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Nope, you arent being a baby. Follow your heart and your instincts. Maybe you could take an unpaid leave of absence from your job and go home and think it over for a couple of months? You could see family and give yourself time to think it over.
The heart wants what the heart wants. It sounds like family is more important to you than being someplace you think you should like. Listen to yourself and you'll never go wrong.
Maybe you could Skype your family back home. It's not the same thing, but at least you could see and talk to them.
Give LA a little more time. Of course it's not going to be "home" to you; you just got here. There's SO much to do, to see, to visit, to taste, to hear in LA. I moved away from my parents and family seven years ago. I loved it, but then started missing them. Now I moved back with my parents, and I remembered WHY I moved out in the first place. lol.
I was always SO independent though. Once I moved away, I neverrrr wanted to go back. I didn't go back to visit on weekends, I even skipped holidays. Why am I all of a sudden turning into this crazy family-missing person?! hahaha
Couple thoughts:
1. It's really easy to be independent when you live relatively close to home. The reason I've found is that I have a safety net that I don't even consciously think about- sure you don't always go home, but you CAN if you want to, and it's that possibility that makes a big difference.
2. Being away from sick family is hard. The first time I moved out I had a blast, was super independent, and limited my connection to family to weekly phone calls home. Then my brother got in a horrible car accident and I moved closer to home for a while. The 2nd time I moved out was way harder than the first because I was leaving behind my still-recovering brother. I was homesick a lot more often and spent a lot of time on the phone or online checking in with him. Now I've hit a pretty happy medium where I still stay in regular contact, but I feel better leaving my family.
Try a visit home, then give the next few months in LA a chance. If it helps, set aside a budget for regular trips home and see if that makes things easier. Family obviously has a high value for you, so take some time to invest in it.
Not trying to lay a guilt trip on you, but I moved out of state and 7 months later my dad passed. I'll never forgive myself for missing out on that last 7 months of his life. And I hated where I was. Never clicked with the state or the people.
I think a visit home will put everything into perspective for you. Even if you love where you're at, you still need a family visit. I moved to MO. 3+ years ago, but my kids and grands are here. I also love the state and its people. I liked CA. was raised there, but it had changed and wasn't as friendly as it used to be. Good luck OP, and follow your heart.
I moved 1500 miles away from home right after my 27th birthday. I grew up in a rural area (not a one stoplight kind of town, but a far cry from a big city) and I had just gone through a terrible break up and I wanted out. I wanted to be independent and live in a big city. I didn't go home at all the first year I was there. But after the first two years I really started to get home sick. My brother had a pretty significant health scare and it was awful being so far away while he was sick. I'm also very close to my parents. I started to think how sad I would be if I met someone while living far away and ended up settling down and having kids being so far away from family. Only seeing family and old friends a couple times a year was tough. I liked the new place in a lot of ways and I made some wonderful friends that still feel like family to me, but I ended up moving back after 2 1/2 years in the new city.
I like the east coast. I like the vibe here, I like the weather and four seasons. I like being in close proximity to all my favorite cities (NYC, Boston, DC). I like living in a smaller town now. The crowds, high cost of living, and nightmare traffic everywhere were taxing to deal with on a daily basis. Only after being gone could I really appreciate where I grew up. I don't think I would enjoy anything about living in LA. I miss the city where I was and I miss the friends I made there, but moving back was the right decision for me for the long term. You can give it some more time, but I think you'll just know if it's not the right fit for you. And if it's not then there's no shame in going back. Best of luck to you in your decision.
I think 7 1/2 months is a bit short to really see if it feels like home. I moved with my husband across country to the NE. At first I hated it. It was hard to meet people, very expensive, and I missed home. It took me about two years to feel settled and as if I were at home. I loved it, and our friends became our family.
That said, evaluate your relationship. I know if I told my his am I wanted to move back, he would have entertained the idea, if not move back. You both need to be happy to male a relationship work.
You need to sit down and have a conversation with your boyfriend. You need to tell him how you feel. And then you both need to make some decisions. You may have to choose between going back without your boyfriend or living in L.A. where you don't feel at home. Maybe a compromise can be made. If not back to Philly, why not someplace a little closer?
And I don't think you are crazy. My SIL used to live in L.A. and as much as I love her, I hated visiting her because I REALLY HATE L.A. My oldest step-daughter, her husband, & their two kids live in San Bernadino. Again, as much as I love them, I hate visiting because...well, you get the picture. I hate California.
Hopefully, the two of you can come up with something that will be best for both of you. Good luck.
I moved out of my Mom's house when I was 17, to Philadelphia, for college (about 3 hours away from where my family lives). I am 23 now and this past September I moved to LA with my boyfriend. His company relocated us and paid for everything. I have a full time job in my field, but it's miserable and stressful. We get along great and live in a nice apartment and everything is comfortable.
The past 2 months, I can't stop thinking about how homesick I am. I miss my mom and my friends. My grandmother has just become ill and I feel so terrible about not being there to spend time with her. I never felt like this in Philly (maybe because it was a short trip home?) We have friends here, but I don't feel a connection with them like any of my friends from the east coast. There is no sense of community here, everyone is a tourist.
Recently I've been considering either moving back in with my mom (she lives alone) or moving back to Philadelphia. I feel terrible because I agreed to move out here, but my boyfriend says he would NEVER move back (and he can easily transfer locations through his company). Am I being too selfish to leave? I can't imagine starting a family out here and not having my children spend time with their grandparents, etc. I don't understand how he doesn't miss his family at all.
I was also considering taking an extended trip home (2 months or so), but that would not be great financially.
Do I really hate LA or am I just looking for excuses? Everyone says I am crazy for wanting to leave haha.
The weather is great, but it just doesn't feel like home to me. Has anyone else had this issue? Did you get over it with time? (I have been here 7 1/2 months). Am I being a huge baby about the whole thing?
I know exactly how you feel...Texas just doesn't seem like home at all and I've been here almost 5 years.
I'm NOT bashing tx...a great many people love it here, but I simply don't.
I like the people, great customer service ect but I while I have made "friends" given a choice I would much rather be hanging out with my old friends in Las Vegas.
I know there is something wrong with the "fit" here because when I left Chicago (and my entire family and cushy lifestyle) I never looked back. There was never a day I wanted to be living back in Chicago.
Once I leave Tx I really don't think I will ever think much about having lived here again...this was not living, this was surviving even with well paying jobs.
I'm not a fan of LA...nice area to visit but you probably couldn't pay me enough to live there.
I've gotten used to west coast folks and like them but it took time coming from a much more conservative area.
Finding a job you like better MAY help...I thought that was my problem here...the first job I found I basically worked for a monster but a job more to my liking didn't change things for me. Go back for a visit and see how you feel...then figure out what is right for YOU. If you can't imagine raising kids without family around and they aren't willing or able to relocate than you have some serious thinking to do. I would give it at least 6 months though and see how you feel at that point. Until then go out and try to see the sights and have some fun.
Give it at least a year and a half. It's too early to make up your mind. When my wife and I moved away from our family, it was hard at first. We got over it, and it was a great thing for us because it opened up the whole country when we were deciding where we wanted to live. It's not worth losing a great relationships over this, and your boyfriend has a very reasonable claim to want to avoid being dragged back after a mutual decision to move to somewhere that has been wonderful for him. Try to spend more time making friends in your new city. At seven and a half months, missing your long time friends in Philly, it sounds like you're spending too much time social networking with old friends and making the homesick feeling worse, and not enough time taking in all the great things around you.
You may have to figure out if it is worth blowing up your relationship to find a man that wants to organize his life around living near your family. Most working partners won't want to limit their opportunities to those that are within a commute of your parents.
I'm very sympathetic to your position, but I agree with those who say that you probably should give it a little more time. I would recommend a full year -- it took about that long for my husband and I to feel fully adjusted to our new city. Being far away from family is hard, and you might still decide at the end of the year that you want to go back -- in that case, you should have a talk with your boyfriend as to what to do and what that means for the two of you.
Maybe if you looked for a different job with a bit less stress, that would help? Do you have any interests or hobbies? Finding a group that shares those interests -- a cooking class, a recreational soccer league, etc -- might go a long way to making you feel a bit more settled.
As far as your boyfriend -- I think eventually you two need to have a conversation about future life goals and expectations. If you truly cannot imagine raising children too far away from your family, then that needs to be known if your relationship is serious (and I'm assuming it is since you moved with him?). Granted, at 23 you're likely not thinking about kids anytime soon, but it's a conversation worth having once things seem to be moving that way.
Best of luck -- being homesick is so hard.
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I moved to MO. 3+ years ago, but my kids and grands are here. I also love the state and its people. I liked CA. was raised there, but it had changed and wasn't as friendly as it used to be. Good luck OP, and follow your heart.
