Youngish Couple's Dilemma: To Live Near Family or Move Back to City We Loved

[capam]

Thanks for your reply mollybygolly. That sucks you've been miserable for that long. That's what I fear, that we'll stick it out only to be "okay" or miserable living here, when we loved our life back home.
Avoiding defending myself will be tough. They know how to push my buttons and I usually end up trying to justify my actions, but yes I will avoid it if it comes to that. I think if we have really good job(s) to justify the move then it will be easier but still expect the guilt-trip.
Best of luck with your move south.

[mollybygolly]

Originally Posted by capam

Thanks for your reply mollybygolly. That sucks you've been miserable for that long. That's what I fear, that we'll stick it out only to be "okay" or miserable living here, when we loved our life back home.
Avoiding defending myself will be tough. They know how to push my buttons and I usually end up trying to justify my actions, but yes I will avoid it if it comes to that. I think if we have really good job(s) to justify the move then it will be easier but still expect the guilt-trip.
Best of luck with your move south.

I only gave you that advice (as far as avoiding being defensive) because when I first started discussing my desire to move, I really thought my family would be supportive. I was totally blind-sided when they discouraged me from leaving. Of course I got defensive, and things were tense for a while. Now, I'm just making my plans and not talking to them about it. It would be easier and "better" for them if I stayed here, but it breaks my heart that my family cares so little for MY happiness and well-being. My family (like yours) are expert 'button pushers'.
Thanks for the positive thoughts for my future move
Right back at you

[Foodmuse]

Go where you are happy! Otherwise you are like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. Good Luck!

[silibran]

Elsewhere on another forum I advised someone to make the best decision she could for her immediate family. You are responsible for yourselves as a couple and for any children you may have. In your case you have options because you work remotely. If you loved Plano, TX, then you can always move back. Or you could find another community closer to St. Pete that you like better.

Imagine that you are back in Plano, that you have a couple of kids, and that they have good schools and access to the larger metro area. Just what you are missing in FLA. Then imagine traveling back to FLA for Christmas and for summer vacations. Imagine driving your older kids to stay with Grandma for 6 weeks in the summer. Imagine flying there for Christmas as a family every year. If you have extended familly, imagine seeing them on special occasions, and imagine being there all the time. Would you likely see them often if you continue to live in St. Pete?

Really, only you can make this decision along with your spouse. You have to count the costs on both sides, to see which price you are willing to pay.

And there is this: your parents will grow old, and it may be hard to be a caretaker from TX. Only you know how quickly they are aging, so only you can assess this future possibility.

It is also possible that the right community if FLA could give your kids experiences not available in TX. And you don't have to limit your choices to the area where your family lives. Broaden your search to include other communities. Even 2 hours away from family is considerably shorter than the distance from TX to FLA.

Good luck in your search.