Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It sounds like you are going about making the move the right way (with a plan). Since it's important to you, keep trying and it will happen! Good luck!
I'm Not trying to be rude, but no doubt it will come off that way. So, I apologize in advance for being blunt.
An anonymous online forum is not the place to get this HUGE decision resolved for you and your family. Especially when you have some serious health issues and two little kids.
Have you discussed your continued depression with your dictor? Have you considered talking to a counselor? Moving to a different climate, environment, living in the sunshine and getting a new job may be great for you - but remember, wherever you run, you take yourself with you.
Take care of YOURSELF, then mdo some research, then do Moe research, then make a plan.
As I read through the responses, these were my thoughts also. You really need to sort out what is making you unhappy and not only look at the negatives but seriously consider your lose of the positives. Many people find it VERY difficult to be away from family. We have lived in AZ and I warn you to do your research very carefully because it is a different culture there. When it is hot, it is hot if you are in the southern part of the state and in the north, when it is cold, it is cold. The humidity during the monsoons is terrible and nighttime temps often don't get below the mid-80's so plan to spend a lot of time inside and summers start very early. I love southern AZ but it is an adjustment. You just absolutely need to discuss this with someone that can help you sort out the real issues and it concerns me that you are concentrating on your life being cut short because with those thoughts looming, I don't see you being happy and content really anywhere because I just don't think can place can deliver what you are needing with those looming thoughts. If you have an Employee Assistance Program, I would advise making an appointment and letting them help you troubleshoot your situation.
Hi, I hear your point. Not to worry on the mental health front. I actually went to graduate school for Clinical Psychology so I'm very familiar with depression, anxiety, etc. and I know what warning signs to look for. I've also had anxiety disorder as a teenager as well. I think my unhappiness is as others have suggested, a seasonal affective disorder. I also admit that I am upset about my health issues. I have even asked myself, "am I generally unhappy due to my illnesses and being a full time mother of young twins and working fulltime, and am I using moving as an escape from my sadness?" The answer I come back to it that no, it can't just be that because I have wanted to get the heck out of MD since I was 21, which was actually the happiest time in my life, before I had health issues and kids. My husband and I also were seeing a marriage counselor last year and he advised us that we should go for it, since it is something we both want. In summary, I have spoke with mental health professionals about my issues/concerns. I guess I posted about this on this forum since I felt it was relevant, and is likely a question a lot of young people with children ask themselves before making a major move.
I think you may have the wrong impression of AZ especially in the metro areas. Know that pollution was bad when we were in the Tucson area 12 years ago yet it was better there than the Phoenix area. If you looking for slow-paced, I suggest the SE corner of AZ. When you take away the humidity, the dust is really bad so make sure you are all OK with dust and also, they have imported all kinds of plants and grasses there so the old no pollen could not be further from the truth. I wonder also if you have compared the crime rates and you can do this on the front page of city-data, just go to the bottom and click on the state and it will bring up lists of cities in that state by sizes, like a breakdown of 3.
What about the family you will leave behind? Will you and/or your family be able to visit one another that often if you are that far apart? I think the biggest issue that I have seen with moves like this is missing the extended family. Also, will you and your family be able to enjoy the types of activities in AZ that you now enjoy. Keep in mind that when temps exceed 100 degrees, you don't go outside very much. We lived 10 minutes from the grocery store and still couldn't get home before the ice cream melted - think Schwann's delivery. We like ice cream so that was important.
List the positives and the negatives, do this together with your husband keeping in mind what needs the children will have as they age.
And, yes, you can certainly end up broke when you make a major move (we saw more than one family who flopped in AZ but a couple that did their homework and turned it into their dreams) so if you don't have rich relatives to help out and bring you and yours home, suggest as someone else did that you have probably a year's income worth of savings. Beware of buying a house as there are a lot of foreclosures in AZ.
And, lastly, I have yet to move to a place or travel to one where the photos match the reality and this really applies to real estate. I told one real estate agent, after seeing a property, that I would like them to use that camera to take our family photo! We would look amazing!
Do your research and if you haven't posted under locations you are considering to get more info on above to get the real scoop, that would probably be a good idea.
Good luck and I surely hope you find something that works out. We currently live in the worst ever location for me and we have a prospective buyer so just don't end up like me, I posted under the thread "Did You Ever Move Somewhere Where Everything Went Wrong" or words to that effect!
Hi, I hear your point. Not to worry on the mental health front. I actually went to graduate school for Clinical Psychology so I'm very familiar with depression, anxiety, etc. and I know what warning signs to look for. I've also had anxiety disorder as a teenager as well. I think my unhappiness is as others have suggested, a seasonal affective disorder. I also admit that I am upset about my health issues. I have even asked myself, "am I generally unhappy due to my illnesses and being a full time mother of young twins and working fulltime, and am I using moving as an escape from my sadness?" The answer I come back to it that no, it can't just be that because I have wanted to get the heck out of MD since I was 21, which was actually the happiest time in my life, before I had health issues and kids. My husband and I also were seeing a marriage counselor last year and he advised us that we should go for it, since it is something we both want. In summary, I have spoke with mental health professionals about my issues/concerns. I guess I posted about this on this forum since I felt it was relevant, and is likely a question a lot of young people with children ask themselves before making a major move.
FL is great. I live in the Tampa area. Its hard to be depressed with all the sunshine - but it is also very humid & sweaty.
Personally. I wouldn't move. I'd be too afraid... but that's no way to live. My kids are 2nd & 4th grade - and they are so comfy w/ thier school/neighbors/friends they have known basically their whole lives. Much harder to relocate now than it would have been as toddlers.
I have neighbors who moved down here from boston - and hate it but refuse to move back. Husband had to take a significant pay cut resulting in a smaller home. Wife went from salaried position to an hourly position. They say the cut in salary was way worse than the drop in cost of living.
I however, also think that you regret what you don't do way more than what you did and regret (in a situation like this- going for what you want and not letting the fear stop you). So if you bomb out? At least you gave it a run which is way better than being 47 saying I wish I had...
Acknowledge the risk and accept that the move will be less than perfect.
I can't believe some of the advice you're getting.
Everyone is saying "put the family first"...well making sure Mom is happy and healthy as possible IS putting the family first.
OP...go. Run. Do it now, don't wait. Sell your house and move, or rent your house out and move, but for goodness sake, if you keep on feeling so stressed and miserable with your life you will start having physical symptoms, and with your pre-existing illnesses this can only be bad news.
Please put your health first, your family need you happy and healthy not six feet under. The side effects of prolonged stress can be horrendous, as can Seasonal Affective Disorder, which it sounds like you have.
Also, kids are not the fragile little bundles people seem to believe. They are hardy little things who manage to cope (and thrive) with all sorts of change, if they have a happy strong loving mum.
You'll need to have a TON of cash/savings if you move to the keys.
While it's a beautiful place you're either SUPER rich or dirt poor there.
(It's heaven for alcoholics/drug addicts/people on the run from the law.)
I'm not trying to be pessimistic, but the Keys are not as they seem... as far as living there.
Great place to visit though.
I don't know what you do, how much you make and what type of savings you have or how much you can sell your house for, but you shouldn't be this unhappy, especially if you are young. Move! I mean maybe don't blindly run away, but there is no reason why you and your husband can't make it in a small town somewhere where it's sunny and warm. Sell your house and start over the kids will be ok if you make sure that you take care of getting a job/housing.
I can't believe some of the advice you're getting.
Everyone is saying "put the family first"...well making sure Mom is happy and healthy as possible IS putting the family first.
OP...go. Run. Do it now, don't wait. Sell your house and move, or rent your house out and move, but for goodness sake, if you keep on feeling so stressed and miserable with your life you will start having physical symptoms, and with your pre-existing illnesses this can only be bad news.
Please put your health first, your family need you happy and healthy not six feet under. The side effects of prolonged stress can be horrendous, as can Seasonal Affective Disorder, which it sounds like you have.
Also, kids are not the fragile little bundles people seem to believe. They are hardy little things who manage to cope (and thrive) with all sorts of change, if they have a happy strong loving mum.
^^^^ This times 1000. Your kids are young and they are very resilient. Kids adapt very well. Don't wait another minute. Do what is best for you, your health and your family. I will be doing the same thing as soon as I am able. I am moving out west with three kids ages 11, 8 and 2 1/2. Being where I am is making me physically sick, the stress, etc is not good for you. Please stay healthy and get happy. Good luck. You only live once.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We currently live in the worst ever location for me and we have a prospective buyer so just don't end up like me, I posted under the thread "Did You Ever Move Somewhere Where Everything Went Wrong" or words to that effect!
the kids will be ok if you make sure that you take care of getting a job/housing.
