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I've been cruising through many a thread and when it comes to relocation, one thing I've noticed is that many posters will respond to a "wish list" about moving with a reponse of "Too many contradictions"; "does not exist"; "need to reconsider"; etc, etc. So, my question is this:
Has anyone found their Utopia?
For myself, I don't know where my Utopia would be. I want to leave my birthstate but I can't decide between mountains and plains. I don't know enough to know if there is a somewhere in-between in any state because, aside from a few Vegas trips, I have never been outside of California (and California holds no appeal for me. I may have been born here but it doesn't feel like home anymore).
So for those of you lucky enough to have found your Utopia, did it take long? For those who have found something close to it, were there some trade-offs that you had to accept?
I've noticed is that many posters will respond to a "wish list" about moving with a response of
"Too many contradictions"; "does not exist"; "need to reconsider"; etc, etc.
Has anyone found their Utopia?
No. Because it doesn't exist.
This why using a term like "utopia" to describe the goal is unrealistic.
Quote:
For those who have found something close to it, were there some trade-offs that you had to accept?
Of course they have.
Which things they can value highly will depend on what they already have vs what the need to accumulate or earn while in this new place. For most that is focused around what their work options are.
What tradeoffs do YOU think will be needed?
Try to find the most options.
I have, for me, a small town. No place to go spend money. The town rolls up at 8:00 pm, one bar, the VFW. This place is good for me. Others, would go crazy here. Housing is okay, the job is stable, winter comes and goes, no problem. I will be here forever. No plans on moving from Montana.
Utopia is not a place it's a state of mind. I currently live in a place I love and know that I am lucky to be able to live here. Should our circumstances change and we move away I will still find things to love about the new place, change is inevitable in my life and happiness is within me.
I have never been outside of California (and California holds no appeal for me. I may have been born here but it doesn't feel like home anymore).
I can totally relate to this as a native of SoCal who has always hated it here. For me, any time I have lived/traveled out of the state it has felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders...there's a whole world out there, and even though it may not be Utopia, it is very different from California...almost anywhere you go....you will experience a refreshing change, trust me. I am on my way out of here once again, this time I hope never to return.
The frustrating thing about wanting out of California, is that you will get zero sympathy/encouragement both from your friends/family here and from outsiders who wished they lived here. It's an over-hyped, desirable area with supposedly "perfect" weather. But if it's not right for you, it's simply not right FOR YOU. So ignore everyone and do what you want. For some of us, California feels very toxic.
I can totally relate to this as a native of SoCal who has always hated it here. For me, any time I have lived/traveled out of the state it has felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders...there's a whole world out there, and even though it may not be Utopia, it is very different from California...almost anywhere you go....you will experience a refreshing change, trust me. I am on my way out of here once again, this time I hope never to return.
The frustrating thing about wanting out of California, is that you will get zero sympathy/encouragement both from your friends/family here and from outsiders who wished they lived here. It's an over-hyped, desirable area with supposedly "perfect" weather. But if it's not right for you, it's simply not right FOR YOU. So ignore everyone and do what you want. For some of us, California feels very toxic.
LOL, It's kind of funny you mentioned this because I was born in the boring old Midwest (Ohio) and I've always said I should have been born in Southern California. I love the sun and the sand and I have that laid-back, Southern California type of personality. However, as I've gotten older, I have learned to appreciate the Midwest a lot more. I love the change of seasons, where as in your neck of the woods, it's pretty much sunny and warm every day of the year. I used to yearn for that type of weather, but after thinking about it more, I think it would in some odd way, get kind of boring after a while. The change of seasons keeps things interesting here and there's nothing better than watching the leaves turn in the Fall here in the Midwest. It's a gorgeous site to see. Also, it just wouldn't feel like Christmas in an area where it's sunny and 75 on Christmas day. That just wouldn't feel right to me. So although I still want to visit California, I don't really want to live there anymore like I used to.
I found as close to a utopia as I will ever get. The wages are good and keep up with the cost of living, there are outdoor activities aplenty, and the people here are down to earth and real. I didn't really trade anything for this.
The frustrating thing about wanting out of California, is that you will get zero sympathy/encouragement both from your friends/family here and from outsiders who wished they lived here. It's an over-hyped, desirable area with supposedly "perfect" weather. But if it's not right for you, it's simply not right FOR YOU. So ignore everyone and do what you want. For some of us, California feels very toxic.
I have a "love hate" relationship with California, I love it there, but I hate the traffic, the crowds, the fact that I was always in my car, driving all over to go places. So, I go there, and love it, but at the same time, hate it. So, it is better not to live there. Plus, on my salary, I would be living in the ghetto anyway.
17 years ago I moved from Milwaukee to South Florida.
I'm now seriously debating moving back to the frozen tundra.
I've learned there's more to life than good weather.
Living among decent people is now a priority.
(I'm certainly not saying everyone down here's a scammer.)
I can totally relate to this as a native of SoCal who has always hated it here. For me, any time I have lived/traveled out of the state it has felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders...there's a whole world out there, and even though it may not be Utopia, it is very different from California...almost anywhere you go....you will experience a refreshing change, trust me. I am on my way out of here once again, this time I hope never to return.
The frustrating thing about wanting out of California, is that you will get zero sympathy/encouragement both from your friends/family here and from outsiders who wished they lived here. It's an over-hyped, desirable area with supposedly "perfect" weather. But if it's not right for you, it's simply not right FOR YOU. So ignore everyone and do what you want. For some of us, California feels very toxic.
I know what you mean. Leaving Phoenix, ditto. I must have at least 5 people/day ask me why I would move from there to here! Well, Phoenix got very S. Californianish over the years and was called "poor man's South California." I liked the non-argumentative vibe, open-mindedness, health conscious vibe, but some of the other things I didn't take to as well. GOod luck to where you move!
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I don't know enough to know if there is a somewhere in-between in any state because, aside from a few Vegas trips, I have never been outside of California (and California holds no appeal for me. I may have been born here but it doesn't feel like home anymore). 
