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Wow, I really made a bad choice. 2 yrs ago, I had a horrible break up with my ex after living in the DC metro area for 12 yrs. I was able to get a job in Denver doing what I was doing in the DC metro. I went out there and stayed 6 months and had a hard time and I figured coming back to the DC metro area was the best thing for me since I "had friends here". What a mistake-I had an anxiety attack a few days after I got back and it's been tough because I think I realized then I made a mistake. Now I have been here almost 2 yrs. and everyday is hard... I work in govt. and I can't get out of here doing what I do because there's a hiring freeze. Everything is going up, up up in price, I don't make enough and I am living in a crummy apt. right now because that's all I can afford. All my "friends" are at totally different places in their lives personally and financially. I know I will be fine now somewhere else but can't get there. I am in my early 50's and am really miserable. I came back to my old job and it really sucks. Is there anyone who feels the same way and if so, what are you doing to deal with it?
You had a job in DC, but broke up with your ex and moved to Denver where you had a (government?) job.
You didn't like it so you moved back to DC, where you went back to your old government job.
Prices are going up and you think that you can do better elsewhere, but you can't transfer anywhere because there's a hiring freeze.
You are in your 50's.
OK...
How do you know things will be better elsewhere? Mostly, they aren't. Prices are going up everywhere, not just in DC. There are people who have moved to places that they didn't like - but had no job to go back to 'back home'. You were very lucky they let you transfer back at all.
Are you sure that moving is right for you?
Do you have a place in mind to go? Have you ever been there? Have you researched the job market, the housing/rental market, the cost of living?
Do you understand that colleges all over the country are turning out graduates every 3-4 months who cannot find jobs - and that at the age of 50+ , you'll have an even tougher time finding one?
Do you have a specialized skill where your experience is valuable? Are there only certain places where this skill is needed? Have you looked into those places?
Are you aware that many people are being foreclosed on, losing their jobs and homes, loading all of their possessions in their cars and going to states looking for jobs? Are you aware of the "tent cities" that have sprung up all over the country, where many of these people end up? Are you that desperate? Do you think that you might reach that desperate point?
These are the questions that you need to explore, calmly, rationally, and reasonably, before you have another anxiety attack.
I know exactly how you feel (though I'm in my mid-20s instead). Maybe for your sake, remind yourself that you're lucky you live alone since so many people are forced to live with other people they probably can't stand (such as family). I don't know the details about your apartment, but maybe it'd help to be thankful of the roof over your head. You can also keep looking for another job (and do things to add to your resume). Can you relocate again?
I live with my mother and am underemployed (technically I'm part-time, but often work full-time hours) and in college. I have no vacation-time, no health insurance, no money to do anything since paying half the bills in a friggin' house which I can't afford to live in, takes all my money (oh but I can't get an apartment since I'm just barely under the income-requirement of most apartment managers. What really fries me is that my first apartment, which I once rented pretty comfortably, is almost twice the cost that it was like six years ago. And if I'm lucky enough to find a place that doesn't have an income-requirement, they turn up in the bed-bug registry. So yeah I know just how you feel.
There is not a federal hiring freeze. If you want to move, think about where you want to go, and apply for jobs in your series in those areas. You probably will not get relocation, so you will have to get rid of most of your stuff and start all over. It can be done, it is just not easy.
If you can't change jobs, maybe you could at least change apartments?
And it sounds to me like you are lonely. I am sorry. Are there ways for you to get more involved and meet more people, like through volunteering or church or something?
There is not a federal hiring freeze. If you want to move, think about where you want to go, and apply for jobs in your series in those areas. You probably will not get relocation, so you will have to get rid of most of your stuff and start all over. It can be done, it is just not easy.
Some federal agencies have stopped hiring - or they just leave jobs unfilled because of $$$ -- The San Bernardino National Forest is looking at having to RIF people - so - yes, in some area's there is a hiring freeze.
Working at a government job at your age, you could be looking at an early retirement. Instead of thinking about NOW, think about where you would like to be when you retire. Then, try for employment there.
You get a regular paycheck. Be thankful. The job may be horrible, but would you like to get by on welfare income?
Do you have family somewhere you can move near to? If you're feeling very anxious, I'd try to find out the underlying reasons.
I really do hope things improve for you.
Just being around people who love and care about you can help. Talk with them about what you're feeling.
I agree with this - the "geographical cure" rarely works. I'd figure out what about your current situation is causing you the stress.
I do understand about the gov't job situation, my husband is DoD. It's "tight" out there even for gov't workers. We had to move out of a beautiful home that we had just bought and into a very small (for 3 people) condo. However, we've chosen to focus on being very grateful for what we have vs. what we gave up.
I also understand about being in a very different place than your old pals. I had a baby at 41 - nearly all of our friends have children in high school or out of the house..... the solution to this is to keep in contact with your friends (someday we'll be back in the same place, ie when BabyGirl is older) and in the interim - look for new friends that you have more in common with....
or as I learned in Girl Scouts
make new friends
but keep the old
one is silver
and the other gold
Wow, I really made a bad choice. 2 yrs ago, I had a horrible break up with my ex after living in the DC metro area for 12 yrs. I was able to get a job in Denver doing what I was doing in the DC metro. I went out there and stayed 6 months and had a hard time and I figured coming back to the DC metro area was the best thing for me since I "had friends here". What a mistake-I had an anxiety attack a few days after I got back and it's been tough because I think I realized then I made a mistake. Now I have been here almost 2 yrs. and everyday is hard... I work in govt. and I can't get out of here doing what I do because there's a hiring freeze. Everything is going up, up up in price, I don't make enough and I am living in a crummy apt. right now because that's all I can afford. All my "friends" are at totally different places in their lives personally and financially. I know I will be fine now somewhere else but can't get there. I am in my early 50's and am really miserable. I came back to my old job and it really sucks. Is there anyone who feels the same way and if so, what are you doing to deal with it?
Did you really have an anxiety attack or is that just a term you are using? Maybe seeking help in the form of therapy or counciling?
As others have stated, at least you have a job, and I assume there are fairly decent benefits with a gov. job? The D.C. area would be such a great place to live! Wow, what a treasure trove of opportunities and experiences at your feet. Do you exercise? That can make a world of difference in how you feel! Make new friends, get out and do things! Sounds like you are a bit mired in a rut and need to make some changes. Good luck!
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So yeah I know just how you feel.
