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I recently 6 months ago, moved from Midwest to San Diego. Was always a dream to move here after a month long vacation 10 years ago. Thought moving my teenager with me during the summer before her freshman year was a grand idea. We both just wanted a new start, we both agreed to the move at the time but......
Well now it's been 6 months, we are adjusting, each of us making friends, and being involved (me with work and social) (her with social, school, and sports). Yet every night we look at eachother and say "vacations over when are we going home?"
Despite the perks of the weather, we absolutely HATE it here. We hate the traffic, the shopping, the prices, the beach, the people, the programs (from what we're accustomed to: sports, school).
Most people say give it a year or two, but I find it harder and harder to even pretend to like it here. If we moved we would move right back to where we came from and lived all of our lives. It's almost like we appreciate what we left behind more now that reality hit us in the face.
Any advice, or is it to soon to form an opinion? I know when you buy a car you know whether or not you like it during the test drive. When you have kids it's an automatic life long adjustment. When your dating you know within the first 6-9 months if you want to spend the rest of your life with a person. Why wait 1-2 years and waste time when we know we are just Midwestern girls.
Please provide opinion, if I didn't want I wouldn't have posted on forum.
If i were you and you have the resources i would move back home
The Midwest isnt the most exciting area on the planet.
But as the old saying goes what is nice to visit may not be nice to live in.
The Midwest's welcome home hospitality is unbeatable and it feels well just right at home.
If you dont want to move back to your same hometown then i would suggest looking at other Midwestern cities like Indianapolis or Fort Wayne etc.
We both just wanted a new start, we both agreed to the move at the time but......
...we are adjusting, each of us making friends, and being involved...
Despite the perks of the weather, we absolutely HATE it here.
Please provide opinion
Relationships? Boyfriends?
Something more than just work, school and each other?
Thank you for your reply. My biggest regret is knowing that my daughter would flurish in her last three years of high school if she were back home. I don't want her to miss out on all the excitement during these years. Starting over she has already missed out on homecoming (she was asked but didn't want to fall into the wrong crowd so she declined), going to football games with friends, and hanging out after school. I agree the Midwesterners are very friendly. Here we are trying to keep up with "commercial California" we moved to an area that had the best rated school district and with that came a lot of the $.
She is used to walking around with friends and hanging out in basements. Here kids are shuttled around on party buses, limos, and parties in rented country clubs. She even had me pick her up after 45 min on one of these "party buses" due to the use of drugs and inappropriate behavior. Kids don't walk around here because of the high traffic and the distance to get places.
I can work anywhere, work is work. I'm in the medical field so finding a job isn't a huge concern. So far most all the friends and family are really supportive and are already with open arms back home. Family here in CA are thinking we are jumping the gun. I can't keep up with the Jones' never really wanted to, just didn't realize how snotty, fast paced, and inconsiderate people are here. I feel I made a HUGE mistake, I know it's a lot of hassle and $ moving back and forth, but now we know....we came we tried and it's just not for us. Now we will never move forward and say "what if".
I've started applying back in the Midwest, talked with my rental property on the hit I would take on a broken lease, and already weighing my moving options. I guess fate will lead us in the right direction.
I'm kinda in the same boat here. I moved from San Diego to Colorado 3 months ago. For me, San Diego was way too expensive to live in, even though I am making what I feel is good money, though that was only affording me a dump in La Mesa. We were barely getting by, it seemed there was less and less money at the end of every month. The weather was nice most of the time, we found free things to do-which wasn't much, and having grown up in the East County, we felt like "home". My job was almost ultra-secure, and I was looking at another raise come review time.
We moved to Colorado to be close to my family, my mother in particular who is struggling in alot of ways, and to lower our cost of living. I had to promoise my wife, who wasn't really on board with moving, that we would only be out here for 3-5 yrs, save money for a house, and move back to CA, most likely the Moreno Valley, or Hemet. 3 months later, I'm borderline out of a job because even though I am still with the same company, the particular location I'm at is light years behind what I left in San Diego in every single way, and I'm not able to adjust to a 1990's-run facility. I'm used to up to date and current practices, it really goes against my training, experience, and in some cases, ethics. It doesn't help that there is a huge "good ol' boy" network in that building, and a heavy anti-California vibe. So, this CA boy, who was looking at a promotion and a good raise next year, chose to move to be close to his ailing mother and now is hanging by a thread at work because I can't fit in with outdated procedures/operations and cronyism.
I do like the weather here, the scenery is better than San Diego-especially the night sky and expansiveness in areas-and the cost of living is much better here. It's the people who can't compete with the visuals here, and that's a shame. I don't want to even think about it, but if things get worse out here-meaning I end up getting fired, I will use up my 401(k) to move back to San Diego if I have to and worry endlessly about my mom....
"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard, because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with." -L. Frank Baum
Different places, different values. I would just go back. You're only to get more bitter towards the consumerism, I grew up on Long Island, always hated it, my parents didn't buy into it, it just gets worse the older you get. Then your daughter will probably go to college "back home" and you'll be stuck there completely alone.
HUGE mistake to move before freshman year ... move back while her friends still remember her and haven't changed, as so often happens in high school.
If you're unhappy then you're unhappy. It sounds like you have a lot of legit reasons why you don't like the new place. If you are miserable then go back home. At least you can say you gave it a shot, right?
OP, I moved to South Florida from the midwest in '95.
For the same reasons you don't like SD, I don't like it here.
I'm debating my return to the midwest next year.
If you're not happy, I say go back.
Life's too short and there's much more to life than the weather.
Best of luck!
I've lived in SD for alot of years and it isn't for everyone. My experience is you will pretty much know right away if a place is right for you or not, trust your (motherly) instincts and move back home. Personally, I would never want to raise a child here.
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To move or not to move back....
