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I relocated to Dallas from Chicago about 2 months ago. I am currently visiting back home for a week. I don't know if I'm just idealizing this place or what, but I really do miss it here. My main problem when living here was that I was miserable with my job and couldn't find any other options out of it. Also, I hated the winters here. Now that I'm back home it's beautiful weather (it's still summer!), and I am not thinking about work at all. It's amazing how much happier I am when I don't associate this place with work! I'm spending time with friends and family and hitting up all my favorite food spots that I've missed while I was down in Dallas. I guess it's essentially me being on vacation. The recent time I spent here makes me not want to go back down to Dallas. I mean, I was fine when I was in Dallas. We settled into our little routines, but it's nothing like what I have out here. I'm thinking this trip may make my homesickness worse when I go back to Dallas compared to if I never came back to visit at all.
Anyone else experience this? When do you eventually get to the point where you can say your life in your new city is better than your old one?
My day to day work life is better in Dallas than it was here. I don't work nearly as much and have a more steady schedule. My husband is there and we get to spend a lot more time together since I can coordinate my days off with his. He gets paid more there. We can get a much nicer home there. The winter is warmer there. Things I don't like about it are the lack of family and friends, the lack of diversity compared to here (not many Filipinos and it's hard to find certain grocery items) and also the lack of my favorite restaurants (have yet to find many places we would consider good enough to frequent). People seem to be nice, but I just don't find this suitable to be my permanent home. Then again, I've only been here a few months. Any advice?
You hit the nail on the head, "vacation". I love vacations. I don't work, just relax and enjoy myself. And your job in Texas allows you to have funds for going home and having a vacation. Think back to how miserable you were when you wanted out. That should be your memory.
I relocated to Dallas from Chicago about 2 months ago. I am currently visiting back home for a week. I don't know if I'm just idealizing this place or what, but I really do miss it here. My main problem when living here was that I was miserable with my job and couldn't find any other options out of it. Also, I hated the winters here. Now that I'm back home it's beautiful weather (it's still summer!), and I am not thinking about work at all. It's amazing how much happier I am when I don't associate this place with work! I'm spending time with friends and family and hitting up all my favorite food spots that I've missed while I was down in Dallas. I guess it's essentially me being on vacation. The recent time I spent here makes me not want to go back down to Dallas. I mean, I was fine when I was in Dallas. We settled into our little routines, but it's nothing like what I have out here. I'm thinking this trip may make my homesickness worse when I go back to Dallas compared to if I never came back to visit at all.
Anyone else experience this? When do you eventually get to the point where you can say your life in your new city is better than your old one?
My day to day work life is better in Dallas than it was here. I don't work nearly as much and have a more steady schedule. My husband is there and we get to spend a lot more time together since I can coordinate my days off with his. He gets paid more there. We can get a much nicer home there. The winter is warmer there. Things I don't like about it are the lack of family and friends, the lack of diversity compared to here (not many Filipinos and it's hard to find certain grocery items) and also the lack of my favorite restaurants (have yet to find many places we would consider good enough to frequent). People seem to be nice, but I just don't find this suitable to be my permanent home. Then again, I've only been here a few months. Any advice?
Yes, every time I visit a place I once lived, I miss it (well, except for two cities). I think the reason is that I'm notorious for remembering the good and for minimizing or forgetting the bad. I do this with men, too. Perhaps you're the same way.
A tip a friend once gave me when I was a teen so that I'd stop re-dating the same boy that wasn't good for me was, make a written list (it has to be written or you will forget things later) of all the reasons you're leaving so later on when you begin to question your decision you can look back to your list. I was shocked that it worked. Perhaps it would be helpful for you in this situation, too.
I also think it takes way more than a few months to settle into a new city, though. My theory is that you have to give it at least two years to just get settled in. If by year five you still hate it, well, you'll probably never like it (that's my opinion, any way). I remember living in cities and thinking, "Oh, I know this place. What more can there be to learn?" until I fast forward a couple years and look back at that first year or two and realize how little I knew then. It also takes more than a few months to develop new social bonds, strong ones worth sticking around for.
Or, you may realize that the reasons you left your old city weren't solid ones or things that can be easily changed (like a job) and you'll want to return.
Either way, I wish you luck in finding your happy place.
Last edited by SunnyTXsmile; 08-22-2012 at 07:24 AM..
I'd suggest a week-long "vacation" to Chicago in January. That might help you like Dallas better.
Actually, it is VERY typical to miss the familiarity and routine of where you used to live, even if it wasn't that good. What you are experiencing now is (as odd as it might sound) a grieving process. It's pretty normal.
I'd suggest a week-long "vacation" to Chicago in January. That might help you like Dallas better.
Actually, it is VERY typical to miss the familiarity and routine of where you used to live, even if it wasn't that good. What you are experiencing now is (as odd as it might sound) a grieving process. It's pretty normal.
When do you eventually get to the point where you can say your life in your new city is better than your old one?
That's gonna have more to do with why that someone went to the new place.
Too many and especially younger or desperate people feel a need to escape city X...
and will move to city Y without a really good reason to go there (or anywhere else).
There is a lot of this going on now with the bad economy and poor job situation.
If the relocation was well considered and is actually about going TO something rather than AWAY
from something... then odds are they'll find their place and comfort in the new town soon enough.
That's gonna have more to do with why that someone went to the new place.
Too many and especially younger or desperate people feel a need to escape city X...
and will move to city Y without a really good reason to go there (or anywhere else).
There is a lot of this going on now with the bad economy and poor job situation.
If the relocation was well considered and is actually about going TO something rather than AWAY
from something... then odds are they'll find their place and comfort in the new town soon enough.
I think that's very well said. Good advice.
One thing, though... one can go TO something rather than AWAY from something and still deeply miss the things you had to leave behind in order to go TO something. How capable you are of handling the things you miss about your old city determines how quickly you'll adapt to your new surroundings.
I moved from Milwaukee to South Florida 16 years ago.
The biggest reason for the move was my hatred of dark, cold, winters.
Every time I go back to Milwaukee/Wisconsin to visit, I don't want to return to Florida.
I'm actually debating moving back to Milwaukee because I've now realized there's more to life than the weather ie family, friends, a sense of community, folks with morals....
Best of luck!
I moved from my childhood home outside of Houston for the first time four years ago and visited only for vacations, and no, I don't miss it. I miss my family, I miss my mom's cooking, I even miss my cramped bedroom sometimes, but I do not miss the city by a longshot.
I miss the familiar places, where I grew up, and knowing where things are...and the happy memories I had in some of those places. But, I would not want to live there, for many reasons. And cost of living, is one of them.
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