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Old 07-29-2012, 11:11 PM
 
5 posts, read 38,054 times
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my husband got an offer for us to move to TX. (I hate hot/humid weather) He makes a good living here. They are offering a 40% increase in his salery. He has also been told that if he does well, he would be up for a promotion. I do not want to leave family, I love OH weather, etc. Why does it have to be tx! Plus, we are about to move to our dream town. ??????
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Old 07-30-2012, 05:02 AM
 
4,096 posts, read 11,418,829 times
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More a relationship issue about long term goals than a moving issue. Moving is not the problem. Lack of communication, compromise, etc. are the issues.

My husband had a horrid job and earned more than the mayor with double and triple time. He suddenly got a job in Indiana (from Alaska where I had lived all my life and swore I would never move) and we moved in 45 days. I did it for him. We always talked about the issue and I knew we could stay, but it was more important to him at that time to move.

It was hard, very hard. I now had hot and humid weather and sun for most of the year. I had a much larger office to have to work with and I knew no one. Cried a lot that first 6 months. We have now been here 35 years and are much more comfortable than if we had stayed in Alaska. We could have moved back at any time but things just got better and better here. I still dont like the weather in the summer but hibernate then.
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Old 07-30-2012, 09:36 AM
 
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smj3aa,

I agree with sweetana that it's all about long-term goals. We've done so many corporate relocations I can barely count including some in the same metropolitan area to reduce commutes. 9 states. The first move was an important one career-wise. One other move was important to get into the best school district. All of the other moves were unecessary and counter-productive. Establishing a home base with a sense of community roots is more important than we think (or tend to value) when we're young. With or without children, community involvement and a strong social network are keys to happiness/well-being, and there a few recent studies that clearly indicate their importance. That's my 2 cents. Talk to your DH about what you both want in your future -- and how this move advances or detracts from those goals. Hope it helps. Good luck!
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Old 07-30-2012, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Not where I want to be.
1,189 posts, read 1,751,718 times
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All about compromise and communication. The offer sounds too good to pass up IMO. I would try it out for a couple of years and see if you like it. I too hate hot, humid weather, but if my husband was offered such an amazing job, I would be packing up and moving. I hear Texas is amazing and beautiful, we have friends there that wanted to live in Colorado, but the offer came in from there instead, so they grabbed it and they are so glad they did. From what I understand the cost of living is pretty decent and you can get alot of square footage for not alot of money. Our friends had a large home built and it cost about half of what it would be around here.

Good luck to you and your family...and just remember, you can always move back if you both are that unhappy. And you can always visit your family. We are planning amove across the country away from family and I cannot wait. Its not that I don't love my family, but my dream ahs been to live on the west coast for my whole life and thankfully my husband has the same dream. Thats what planes are for. Look at it as an adventure.
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Old 07-30-2012, 10:19 AM
 
11,523 posts, read 14,563,266 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smj3aaa View Post
my husband got an offer for us to move to TX. (I hate hot/humid weather) He makes a good living here. They are offering a 40% increase in his salery. He has also been told that if he does well, he would be up for a promotion. I do not want to leave family, I love OH weather, etc. Why does it have to be tx! Plus, we are about to move to our dream town. ??????

I empathize with you. Hope it works out for you.
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Old 07-30-2012, 10:41 AM
 
Location: On The Road Full Time RVing
2,341 posts, read 3,478,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smj3aaa View Post
my husband got an offer for us to move to TX. (I hate hot/humid weather) He makes a good living here. They are offering a 40% increase in his salery. He has also been told that if he does well, he would be up for a promotion. I do not want to leave family, I love OH weather, etc. Why does it have to be tx! Plus, we are about to move to our dream town. ??????

What does your husband want to do ? ? ?
.
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:07 AM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 24,917,855 times
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Others have nailed it: this is about long term goals. He wants to advance, and you want to stay near family where life is comfortable.

If you have a strong marriage and he is the major breadwinner, and he wants to move, you need to try to do this. You didn't say where in TX you would move, but if Dallas, Ft. Worth or Austin, you would be OK, I think. There are plenty of suburbs and small towns to choose from. If Houston, then I'm not as enthusiastic.

If you are planning to educate your children, have a nice retirement, give to charity, etc. I think you need to grab this opportunity to allow him to advance. If your marriage is shaky, then I don't know. Work this through together. You have to decide if your financial future is important enough to you to move.

You are a big girl now. Ohio isn't paradise; Texas isn't hell.
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Old 07-31-2012, 07:46 AM
 
18,837 posts, read 37,201,329 times
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My husband was military. We moved. I knew it was part of the deal when we got married. You decide....make it work or be miserable about it. If living where you are is so important...tell him to sacrifice his career for you or file for divorce. Isn't that what you want?
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Old 07-31-2012, 08:53 AM
 
Location: On The Road Full Time RVing
2,341 posts, read 3,478,927 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
My husband was military. We moved. I knew it was part of the deal when we got married. You decide....make it work or be miserable about it. If living where you are is so important...tell him to sacrifice his career for you or file for divorce. Isn't that what you want?
Divorce is not the answer ! ! !
.
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Old 07-31-2012, 09:35 AM
 
452 posts, read 894,249 times
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I can empathisize with you on this situation. We have moved quite a few times and are now living in TX. It sounds like you have quite a bit on your plate in OH. I am going to try to give you some help on this situation.
Pros to living in TX:
No Snow but when it gets cold here it gets cold not the kind of cold in OH but a damp cold it chills to the bone but does not last as long as in OH depending on what part you are in.
No State taxes.
More sun all the time.
Cons:
TX depending on where you live is hot and humid and you have to watch out for the sun. Closer to the equator means more sun and sun damage if you stay out too long.
Items get worn out faster-here in TX the people are roofing their houses after 10 years with 20 year shingles?
Property tax is high-check into that before moving!!!!!

We have moved several times and I do not regret it or would change it since it made me a stronger person. Key word stronger person. There is no one to rely on as far as family (if someone gets there is no one to help)and if my husband or I want to go out we have to pay a babysitter. This gets very costly and also the cost of traveling to see family or when there is a death in the family. I am encountering all of these this past year. The vacation time is being used for family time and there is no time to go see grandparents so I am taking the kids via train shortly prior to school starting. Husband cannot come due to vacation time is going to be used up due to a death in the family this past year and other commitments.

The extra 40% increase in pay needs to be looked at in several ways for you and husband to go out depending on kids ages how much more for babysitter? Cost of traveling back to see family not including his vacation time and yours? Cost of buying/selling a house with closing costs and moving costs? If you are working will you be able to transfer your job or will you lose income on that?Advancement in a career is great but there are pros and cons to all and weigh them out. Check out the healthcare with new company compared to old company. How stable is new company in TX?

I do not know your situation, however, we have moved several times with the same thoughts of making more money, however, if we would have stayed in OH our house 12 years ago is now valued at over $100,000 what we purchased. I do have to say I do not know if all the stress was worth this for my husband's new title and being over 24 hours away from family. If you do move make sure you get skype for family and yourself this way you can stay in touch.

Ultimately the decision is up to you. Don't look back at what if because there are way too many variables in this life and enjoy whatever life gives you and take it as a new opportunity to make new friends and broaden your horizons.
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