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We did this once. Hubby took a different position within the company and we relocated to an area with a much higher cost of living and stressful lifestyle - and I was against it from the start. We were happy and doing very well where we currently were at that time and I didn't see any benefit to moving. It wasn't even a move up the ladder for him career-wise, it was just something different (he gets bored easily with his job). In fact, all I saw were troubles. Anyway - it was a hard time.
Bottom line, though - I love my husband. I want him to be happy, and I know him. I know that he's the sort of person that when he sets his mind to something, there's really no talking him out of it. That's why we are married, actually, but that's a whole 'nother story! Anyway - so we moved, and I tried to make the best of it.
And what happened? The shiny carrot that tempted him to the new state/town/position within the company turned out to be rotten and within a year he took his old job back and we went right back to where we were before - happy and home. AND my hubby realized what a great place this is - he had to leave it to realize how good we have it here. I already knew, but he had to figure it out for himself. Now he knows, there's no doubt in his mind, and he's ready to finally settle. He's been offered several other opportunities - even one in Hawaii and one in Alaska - since, but he's turned them down. Perhaps in the future once the kids are grown we'll pack it up and try a new place again (we both have a bit of gypsy in us), but for now we know where home is.
2. You move and make his life miserable, blaming him for your unhappiness that you choose rather than trying to make it work.
3. You force him to give up an opportunity and he might resent it -- or you might regret it if anything doesn't work with his current job.
4. You tell him to go on because he isn't as important to you as your family and old friends; that you have no interest in trying out something new; and you can stay home and stagnate.
Personally, I'm for option 1. I did it. I had a 1.5 yr old baby, had given up college to support his college; and then he decided he wanted us to move 4 states away. I knew no one. But I did it. I made wonderful friends that I'm still in touch with and we keep in touch and visit a few times a year and my grandchildren are still there. The marriage didn't last, but I gave it all I had. Now we are facing retirement and we decided to move halfway across the country because it's an opportunity to live a comfortable life not worrying about finances. We will come back and visit friends and family and they will come and stay with us. I never regretted any of my moves because I put everything into fitting into the new community as quickly as possible.
It's all in how you look at it: the worst thing or an adventure. Just think of the life experiences you will gain, even if you don't wind up staying in the new area. You can always go back.
The cost of the move if the company is not moving you? Could run quite a bit if you are not selling everything.
Selling the house and paying the fees-then paying for fees when you move here.
The medical insurance is it comparable to what you have now or better? Exclusions (pregnancy, well child care, etc?)even if you do not have children at this time. The cost to the employee compared to the cost of what you have to pay now?
The cost of having a comparable house? The property tax is 3.5% not including mud tax where we are located in TX. This amounts to $7000.00 a year in property tax on a $200,000.00 house which is considerable amount more than state tax in OH and is not based on what you make but the cost of the property which is determined by government.
The cost of a babysitter going out if children involved is approximately $100 month and this is conservative for a budget.
The cost to travel in airfare is approx $2000 for a family of 4 not including car rental if you want to do something without having to ask permission to use someone's car. This is from TX to Ohio with non stop unless you want to do non stop then you can get pretty good bargains. Most of our vacation time was spent traveling to family because we did stop on the way so it took us 2 days driving and over 24 hours in the car not including stops for restrooms and eating.
Look at the how long the company has been doing business and do a little internet search to see if they are having problems.
I hope this helps. I have moved too many times just to say it is additional 40% increase but look at the whole picture and if it works then go and do not look back with any regrets.
Texas is home for us now and hopefully will be where we retire and I lived in Ohio for more than half my life. Good Luck!
I lived in the Cincinnati area for a couple of years (albeit immediately on the Kentucky side) and traveled well into Ohio fairly often. Very nice area, but while I met a lot of nice people there, the collective vibe was honestly "off."
I'd much rather live in Texas than Ohio for a myriad of reasons. Comparable COL, higher overall QOL, friendlier people, nicer scenery (really!), diverse cities, and that unique Texas pride. In fact, if I wasn't living in California, I might be living in Texas.
Where on earth do you get some of your figures from? $100 for babysitting per month? That's got to be something around 5 times a month going out? If they can afford to go out that often - movie/dinner and spend $100 min, then the extra $10/20 for babysitting isn't going to matter. Good grief, $100 per month?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3a's
Look at it all not just what I listed:
The cost of the move if the company is not moving you? Could run quite a bit if you are not selling everything.
Selling the house and paying the fees-then paying for fees when you move here.
The medical insurance is it comparable to what you have now or better? Exclusions (pregnancy, well child care, etc?)even if you do not have children at this time. The cost to the employee compared to the cost of what you have to pay now?
The cost of having a comparable house? The property tax is 3.5% not including mud tax where we are located in TX. This amounts to $7000.00 a year in property tax on a $200,000.00 house which is considerable amount more than state tax in OH and is not based on what you make but the cost of the property which is determined by government.
The cost of a babysitter going out if children involved is approximately $100 month and this is conservative for a budget.
The cost to travel in airfare is approx $2000 for a family of 4 not including car rental if you want to do something without having to ask permission to use someone's car. This is from TX to Ohio with non stop unless you want to do non stop then you can get pretty good bargains. Most of our vacation time was spent traveling to family because we did stop on the way so it took us 2 days driving and over 24 hours in the car not including stops for restrooms and eating.
Look at the how long the company has been doing business and do a little internet search to see if they are having problems.
I hope this helps. I have moved too many times just to say it is additional 40% increase but look at the whole picture and if it works then go and do not look back with any regrets.
Texas is home for us now and hopefully will be where we retire and I lived in Ohio for more than half my life. Good Luck!
Personally, I'm for option 1. I did it. I had a 1.5 yr old baby, had given up college to support his college; and then he decided he wanted us to move 4 states away. I knew no one. But I did it. I made wonderful friends that I'm still in touch with and we keep in touch and visit a few times a year and my grandchildren are still there. The marriage didn't last, but I gave it all I had. Now we are facing retirement and we decided to move halfway across the country because it's an opportunity to live a comfortable life not worrying about finances. We will come back and visit friends and family and they will come and stay with us. I never regretted any of my moves because I put everything into fitting into the new community as quickly as possible.
It's all in how you look at it: the worst thing or an adventure. Just think of the life experiences you will gain, even if you don't wind up staying in the new area. You can always go back.
The marriage didn't work, but you and him decide to retire together?
my husband got an offer for us to move to TX. (I hate hot/humid weather) He makes a good living here. They are offering a 40% increase in his salery. He has also been told that if he does well, he would be up for a promotion. I do not want to leave family, I love OH weather, etc. Why does it have to be tx! Plus, we are about to move to our dream town. ??????
I believe somewhere in your wedding vows the words "to honor and obey till death do you part" were said and agreed to. You are......wife. That means you are bound by your husbands choices.
So either you meant what you said when you took your wedding vows or you didn't. You don't get to "customize" them after you're married.
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Anyway - so we moved, and I tried to make the best of it.
