she said the last email I got from you was June 2. Now I'd emailed her almost daily the entire month. There were also problems with the city of my choice, Charlotte, NC. There seemed to be few, or no, Sec 8 housing in the safer areas of Charlotte which is the South. I had to depend on the city bus and the bus rides were long. I could not handle the poor air quality; my chest felt weird. And there were many, many people which was kind of scary. I was very concerned about the crime rate being an 8 for violent and an 8 for property according to Sperlings. So I returned to from whence I came. So now I'm very disappointed and depressed. For I live in a small town that doesn't have a good bus system and I don't have a car. My life is rather limited. I don't friends; I have no one who can take me places.I have to walk to nearly everywhere I go to. If I wanted to go someplace 3 miles away I would not be able to make the walk. 
Relocation can be hard
I can relate. More often then not I find myself thinking I maybe should of never left my home town. But I left there when I was 18 and now I'm 53. I lived in So IL for like 31 years; I had only 3 friends but lots of acquaintances. Real friends are very had to come by. My life was very limited so I tried to relocate many times. I was able to relocate to Chapel Hill, NC for 1.5 year but I returned to IL to spend time with my elderly mother before she passed away. I think when you move to a new place it might take a long time to develop friendships. You might think you don't fit in that well but if your financial situation is better you can always take occasional trips back home. 
So its a back and forth kind of thing. I really try not to take for granted what my current locale has provided me, its just not easy meeting people once you get to a certain age.
..an old Thread, but worth and answer....
