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I'm attempting to move to a major city that's about 5 or 6 hours away. I'm not saying which one because I don't want to risk being identified in person, but I will say that it is one of the top 20 most populated in the country.
My situation is this: I'm taking the "move first then find a job" route because I'm young (age 25) and for the most part, I'm only qualified for entry-level work as of yet, and people on this site say that companies usually don't hire from out of state if you're applying for entry-level positions. So I'm I'm looking for a place to live, which will give me a local address. I have a part time job now that I would be leaving in order to make the move, and by the time I plan to move, I'll have saved up a little over $4,000.
So far I've been looking for inexpensive rooms/sublets. I'm trying to keep it $400 a month or lower, a rate which would give me about 6 months' housing, groceries and public transportation costs for that time frame. The problem is that I am an extremely socially awkward individual. I have no close friends, and people are almost always visibly uncomfortable when they talk with me or when they're in my presence. As a result, my visits to over 10 rooms in the city I want to live in, and occasional follow-ups, have resulted in exactly zero room offers after many weeks in spite of these facts: 1.) the leases to these places were either short-term (3 months in some cases) or non-existent, 2.) I had proof that I could pay the rent and utilities, 3.) I had references and ways of proving that I was trustworthy enough of a person to be offered the room, 4.) Our interests and hobbies were compatible, and 5.) I'm available to move in on the dates they specified.
During the visits, the landlords and tenants all had that uncomfortable look about them. Some of them even looked like they were wincing a little when they looked at me as they were telling me about the room and common areas. I wasn't dressed outrageously or saying anything offensive, but my more "mundane" behaviors might have been awkward at times. I've been battling this for years to no avail. So to sum it up, I'm having a very hard time finding a room, even one in a shady area of the city. It can seem discouraging when even the slum lords are turning you down.
I guess I'm wondering how I should go about making this move in light of the challenges I've been facing. Hotels will clean me out money-wise in a few months' time. I don't have any family in the city I'll be moving to, nor do I have any friends who I can stay with (socially awkward, remember?). On the brighter side, I have a good amount of work experience, and my employers would likely give a positive review of my performance. I have also lived far away from family before, so I'm familiar with how I would need to adjust. Should I just get a hotel room and eat the cost while I look for a job?
Thanks for any help...
Last edited by Classics152; 05-11-2013 at 11:26 PM..
I am sorry you are struggling. In the area you are wanting to move have you research cost of living in general and the pay plus demand of the job you are interested in? In most major cities a hotel nightly will be very expensive even on the outer areas and to me your housing budget for the month would be used in less then a week.
When you have applied for the room rentals may I ask how you respond and act to them? Do you try to make small chat and ask the person what they do for a living,how long they have lived there,if it is a nice area? Maybe if you try making small chat and smile it could help? Does the social awkward issue prevent you from finding a job as well?
I am sorry you are struggling. In the area you are wanting to move have you research cost of living in general and the pay plus demand of the job you are interested in? In most major cities a hotel nightly will be very expensive even on the outer areas and to me your housing budget for the month would be used in less then a week.
When you have applied for the room rentals may I ask how you respond and act to them? Do you try to make small chat and ask the person what they do for a living,how long they have lived there,if it is a nice area? Maybe if you try making small chat and smile it could help? Does the social awkward issue prevent you from finding a job as well?
Hi, I don't really know how to describe it. In e-mails I introduce and describe myself in the first paragraph, mention that I'm capable of paying the rent, say when I'm interested in moving in, and tell them to have a nice day. Then they e-mail back asking when I can come see the place, and I answer. I go to see the place, and that's when I mention that I plan on moving there without a job lined up. I can see how that would be unattractive to a landlord, but apparently other people do the same thing and have success.
There's an obvious conflict here that I'm trying to work around: getting a place requires a job (so say the landlords), but getting a job requires a place (so say the employers). You can't have one without the other, or so it seems. But apparently there are these people out there who move far away to new cities without a job waiting for them, and they are successful in getting rooms and jobs. I want to become one of those people. The very fact that there are people who are successful in doing this is what leads me to believe that my problem is the social awkwardness- however, I could be mistaken about that. I'm honestly not sure. I'm going off of a hunch.
Have you thought of offering a larger amount for security deposit or even lets say 3 months in advance since you are not employed? Make sure though you get a receipt and also if a private rental such as a condo that they own it is not in foreclosure.
As for your social issue I would think even aside from the moving issue that in life you want to work on this aspect. Have you looked into therapy or even online forums where you can get support and advice on how to get to a better place? You know I have an uncle who is very book smart but socially is not. When I see him it is very hard to carry on a conversation but he has gotten better then he was where even now he will ask me about what is going on in my life. This was not the case before. I think he started to try things socially whether it be a hobby or group. I encourage you to maybe look into that as well.
Good luck
You very well may be a responsible individual and a good tenant; however, LLs don't know that - they only know that you will not have a job lined up before you move. Being a LL is a business, they must be as careful as possible when screening a prospective tenant.
Maybe you'd have better luck if you were to rent out a room in someone's house on a month-to-month basis.
I am going to highly recommend (yet again) www.airbnb.com. You can find monthly rentals on there and just contact the owner letting them know your plans. The website is based on reviews, and it'll be a little easier since most people who open their homes to people are more welcoming of people who come from different backgrounds. I'm not sure where you're staying, but I was able to find a room in Portland for one month at $487.00, and it included all utilities and fees. Also, you can find places to stay for as low as $20.00 a night if push comes to shove. NEVER stay at a hotel. I considered going to Extended Stay, but then I started looking around and realized I could just rent rooms for shorter periods.
Also, if you stay in places like that, it'll get you out of your shell, and you'll be able to meet people who are wonderful. It is really difficult for me to make friends, and I was able to make some great connections with people in the short time I stayed with them.
Also, I don't think you want to live with people who are going to treat you differently just for being socially awkward. I am extremely introverted and awkward, and it actually made it worse for me when I lived with people who would sometimes "bring out" my awkward tendencies, even if it was unintentionally. I think sometimes you need both time and exposure. Expose yourself to situations that make you uncomfortable/awkward (or make other people a little uncomfortable) and realize that the worst someone could say is no.
Katie, I agree about the landlords. I would be renting a room to start off, that has been my plan from the beginning.
Drunkwithwords, thanks for the site recommendation, I'm finding it quite useful. Most of the places on there are way outside my budget, but I'm e-mailing some of the people with cheaper places right now.
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