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Just wondering. We are going to relocate from the West Coast to the East Coast. This has been a dream for us for a long time and our only family is there. My husband was born in PA but moved here (Orange County CA) as a child, I was born and raised in So. Cal. but I did not grow up in the area we live in now but it is only about 20 miles from where I spent my childhood.
I have never moved out of the state though and wonder, how long does it take for it to feel like home? Or will it always feel like we are just visiting? We are moving our kids and I would like to make this as easy as possible for them. When we they feel comfortable in a new place?
That's an interesting question. I've moved from West Coast to East Coast a few times and though each time almost felt like home, I never stayed long enough to really develop that feeling further. However, I am in your shoes and want to be back east again. The housing prices are so much more affordable than the West Coast.
I guess when you have finally started settling in and acclimating to your new surroundings, you may start to feel like this is it for you, that you've made the right choice. It's not a feeling that will come automatically. It might take a while before you start saying you are home instead of referring to So Cal as your home. My husband Charlie and I are here in Arizona (just relocated from CA in April) and we've made some friends so far. We've been here six months but do not refer to AZ as "home". CA is still home. Until we find another place to call "home", CA is going to be it for us. The same might happen to you until you feel like you are at home in your new location.
Your kids might have an easier adjustment especially if they make friends in the neighborhood or at school. Just make sure to continue demonstrating the positive aspect of your move to your children, make them feel secure as to why you moved to your new place. Security is a big thing with children.
We, like you, relocated from OC to TX where my husband is from, about three years ago. I had lived in OC from 6th grade and my children were born there too.
For about the first year I kept saying "home" meaning CA. Little by little I became more comfortable driving, more comfortable with the different stores, schools, etc. Now I can honestly say that this is home and I really would never move back. Once your kids make friends and you get involved in their activities you will begin to feel "at home" but give yourself time to adjust.....it does not happen overnight:-)
I've moved many times throughout my lifetime and am getting ready for our "last" move after I retire at the end of the year.....I remember crying and talking to my Mom about places not "feeling" like home....Mom said "you know your comfortable and you'll know your home when you can walk all through your house at night in the dark and not run into anything"
It is like anything else, each person adjusts in their own time. I have currently lived here in Tucson for almost 30 years and STILL call "home" Michigan! Just remember, home is where your heart is......get involved, you'll be "home" in no time!!
Best of luck on this new journey in your life, I wish you much happiness!!
Being a retired military spouse I can relate...for me and thats only me,
it takes ME about 3-4 yrs to actually aclimate,adjust and relax. I know
that seems extreme but true. Funny thing is when I was finally getting
used to one place, it was time to move. Now that we are
retired, it took me 5 yrs(yes five) to get over our last assignment in
New Mexico and get used to Ca.(our homestate) but it happened and
we feel good,(finally)
I think you have a home where you are and a home of your heart. If you're lucky, they're one and the same. Sometimes, obligations call us to one place when we'd rather be in another. In general, the quicker we acclimate, the happier we are. It's possible to be happy anywhere, if we make up our mind to be. Good luck!
Just wondering. We are going to relocate from the West Coast to the East Coast. This has been a dream for us for a long time and our only family is there. My husband was born in PA but moved here (Orange County CA) as a child, I was born and raised in So. Cal. but I did not grow up in the area we live in now but it is only about 20 miles from where I spent my childhood.
I have never moved out of the state though and wonder, how long does it take for it to feel like home? Or will it always feel like we are just visiting? We are moving our kids and I would like to make this as easy as possible for them. When we they feel comfortable in a new place?
Give yourself time & give your kids time. It is not going to happen overnight. It may take a year or two. May take more. May take less. Kids are more versatile than adults but some take moves harder than others.
Your kids are going to feel comfortable based on how you handle the move. There are tons of resources out there with ideas of how to handle transition with kids. Get them involved in the things they like in CA in your new city. Get into a routine as soon as you can.
Since you are moving near family, that is going to help; especially for the kids.
You are not going to feel so alone.
I am a military brat, and my husband says that is has carried over to my adult life. Every three years the moving bell goes off, LOL. Really, it takes me about a year to feel comfortable, and another year to feel like home. I can consider it home, when someone tells me where they live, and I know how to get there with shortcuts and not having to use the map book. You really need to get through that first year when nothing is comfortable, you don't have routines, and you don't feel like you have a good support system under you.
Its all about making friends. Once you have friends you can call, have a drink with, meet for coffee, go to the gym with, whatever, it will feel like home. But you have to put forth the effort to make that happen, and give yourself a little time.
I love all positive comments. It's what I go to this board for and it always makes me feel better about our move. I don't ever worry for myself as much as I worry about my kids and how they will adjust to a new culture. I guess I want them to feel comfortable from the get go but we all know that won't happen. I know it will take time but I wish it weren't so. We are leaving this state because it is just not affordable for a family of six but we will miss the friendships we have established over the years. I guess it is time to climb outside the box and go after new friendships as much as it scares me crazy.
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