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I know of one family, where the husband was offerred a fantastic job, and his wife said, "no go"...she had done her time in the boonies...and was done with it, no matter what her husband was offerred to stay there...he realized that three years, as a stay at home Mom, in the middle of nowhere, with no job opportunities for her, was her limit. They moved. And lived happily ever after.
It is not so much, who moves for what that drives a couple to move, decisions are based on values, and now...career, whoever is making the most money, wins...
My BIL moved to his wife's home state so she could be closer to her family.
I've been working on my husband since before we married to move to my home state, as I really do not like it here (never have, I got stuck out here with my mom), but met hubby and stayed. Oh the things we do for love!
He had me thinking we were moving up north twice before, even had a job lined up and savings for the cost of moving, but he backed out both times. He still says he would like to move to Oregon, but somehow I just don't believe it anymore and have resigned myself to just seeing my home state and family once a year or less, depending on our finances.
When DH and I got married, we agreed that we preferred the West (where we had both lived separately) to the SouthEast where we were both born and where we ended up. Family problems and other lifestyle changes kept us there for over 20 years.
So 8 years ago I told him I was going to start looking for the farm we'd always promised each other we'd move to out West. He shrugged. "All I want is snow". So I looked for 3 years online, every week, at all sorts of places. Finally found six to look at. He didn't want to go! My daughter and I went instead. We found the place we were looking for, I signed the paperwork and started the process, went back to the South and started the process of selling off the business and house, arranging for movers, etc. He kept refusing to go - until my BF told him - "Are you CRAZY? If you don't go with her, she'll divorce you - and I WILL go! This is PERFECT!" So DH came, grumbling all the way. Grumbled the first six months. Got his shop built and his 4-wheeler and the animals to take care of, made new friends, started repairing the old farmhouse and barns, and doing what he does best. Now he won't even hear about moving back South!
My hubs did for me. My job moved, he took the opportunity to return to grad school and now he studies and monitors the teenager while I for the first time in our marriage (25 years) am the majority bread winner.
My husband is about to move for me for the third time. He moved to the West Coast to marry me. Then we moved to NC so we could buy land and have horses. Now we're moving to the PNW, this time because I want to be closer to family and I can't take the NC heat.
There are plenty of threads on the boards with women upset over their husbands wanting to move for a job. There's usually post after post of "just do it", "he's your husband", "you love him, don't you?", "go and make the best of it". Mostly advice to be supportive and make the sacrifice for your husband. For such a "free society" as ours, we don't preach "obedience" to our husbands like they used to back in the day, but we have the same result. It's like now women are told to do everything for the sake of "love". It still ends up controlling women more than it controls men. So MEN, how many of you moved long term for your wife?
There is not enough prozac in the world to resolve your issues.
This is a moving forum. Please find yourself a 'crazy feminist' forum to spill your bile. There are many to choose from.
I did. I reluctantly went and matter of fact i was very upset for 6 months. Eventually, i came to realize the move was for the best but like i said it did take awhile.
DH moved here for me. When he was offered several transfer opportunities, I did not want to move, so we have stayed. Since I am planning on retiring this year, we might end up moving somewhere else, but he really seems to like this area.
Biggest mistake I ever made...go to my death bed over this.....
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LOL
