Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > General Moving Issues
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-23-2012, 05:59 PM
 
28 posts, read 144,879 times
Reputation: 40

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaseMan View Post
If you really feel that threatened by him, you should file for a restraining order. Hopefully you've been documenting these instances.
I don't know what the state laws are where she lives but restraining orders are generally for individuals who have been in a sexual relationship, living together or are related by blood or marriage.

A simple documented warning of harassment will suffice as the police will generally tell you. If it continues a no contact order will be issued by a judge if there is enough documentation and she files the paperwork. Her best friend will be the tenant laws, law enforcement and the courts if worked properly.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-27-2012, 05:56 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,126,531 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOROKC View Post
I don't necessarily see anything what you've described to make you move out early. Apartment complexes have neighbors that are loud, and neighbors who have fights. It doesn't make it right, but it's the nature of the beast with apartment complexes. The police cannot necessarily control the noise unless a crime or ordinance is being broken. For him to be in the common areas where you're at doesn't mean anything.

I find it interesting that the property management stated two women broke their leases because of him, but pretend not to know why. I also find it interesting you pay attention to how old the guy is when police are running his information. I don't know why it's odd that a 30-year-old person can't have parties. He has friends, and gatherings so isn't necessarily outside normal.

In short, I think he is just doing this because you called the cops on him. Nothing more, nothing less. There are no crimes that have been committed from what I've seen and I think he is only doing this to justify his past behavior. Don't put too much thought into this, and don't let him control your life on one level or another. It may seem bad, but I think these are childish games at best.

I've dealt with individuals who were like this and worse. Once your lease is up get another lease, or see if someone can take over your existing lease. In the meantime, file noise complaints with the property management company. I would also encourage you to take the necessary firearm courses, and apply for a concealed handgun license regardless.
I disagree w/ you and take offense to your discounting what this person has described as his behavior. It is much more than the noisy party type behavior. OP, I would move asap. You have complained to the LL, essentially they told you nothing, and did nothing to make this man stop. They probably told you as much as they could, hinting that the other ladies w/in his vicinity have moved "unexpectedly" The problem is it isn't against the law to be "crazy" That seems to be the definitive answer here, this guy is stark raving crazy. A normal person, using logic and ration will not be able to deal with him. You need to get somewhere safe, hoping you have parents, or relatives...friends......just leave. And do not leave any forwarding address w/ mgt, he will find out. Contact anyone you comunicate w/ by mail, and personally inform them of your new address when you get one. Seriously, I would have been gone already. And you are right, a restraining order is just a piece of paper, it only works if the person is sane enough to be intimidated by the legalities. This guy isn't. Be safe, but get the heck outta there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-27-2012, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,664 posts, read 30,543,597 times
Reputation: 5178
You might want to really examine your walls and make sure he has not installed a camera or peep hole. They are small as 1/16" now and very hard to see if installed right.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-27-2012, 08:55 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,126,531 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
You might want to really examine your walls and make sure he has not installed a camera or peep hole. They are small as 1/16" now and very hard to see if installed right.
I had wondered that too, especially when the OP described how he seems to follow her into the bathroom, so to speak.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2012, 08:11 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
1,659 posts, read 2,770,198 times
Reputation: 2441
Good Lord, I hadn't really thought of a camera. I doubt it since the wall looks okay, no little hole or anything. Ferretkona, I wonder why they would even make something like that for the general public. If you're a spy or something that's one thing but why the heck would anyone need a pin sized camera???? Yeah, I'm ready to go. It feels so great that you guys are saying you would have already left! I feel like I really gave it a good effort. I went to the authorities and was patient. I have never had to walk out on a lease before and I hope it doesn't doom me to the extended stay but I'd rather be safe in a transitional apartment that unsafe in a regular one.

Oh, and I did get a condescending vibe from that poster as well JanND. I think some people like to discount and maybe gaslight other people when they're in distress. I probably looked like a juicy target to aggravate further.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2012, 09:26 AM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,126,531 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ticatica View Post
Good Lord, I hadn't really thought of a camera. I doubt it since the wall looks okay, no little hole or anything. Ferretkona, I wonder why they would even make something like that for the general public. If you're a spy or something that's one thing but why the heck would anyone need a pin sized camera???? Yeah, I'm ready to go. It feels so great that you guys are saying you would have already left! I feel like I really gave it a good effort. I went to the authorities and was patient. I have never had to walk out on a lease before and I hope it doesn't doom me to the extended stay but I'd rather be safe in a transitional apartment that unsafe in a regular one.

Oh, and I did get a condescending vibe from that poster as well JanND. I think some people like to discount and maybe gaslight other people when they're in distress. I probably looked like a juicy target to aggravate further.
I think so too, some folks are just plain mean, and exercise that on an open forum liberally.

An attorney consult regarding this apartment, and their lack of doing anything to protect you would be beneficial. Most attorneys will give a free consult. I hope you can get one. They can really help line you out and guide you on documentation.
Heck, maybe you need to sue for all your pain and suffering, and the fact that you have to move. And also, they obviously knew there was a problem, they aren't admitting it. Would be a kicker if you could talk to these other women who had lived there??

I think if you document in writing everything you've done, and also put a letter together to your mgt, sort of a "follow-up" to your in person request for help making sure you mention..On this date when I asked in person for assistance with.....bla bla... ...everything dated etc.
Then if they attempt to go after you cause you broke your lease, you are prepared for the "why" in court...It may never come to that if you make it clear that you have tried to get the mgt to do something, and failing that........here is your notice.
And get out, nothing is worth the kind of crazy stuff you have experienced there. It is as repulsive as it is frightening.

Also, in the interest of protecting future renters...isn't there a forum or thread where you can list the things that you've experienced in that apartment complex??? Sort of a WARNING...If not, there should be.

Please be safe, and keep us posted.
And, an aside re; camera. Not sure how you would pin point it. Except, stand in the bathroom in the dark. At some point his light will go on...If there is a pin point hole, you may see his light through it. I would do that in every room that he has tracked you in.
Also, not sure if you know, those peep holes in doors serve the other side too, a person can see into them from outside....some folks may not be aware of that. Anyway, if you do find any sort of pin hole, where there could be a camera, you have got lots more to charge him w/. Be safe, Jan
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2012, 09:56 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,779,931 times
Reputation: 28030
One thing you can usually do if you have a major neighbor problem and your lease isn't near being up is ask management to move you to a different unit. Yes, you'd have the fuss of moving and you'd have to sign a new lease, but usually they'll move your deposit over, especially if they know you're moving because of a neighbor issue.

I moved two buildings away once, because of a nut who would jump up and down (he lived above me) all night while my husband was gone to work and who would pound on my door and throw rocks at it. His problem was that I quit babysitting his kids because I had to go back to work. I was dealing with some major identity theft issues at the time and my credit was not good enough to get another apartment in a different complex, so I just moved within the complex. We did it discreetly...drove the long way around the block and in through the back entrance with the uhaul so he didn't know we were nearby, went to the grocery store a few miles away instead of the closest one, etc...and I bought a gun and learned how to use it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2012, 09:59 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,779,931 times
Reputation: 28030
Also, with cameras...if there are no apartments above you, his apartment might have attic access and it would be easy to conceal cameras in air ducts. I don't think you'd see blinking lights or anything like that. If he was harassing the last two women who lived there, he might have had cameras in place for a long time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2012, 02:44 PM
 
Location: La Jolla, CA
7,284 posts, read 16,627,785 times
Reputation: 11675
Agree with Hedgehog_Mom. Unless your unit is the only one of its kind in the complex, there is hardly any reason not to let you move to another unit. Obviously it's not the property manager's responsibility to babysit residents, but they should be open to letting you move units.

The camera thing is interesting. I was thinking you could install a couple of cameras that captured activity around your front door, and on your deck, and perhaps in the house too. Being armed with that kind of thing would probably make your case to the property management, police, or both. I never considered that the person could have a camera or cameras in your unit, but they sure could. Keep in mind that small video cameras can work against you, but can work in your favor too .

If the property management won't let you move, I'd take the whole mess to an attorney and see what they can do. Also you may want to investigate your state's laws pertaining to stalking, and if you feel that you have a valid complaint, take it to the police as a stalking or harassment complaint instead of a noise complaint.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2012, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Earth Wanderer, longing for the stars.
12,406 posts, read 18,926,621 times
Reputation: 8910
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snort View Post
I use the "standard deviation" assessment of behavior when making a decision about what to do. If the behavior is within the realm of normal; just a bit obsessive or just a tad annoying, but not in the really weird category, I'd take it in stride.
The guy you're describing seems to be outside the "normal-range odd".
I'd get the heck out of Dodge.
Think of all the income being made, with these women forfeiting their deposits and moving. Could this be why the management of the building doesn't care?

After all, he could, at the very least, rent that space to guys, no?

I am almost wondering if he is just pocketing the deposits himself, and also, is this going on anywhere else in the complex?

These might be strange questions, but there is a reason why he is not trying to get the guy to leave. Maybe he is afraid of the nutcase, too?

Last edited by goldengrain; 01-28-2012 at 04:32 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > General Moving Issues
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top