Moving from a place we love? (packing, job, cheaper, more expensive)

[jdrlpc]

I know that this is an extremely personal decision, and one that we cannot make lightly. Still, I thought I'd ask for some advice from folks who really don't have any biases; maybe you can help us think up something we haven't already.

My husband was just offered a job across the country in a pretty cool place, somewhere I've never wanted to move though. He knows this, but this is the only place he's been offered a job. It's across the country from all of our family (who are at least within several hours driving distance) and many close friends (some are very close in proximity). The job pays more, has incredible benefits, and has room for advancement. He would have an hour commute and would likely work fairly long hours. Also, if he entered this job, we would likely be moving fairly regularly to advance in the company, all to less-than-desirable places.

We currently live in a place that we both love and in which we would love to raise our kids. We have a toddler and one baby on the way. The support of friends and family that I would have here when the new baby arrives would be invaluable. Our current home has excellent schools, weather, and great quality of life. His job here doesn't pay quite as much, has no benefits, and does not have direct avenues for advancement. It's much more self-directed. It's also becoming increasingly dangerous.

Do we pick up and move across the country in order to have more job security and potential to provide better for the material needs/wants of our family? Or, do we stick it out in a place we love, close to our support system, and try to make the job here work out? Thoughts?

[NDak15]

Unless you are going broke where you live I would say stay where you are. The move doesn't sound very appealing.

[Butterfly4u]

Jdrlp,
You do what you have to do for your children and your husband.
You know what you have to do, you just need others to confirm it.
You don't have benefits?
Your pregnant now? No health insurance?
I would be packing.
You have to take care of yourselves.
Are your loved ones going to pay your bills?

[tiluha]

Oh dear, what a tough choice! What does your gut/intuition tell you? Being close to loved ones and a support system is invaluable. Money and opportunity for growth or whatever financial perks that come with that job cannot replace all that you love and security you have in your current location. Quite frankly this job offer sounds "too good to be true" and we all know what that could mean...Talk to each other in depth before a decision is made, weigh all the pros and cons, listen to your intuition...Maybe you all could take a trip to the location, get a feel for the place...Hope this helps...Best of luck...

Originally Posted by jdrlpc

I know that this is an extremely personal decision, and one that we cannot make lightly. Still, I thought I'd ask for some advice from folks who really don't have any biases; maybe you can help us think up something we haven't already.

My husband was just offered a job across the country in a pretty cool place, somewhere I've never wanted to move though. He knows this, but this is the only place he's been offered a job. It's across the country from all of our family (who are at least within several hours driving distance) and many close friends (some are very close in proximity). The job pays more, has incredible benefits, and has room for advancement. He would have an hour commute and would likely work fairly long hours. Also, if he entered this job, we would likely be moving fairly regularly to advance in the company, all to less-than-desirable places.

We currently live in a place that we both love and in which we would love to raise our kids. We have a toddler and one baby on the way. The support of friends and family that I would have here when the new baby arrives would be invaluable. Our current home has excellent schools, weather, and great quality of life. His job here doesn't pay quite as much, has no benefits, and does not have direct avenues for advancement. It's much more self-directed. It's also becoming increasingly dangerous.

Do we pick up and move across the country in order to have more job security and potential to provide better for the material needs/wants of our family? Or, do we stick it out in a place we love, close to our support system, and try to make the job here work out? Thoughts?

[Dogmama50]

The increasing dangerous statement is worrisome. Do you mean his current job is physically dangerous and he has no medical benefits? Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but if that is the case I would seek out a new job. Moving across the country may or may not be the best solution, but a new job with benefits and a safe work place does seem in order.

[jdrlpc]

Thanks so much for your responses. They are helpful, and we have talked at length about our choices. We just haven't figured out what we want to do...

In regards to the medical benefits and insurance, we do have insurance, including maternity, in our current place. We just have to pay for it without help from the company. We are all covered; it's just expensive.

My husband's job is increasingly dangerous because it's very physically demanding, making it harder on his body as he gets older. He hopes to phase out of the dangerous work in the next few years, but he hasn't done that just yet. He will eventually take on more supervisor duties and less physical work at this job. The other job is little physical work.

[bouncethelight]

I would stay put and wait for the *next* job to come along. You have an offer on the table now, but you don't have to take it and most likely it won't be the only offer ever. Just wait for the next offer, or the one after, or the one after - and when you find one you like, then jump on it!

[kwalk65]

I think one of the biggest aspects of any long distance move is the understanding of what kind of support system do you have now that you will be leaving behind if you move? So often the discussion to leave an area is about better job prospects, cheaper cost of living....BUT a support system of friends and family should be part of the discussion too.

We overlooked that when we moved to North Carolina from California seven years ago, and looking back now I wished we would have added that to the equation in making our decision. BUT sometimes we have to leave something before we realize the important role it plays in our lives.

[DaniellaG]

You know my family member had to move his family because he got a job in another state. They loved where they were living and actually the move almost caused a divorce and the kids were so unhappy. The issue is he did not have a job there so a little different and there was no alternative so they moved. Well about a year later he had the opportunity to go back because of a job offer. They took a family vote and no one wanted to cause they love the new state. I know it could of went either way of course but if you decide to move that may be true for you. I think what helped them is to get real active in the new state meeting people,school activities,sports etc.
You have a lot more to look at because you have pros and cons of both.
I am not sure what state or your husbands job but what is the likely hood of another job offer coming? Long term if he does not get another offer will you be able to financially make it or will it be a struggle? In terms of family there are always visits which I know is different but do they help you with care? If so then that will be added expense. Lastly the new state is it more expensive then the one you are at? It is important to look at cost of living etc

[do_not_have_a_cow]

Live to work or work to live...I say stay where you are happy