tired of folks discouraging me from moving! (relocate, packing, jobs)
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Do your own thing. It can be hard to move away from family, but it is sometimes necessary. I had lots of people discourage me from moving even though I was flat broke where I lived before. I moved and those that were very bitter stayed bitter, and those who were most important to me got used to it.
how did you have the means to move if you were flat broke? good for you!
Move! Move now! Do it while you're young...you're not getting any younger. You will regret it and blame your family if you don't. They'll get over it. They can come visit, you can visit.
NOW is the time to put yourself first. Try your wings.
You can always move back one day. But do this NOW!!
Good luck!!!
Move! Move now! Do it while you're young...you're not getting any younger. You will regret it and blame your family if you don't. They'll get over it. They can come visit, you can visit.
NOW is the time to put yourself first. Try your wings.
You can always move back one day. But do this NOW!!
Good luck!!!
Thanks, southlander!!! I just wish i could find a way to afford breaking my lease so i dont have to wait til april 2013. Thats like another 9 mos
this is the time to plan and not even talk about it to relatives. the less you discuss it, the less they can break you down and take away your willpower and put doubt in your mind...so ignore the subject..what's there to talk about with people who are not backing your decision? It's your life, you are responsible for your own happiness and moving is not the end of the world...
I wholeheartedly agree with picklejuice. You have no idea how lucky you are to have a family that cares.
Like it or not your autumn years will depend on how you embrace your early years. If you fail to build family and friend relationships you will find yourself alone at a time when it is very difficult to make new friends.
Be grateful for what you have.
And all that depends on people who do nothing but try to keep you from exploring a different path? pfffft
'Family' can be comprised of more than just those people who share DNA markers. My mate and I made an effort to follow that philosophy, and have been fairly successful. When Spouse had a stroke, his hospital room had a constant flow of visitors who were not related by blood. I was flooded with care packages from those folks. His blood kin - the ones who carped at us for moving away and who constantly yammer at us "when are you going to move back home? .... now that you are thinking about retirement, I guess you are going to move back here, right?" Ha. I had to call them and give progress reports, they couldn't be arsed to show any concern by calling. After all, we moved away, it was our responsibility to keep them informed of our lives. They are nice enough people, I don't mean to give the impression that they are bad, but there is a selfishness in insulated clannishness. If you step outside that world, you have less value. Once you return, you are, of course, embraced.
There is an archaic tribalism going on among people who are against familial dispersement; it's kind of a throwback to when territories were best defended by the largest, strongest groups of people. They couldn't afford to lose members - it made them weaker. So the pressure was on to not allow members - especially blood kin - to leave. But this is the 21st century, not the 9th. That mode of living has no validity in this time, especially with our advance means of communication. The OP can live away from her kin without cutting off ties.
It's time you pay more attention to your needs and wants than your family's opinion of what is best for you. Our children all moved to other states, one is in the military so he is all over the place.
As parents we live our own lives, have our friends and extended family. We see our daughter and grandchildren quite often, but there are times we haven't seen one of our children for a year. We visit them when we can and talk on the phone, but they have their own lives.
Stop being concerned with what other people, including your family, think is best for you and move on.
I moved where I did not know anyone and had no relatives. I had been there for one summer. My wife (then fiancee) tagged along and she had only been there once for two days. It worked out ok.
We initially visited our families or they visited us frequently. After a while that slowed down and we missed seeing them, but it was not a problem for many many years.
Being young and free of responsibilities and obligations, we made friends very fast. Joining a church really helped, especially when we had kids. An older couple with kids but no grandkids adopted us as surrogate grandparnts for our kids and they would take them when we went on vacation etc.
After a time, we grew concerned that our kids id not really know their real grandparents aunt and uncles, so we moved back. However for the first 10-15 years, it was great living there and we did not have to much problems. It is even easier now when you can skype your relatives every day if you like.
I do regret depriving my parents of the joy of the baby and child phase of their grandkids. For that reason I often wish we had moved back earlier. My wife said she missed having the family support system (church friends helped make up for that but not entirely.)
When you are young, go for it. Howevr when you have kids, I would suggest seriously considering moving back near family, even if it will be devastating to your career. You will recover your career eventually, you will never recover lost time with parents and siblings.
I moved where I did not know anyone and had no relatives. I had been there for one summer. My wife (then fiancee) tagged along and she had only been there once for two days. It worked out ok.
We initially visited our families or they visited us frequently. After a while that slowed down and we missed seeing them, but it was not a problem for many many years.
Being young and free of responsibilities and obligations, we made friends very fast. Joining a church really helped, especially when we had kids. An older couple with kids but no grandkids adopted us as surrogate grandparnts for our kids and they would take them when we went on vacation etc.
After a time, we grew concerned that our kids id not really know their real grandparents aunt and uncles, so we moved back. However for the first 10-15 years, it was great living there and we did not have to much problems. It is even easier now when you can skype your relatives every day if you like.
I do regret depriving my parents of the joy of the baby and child phase of their grandkids. For that reason I often wish we had moved back earlier. My wife said she missed having the family support system (church friends helped make up for that but not entirely.)
When you are young, go for it. Howevr when you have kids, I would suggest seriously considering moving back near family, even if it will be devastating to your career. You will recover your career eventually, you will never recover lost time with parents and siblings.
This is spot on and good advice! Raising children is super tough these days, and going it alone without a support of people who REALLY care will make it almost impossible (to do right). Not to mention, the bonding time with children is when they are newbies. The bonding has to take place early on> for both the young and old alike. Without proper bonding, loyalty, love, support, on going communication will be minimal at best.
You have to decide if your need for autonomy is really worth risking the future family bonds.
P.S. Remember this: you can always travel to anywhere you wish on vacations, etc.!
the point of parenting in the end is to raise a child that will be independent and go out and live their life to the fullest. a parent should not hold their child back, make them feel guilty about not spending time with them.
sometimes parents make noise that you live too far away, yet when you do live close they can't be bother to come see you in your home they expect you to always come see them. if your family can't put themselves out to come see you then they don't really need to see you that often, they are satisfied when you are the one that goes to the trouble to see them. if they miss you that much they will come see you no matter where you live, be it 2 miles away or 2,000. with communications these days even our military in a war zone are able to talk with their family members.
I lost my MOM 3 years ago and NEVER would have moved away from her. I have no regrets either. Family won't always be around and when they're gone, you'll miss them...Believe me, I moved across country after my MOM died and I wish I was still back home....There's NO place like home...I miss my family terribly!
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