Anybody ever move somewhere and regretted it? What did you do? (renting, cheaper)
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A lot of Montana moves in here. Add me to that fray. I moved to Butte Montana after my father passed away. It was a mistake for so many reasons but I wasn't thinking clearly. I don't like small towns. I grew up in the country and hated it. So it was only a matter of time before I woke up one morning going, where the @$#!%$ am I? Nothing to do in that town. On Friday nights I'd walk into town and it was just dead. Saturday's dead. What few woman in the 21-40 age range in that town I ran into all seemed to be married. I was climbing the walls. I lasted a few months till I had enough cash to get out of town and then I bailed.
Dude, if you hate it that much (and think that DFW is going to be that much better) then don't wait a year or two. Just start looking for opportunities to move now.
I moved somewhere where I hated for college. I moved to the woods of New Hampshire because I got into an ivy league school that I applied for on a whim, and thought it would be cool to go. I was a little uneasy about the prospects of being so far away from anything (and it's not like I even came from a big city) but ready for a new adventure. It couldn't have been a worse fit. After two years I knew I had to get out, but my Dad (who is very much an academic...and was footing my bill) threatened to cut me off if I transferred anywhere else. So I stuck it out for two more years...and ended up completely losing my sanity. The small town, the stuffy attitudes, the feeling that you can't go anywhere without so many people knowing every step of your way, the sub-freezing winters, mudseason the rest of the year, the lack of almost any kind of amenities, the isolation from everything--it left me a changed person and not for the better. I should have taken my Dad's offer. Once I left it took years to recover.
I've heard the "it's not the place, it's the person" line countless times...and it's BS. I came in with a very open mind and left wrecked. The wrong place can do that to you. You can't find what you need where it doesn't exist. Lots of people liked it there, but not every place is going to work for every person.
The one important thing that I learned from this, more than from any class I took, is to NEVER let myself live somewhere that's not right for me ever again, for any reason. NEVER. Even if family's there. Even if jobs are there. Even if I have to give up everything and anything. Even if I have to be homeless (which thankfully hasn't happened.) But just knowing that I'm willing to do anything to make it not happen again, makes me realize I don't need to worry.
I moved to California upon graduation and never looked back. My family, like many others, fell prey to the media's portrayal of California being a disaster state, broke, on fire, etc and too expensive to live. They're trying to get me to consider moving elsewhere. Closer to them, or not, as long as it's not in CA, and I need to "open up my options". (Ironic since they've lived in their respective towns longer than I've lived here. ) They don't have to like it (but, they visit me every winter...again, ) but I know that I've found my place.
God....bless you, I love what you have written.....only you and I are flip side.....I came to CA 10 yrs ago...from greater Boston area.....although not born there...I am a Bostonian (via NY). East is East and West is West and never the two shall meet.
I find inspiration from what you have written, as I am going back to New England at all costs (actually have family there)....IF I feel the same after 10 yrs, there must be a reason...I am willing to sacrifice everything to go back....I would even live in New Hampshire (a state that I LOVE and that you HATE),,,,,my kids hate it tooo...my EX is there, I Love New Hampshire...best state in the Union as far as I am concerned.
BUT, this is not about pitting states against each other, it is about.....what you did...telling everyone you did not care about their view points...you were looking for the right place for you.....good luck and hope you find your own personal Nirvana......mine is New England......
Location: NYC based - Used to Live in Philly - Transplant from Miami
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Moving to Philadelphia from Miami for job and significant other.
I end up single now, and hating my job.
But there is no way for me to go back to miami because there is not too many engineering job down there. While in PA, technically I can apply for jobs in NJ, NY and DE (and of course PA). So I am staying here.
And I am not a big fan of cold weather.
Give me 90 degree summer in Philly, I can sleep at night with no AC. Give me cold winter like right now, I put my heater all the way up to 80s (and still wear 3 layers of jackets at home and electric blanket).
I stumbled upon this post while looking into moving company options, but I'm so glad I found it because it makes me feel better reading that others are or have been in a similar situation.
We moved from FL to the Seattle, WA area in September of last year (voluntary job transfer) and we are unhappy living in WA. While we don't regret moving from FL because we were both ready for a change, my husband and I agree that WA is not the place for us. It only took a few months of living here for us to realize, too.
Thankfully, we are just renting a place here in WA and my husband and I both work in healthcare so it makes it a little easier for us to relocate again because there are job opportunities for us all over. It sure is disappointing though to move somewhere with big hopes and expectations and then to quickly realize that it's not the right place for you.
Sometimes, we just have to make the best of a circumstance but if there is the option to change it, I think it's just better to take the plunge and try to make a change for the better.
I have a friend who moved for a job...and it has become a nightmare. She spent a lot of money on this move. It has become career "suicide". And now she might lose the job, and she bought a condo...
I stumbled upon this post while looking into moving company options, but I'm so glad I found it because it makes me feel better reading that others are or have been in a similar situation.
We moved from FL to the Seattle, WA area in September of last year (voluntary job transfer) and we are unhappy living in WA. While we don't regret moving from FL because we were both ready for a change, my husband and I agree that WA is not the place for us. It only took a few months of living here for us to realize, too.
Thankfully, we are just renting a place here in WA and my husband and I both work in healthcare so it makes it a little easier for us to relocate again because there are job opportunities for us all over. It sure is disappointing though to move somewhere with big hopes and expectations and then to quickly realize that it's not the right place for you.
Sometimes, we just have to make the best of a circumstance but if there is the option to change it, I think it's just better to take the plunge and try to make a change for the better.
This last summer, I ended up in Oklahoma City after three years of dead-end job searching in Charlotte. I loved living in Charlotte, I liked everything about the city. It just kind of fit me. Unfortunately, after three years I couldn't find anything more than a telemarketing job, so I had to do something. My parents had been pressuring me the entire time I was in Charlotte to move back home to Arkansas. Rural Arkansas isn't for me, so I decided to compromise with them and job search in Tulsa and OKC. I ended up finding a very good job in OKC very quickly, which I am thankful to have, but much of me really regrets leaving Charlotte, a place I loved so much. I could really rip OKC in this thread but I am not going to do it. Let me just say it doesn't match up when compared to other cities its size or even smaller. If you are over age 19 or 20 and not married yet you stick out like a sore thumb (In Charlotte it was not uncommon to wait until late 20s/early 30s for marriage). The culture here is such that I really don't have any options other than to spend all my free time alone, drinking, in my apartment. If I don't do something, this place is going to turn me into an alcoholic.
My plan right now is to work here another year or two and then try to get a job transfer or simply move. I didn't want to have to move again and am not looking forward to it, but it will probably be necessary for my sanity. A lot of OKC homers boost the city as being an up and coming place and great city to move to, and it may one day be, but its not there yet, and is a LONG ways from "there." I'll probably try to make the move down to Dallas or Houston by the time I'm 30.
My huge regret is letting my family convince me to settle for Oklahoma, and thinking it would come close to matching up to what I had in Charlotte. I didn't have a choice but to leave Charlotte for economic reasons, but I could have probably found a job in DFW, of course against my family's advice, and moved there instead. Has anybody else ever made a move that was unwise and regretted it? What did you end up doing about it?
I made the mistake of moving from TX to NC...I was forced to stay for 2 years before I could get the he$@ out of there. Find a hobby/interest that keeps you busy. We started with martial arts and that kept us busy 3-4h every day...so basically school/work, gym, sleep...repeat for 2 years.
Many of us can relate to this situation, as I spent two years living somewhere I disliked due to family influence. My husband and I moved from TN to WI, and regretted it the entire time. We moved back to TN about 1 year ago, and we are much more content.
My family was disappointed that we moved back, since they all live in WI and MI, but they understood. Save your money and do what makes you happy.
--it left me a changed person and not for the better. I should have taken my Dad's offer. Once I left it took years to recover.
I've heard the "it's not the place, it's the person" line countless times...and it's BS. I came in with a very open mind and left wrecked. The wrong place can do that to you. You can't find what you need where it doesn't exist. Lots of people liked it there, but not every place is going to work for every person.
Lord almighty can I get an A-MEN?
Those irritating little epithets used at the most to corral a gypsy soul, or at the very least attempt to jam that square peg into the round hole, make me NUTS. Along with "bloom where you are planted" and "I make do!" Those are my husband's favorite lines.
You know what? A rose can't bloom in a nuclear dump and making do = systematically lowering your expectations and your standards so that you don't lose your mind. Neither of which are acceptable options as far as I'm concerned.
As for what I did about it? I have railed against this place for over 8 years to no avail, because the people who are here with me (husb, mother) are so trapped and imprisoned by their routines and their personal anti-change policy that the concept of moving is almost as far-fetched to them now as setting themselves on fire with a handful of rockets and hoping to reach the moon.
So as Radical stated - DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU. It changes you as a person, and I don't know me anymore.
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