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That is a good idea but I still feel that there should have been some discussion of this already after my lengthy explanation of the situation with him. I feel that this should have already come up in form or another. But still a good idea and worth considering. Thanks.
I have a dilemma - my lease is currently up at the end of the month and am currently unemployed. Recently, my job prospects have improved and have several potential job opportunities which could lead to a new job in the next month.
My original plan was to go back to California at the end of the month and stay with family where rent is free and continue my job search. But now that things are looking promising (at least for the moment), I am reconsidering my decision. I would hate to leave only to return in a month's time to start a new job.
I have a friend who has asked how he can help me several times. He fully understands my dilemma and has the means to invite me to stay with him but hasn't. I am considering just coming out and asking if I could stay with him for 2 weeks to a month at most but am reluctant to do so. My feeling is that "help" can mean many things and can just be a polite way of being supportive w/o actually offering any real assistance. I feel that given he knows my situation, he would have just asked if I wanted to stay with him. Being that he hasn't tells me that is an option that's not on the table.
Should I just ask? Or should I just figure something else out? I hate asking and know that will put him in an uncomfortable position should he not want to have me stay with him. But he has offered to help but who knows what that means. I still feel that he would have offered given that I have explained my predicament to him.
If you care about keeping this friendship do not ask to stay with them.
Tell them you are moving back to California because of your current situation and if they happen to offer their place to you, please thank them for their generosity but gracefully decline because you do not want to burden them and you prefer to pay your own way.
I wish you luck with your job search and pending move.
Yeah, I've been as clear as day with him about my situation. I have a feeling he just doesn't want to make the offer. I think his request to help is just a nice way to seem concerned but is still an empty offer. That's OK, I'll just head back to California. I hate asking for this kind of help - and some posters are right, if we were good friends, I wouldn't even have to ask.
Possibly not true, the reason he is not asking is he wants to "stay" good friends.
Possibly not true, the reason he is not asking is he wants to "stay" good friends.
Could be...not sure I blame him.
But what to do? I wish I had an easy answer. The job search is heating up with several potential opportunities. But as we all know, it can be hot and cold (interview processes stop, other applicants hired, interview process moves at a snail's pace).
I have to make a very tough decision; stay or go? I have argued this in my head and I change my mind daily.
I can stay here in Denver and pay for some sort of living arrangement or head back to California where I can stay with my folks and continue my job search.
Pros of moving back to California:
1.) My rent is $0 and can preserve my savings
2.) I can take my time in evaluating my job prospects
3.) I can see my family
4.) Even flying back to interview is still cheaper or just as pricey as continuing to live in Colorado
Cons of moving back to California:
1.) Cost and time of driving back (gas, hotels, time)
2.) I will be out of the area which may make it harder for me to interview in Colorado
3.) Having to explain to a potential employer my decision to go back to California may knock me out of the running
If a job really looked like it was going to go the distance, I would stay but it's hard to tell. I've had interviews that I thought were locked down fizzle and those that I thought wouldn't go anywhere heat up.
I have had friends come and live with me twice. The way I saw it I had the means to help someone who needed a lift s why wouldn't I do that. The first time was a married couple and their three year old. It made for a crowded home but we all got on fine. They didn't pay anything at all and lived with me for a year although I had told them they cold stay for three months. The wife helped out by doing the housekeeping which for me was very appreciated. He helped out with cutting grass etc. Eventually they moved out and moved on and we don't have a relationship anymore but I have no regrets.
The second was a younger person that I knew as a acquaintance. She was sleeping on her uncles couch which was to far from her job to get there when she as involved in a collision that totaled her car. She was very concerned that she was going to loose her job because she cold not get there. So I rented her my spare room at a low weekly price and again she helped out with the house keeping. She lived with me for about 6 months and the went into the Air force. Now she lives in another state and is married and has a beautiful ranch and a great life. I am glad to have been able to hep her out while she tried to get her life on track. We are still close friends 10 years later.
Don't be afraid to ask your freind if he could help you out with a temporary place to live. Sure he might say no. But if you don't ask he won't have the chance to say yes either. And if he does say yes make sure you appreciate his hospitality treat his home with respect and help out as much as you are able.
Why do you have to tell potential employers that you are back in CA? Just keep your phone number and address and if they call for an interview book a flight asap and get there on time.
Why do you have to tell potential employers that you are back in CA? Just keep your phone number and address and if they call for an interview book a flight asap and get there on time.
Very true. The only problem would be for quickly scheduled interviews but I could deal with that as needed. I also have a UPS street address PO Box which I could use even after I move. It's nice because it's a real address as opposed to a PO Box address.
It really comes down to spend the money on short term rentals for convenience or be more conservative and save money by going back to California. In my mind, unless something really looks like it will go the distance soon, the best bet is to save the money and return to California and fly back for interviews. For the cost of short term rentals, I could fly back to Colorado 3 times (maybe 4) in one month and break even.
I have had friends come and live with me twice. The way I saw it I had the means to help someone who needed a lift s why wouldn't I do that. The first time was a married couple and their three year old. It made for a crowded home but we all got on fine. They didn't pay anything at all and lived with me for a year although I had told them they cold stay for three months. The wife helped out by doing the housekeeping which for me was very appreciated. He helped out with cutting grass etc. Eventually they moved out and moved on and we don't have a relationship anymore but I have no regrets.
The second was a younger person that I knew as a acquaintance. She was sleeping on her uncles couch which was to far from her job to get there when she as involved in a collision that totaled her car. She was very concerned that she was going to loose her job because she cold not get there. So I rented her my spare room at a low weekly price and again she helped out with the house keeping. She lived with me for about 6 months and the went into the Air force. Now she lives in another state and is married and has a beautiful ranch and a great life. I am glad to have been able to hep her out while she tried to get her life on track. We are still close friends 10 years later.
Don't be afraid to ask your freind if he could help you out with a temporary place to live. Sure he might say no. But if you don't ask he won't have the chance to say yes either. And if he does say yes make sure you appreciate his hospitality treat his home with respect and help out as much as you are able.
Why not tell your friend that you have to go back to Cali because your lease is up, but ask him if you can use his address/phone as a local address for job offers? Then if he wants to invite you to stay with him, he can, but I agree with others that moving in with a friend might not be the best idea.
Having someone move in, even if it's family or someone very close, changes the whole dynamic of your household. It's something I'd do for my adult kids if I had to (and I have) or my parents if I had to, but extended family/friends not so much. We did let a friend stay with us while he was going through a divorce. I don't regret doing it, but I would rather not be in the position of being asked ever again...
Here's another option. Ask your friend if you can rent a room from him for a month and give him what you were paying in rent at your old place (or close to it). I know if I had a big house with some empty rooms and I had a friend (even if not that close) I'd welcome a nice chunk of change for a month. Just make sure you stress how clean you will be and how you will NOT inconvenience him. You just need a rental for a month.
That sounds a bit too direct. Perhaps it would be better to ask the friend(casually) to let you know if he knows anybody that is looking to rent out a room for $XX?
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