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I am from CT and my husband works in the NY area. He has a successful career and his salary most likely wouldn't be matched in any of the states we'd love to move to (N.C, T.N. or S.C.)
I've been reading these forums for years, I have realtors in North Carolina and Tennessee that send me homes daily via email. I'm in a constant state of daydreaming yet as time goes on, I'm realizing we're never getting out of here.
I guess I just wanted to vent and see if there was anyone out there like me. Who researches places, reads forums, compares the property taxes etc only to be disappointed that this will never happen.
Or if you just did something crazy and decided to seek out employment elsewhere even though you have a great job. (When I say great I mean his pay and benefits, it's actual very stressful and he'd leave it if he could)
Well, I'm doing exactly that early next year. It has been a year and a half and one voice tells me no you should stay because you make such great money, and the other, louder voice says nope...I'm tired of this job, this town, everything. I don't care as long as I can afford to live and I know I will eventually move up the ladder and make more after being there a while.
Sometimes you have to change your priorities to be truly happy.
Why can't you move? Your husband won't make as much in those states because he won't need to. Moving isn't always the easiest thing in the world, but where there's a will there is definitely a way.
OP: While you are looking at real estate in NC, TN or SC, start looking for jobs that your husband qualifies for. Show him the job listings that you find. He just might get motivated to start looking/applying.
I say, "Follow your heart." Life is short. I don't know how old the two of you are, but working at a job that he detests only makes life seem slow, because he is so miserable, when in fact, life is passing him by - passing both of you by. Enjoy life and each other while you can.
I think having less stress is well worth a cut in pay, but that's just me. I'm low maintenance.
Just be sure that it's his dream as well as yours. It can be very disheartening to have the person that's most important to you say over and over, "Yeah, I want to go," when really they don't want to go.
OP: While you are looking at real estate in NC, TN or SC, start looking for jobs that your husband qualifies for. Show him the job listings that you find. He just might get motivated to start looking/applying.
I say, "Follow your heart." Life is short. I don't know how old the two of you are, but working at a job that he detests only makes life seem slow, because he is so miserable, when in fact, life is passing him by - passing both of you by. Enjoy life and each other while you can.
I think having less stress is well worth a cut in pay, but that's just me. I'm low maintenance.
Just be sure that it's his dream as well as yours. It can be very disheartening to have the person that's most important to you say over and over, "Yeah, I want to go," when really they don't want to go.
All good thoughts, thank you. We just turned 40. We've been talking about this since 2000! Our son will be graduating high school in 2014 and our younger daughters are game for a move. They are 13&10.
So, at this point the ideal would be summer 2014. We have a lot to think about. Another thing that anchored us here is my side of the family ( my parents and maternal grandparents) are extremely unsupportive of anyone moving from where they grew up. They think it's selfish. Finally, I feel confident enough to deal with the backlash that would be coming our way if we do this. Luckily my husband's parents are supportive and are already living much of the time in FL and they hate CT ( for retirement)
Thanks again
We were once in your shoes. We did choose financial stability. My late husband died of cancer at age 50. We were on a very solid savings track to fund our retirement at age 55. So I was a widow with enough money to fund ventures we had dreamed about together and the lucky one to find another spouse who believes in living in the now. And my lovely sweet man was the workhorse with no end reward. Many regrets about this every day....
When we were busy raising our family and pursuing our careers we dreamed of moving someplace warm and sunny and did a lot of research and exploratory trips. This really helped us enjoy where we lived while preparing for something better. We retired, relocated, and are enjoying life. I wish we could've gotten here sooner, but that just wasn't practical for us. Life's all about choices and adaptation. Best wishes.
Why can't you move? Your husband won't make as much in those states because he won't need to. Moving isn't always the easiest thing in the world, but where there's a will there is definitely a way.
I agree. We have been moving for 30 years to different places and it is wonderful. We were trapped in the last place a little too long but will make up for it with our current move. I agree it is about priorities. Those lower paying jobs come with a lower cost of living. I cannot believe how many people feel that money is the most important thing in their lives. Saving for a retirement that they may never see. I had a co-worker who criticized me because we were taking vacations to Disney World with the kids instead of saving that money for retirement. She and her husband were saving every penny they could and depriving themselves of what others considered necessities so they could travel after retirement. I learned that she died at age 55 a few years ago on her way to work. Life is short. Like Mrs. Phipps, my kindergarten teacher, said "Can't never got anything done." and she was in my school for the next 7 years ending up as principal so I heard this more than once. You really cannot gain without taking some risk and I guess that is the difference between "dreamers" and "doers", being able to step up and take a little risk to go for it, quality of life.
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