I moved across the country and I think I hate it?

[longnecker]

[quote=ennaaxelam;34394953]

I was also considering taking an extended trip home (2 months or so), but that would not be great financially.

Do I really hate LA or am I just looking for excuses? Everyone says I am crazy for wanting to leave haha.
?[/QUOTE
Face it. You are homesick The question is would you rather be with your boyfriend or your Mother?

[ecoastgal32]

I know exactly how you feel. I moved out to Santa Barbara, CA from NJ almost 5 years ago. I moved to LA with my bf about a yr ago because now he works for his families business. I wish now I would have stayed in SB anyday over LA living. The home sick feeling never goes away. If anything it gets worse as the months go by. I miss my family very badly. In LA it's so difficult to make friends, traffic is unbelievable, people are mean, it smells, homeless everywhere, so expensive it angers you daily, gas keeps going up and up and up......I could go on. I recently also just got a job in my field and I should be so excited, BUT I hate it already 2 wks in. Why?probably because it has made me realize again that I dislike LA that much. It's just not for me! I miss my mom and family. It's hard to live what feels like a world away. I love the bf although I can't see myself living my own life unhappy and not wanting to raise kids here. My advice is to discuss with your bf your feelings as I will have to do the same like today! As I cannot take one more day of LA life. I need to follow my heart and its telling me to go back home. I would rather quit the job than be unhappy for another yr or more! Time flys why waste it...

[Cesdra]

I too think you need to give it more time until you can decide if you will ever feel at home in L.A. or not, however, I also think you need a few more things to like there to make it worth the wait. You don't like your job, you're not making any close friends (again, 7 months is not long to make really good new friends, the older we get, the harder it gets to built close relationships), you miss your family and just getting along with your bf doesn't sound quite right to me. I always thought I wanted to move far away from my family, explore the world, be independent and experience new things. When I was in my mid 20s I lived near Boston for 5 months and I felt so lonely and out of place. I would not move away alone again. I am not sure if moving just because your bf wanted to was enought of a reason. If you feel like L.A. just isn't right for you, then go back home, maybe for a few weeks, see how it feels. Maybe apply for new jobs in L.A. and in your old hometown and see where something turns up. If you're not even a bit happy where you live right now then you might end up resenting your bf for not moving back with you at some point.
Moving across country away from your family is a big deal. You have to really want it, you have to look forward to it and be excited just to be in the new area. Everything else will be hard enough but stepping out of your frontdoor, interacting with new people, exploring new things has to give you the energy to make it through the hardships of a new job, a new apartment, finding new friends etc. If that's not the case, you're making very hard on yourself.

[silibran]

Originally Posted by ennaaxelam

I was always SO independent though. Once I moved away, I neverrrr wanted to go back. I didn't go back to visit on weekends, I even skipped holidays. Why am I all of a sudden turning into this crazy family-missing person?! hahaha

I don't know. But if your relationship is strong with BF, and you value it, I'd stick it out at least for a total of 18 months. But do try to do new things and make new friends in the meantime. A short visit home might also be in order. You might decided you want to stay where you are. Or, not.

[kletter1mann]

Originally Posted by Enigma777

My experience was similar to yours. I dreamed of living in CA my entire childhood in CT. It was when CA was THE place to be. After college, I lived in FL for awhile and then headed to SoCal where my college roommate had moved. After six months there I had to admit to myself that I hated it--the culture, the expressways, the people and the lack of connection.

Talking generalities here--everyone I met was pretty superficial. Everyone said Have a Nice Day and smiled and then turned around and couldn't care less about you. People were really into nice cars and good looks. You were supposed to get plastic surgery, etc. if your looks were imperfect. I didn't really miss the Northeast, but just never felt grounded out there. It felt too big, empty and superficial. I kept thinking that as much as I wanted to get out of the Northeast, the people were really more solid there. That is-- they are reserved, but once someone is your friend, they will do anything for you and are real friends. In CA, I did not really miss my family or the Northeast, just the people vibe and sense of humor (something I also could not find much of out there). I did leave and lived in New Mexico for a few years, then to NYC which I loved. Maybe having things in common with people from the same geographical area creates more of a bond than you realize. I am very happy in FL these days but am happiest when I am in an area where there are others from the Northeast. I also bond easily with Europeans and Brits who often seem to have a similar sense of humor, political views and intellectual outlook as northeasterners.

^^this. This same theme repeats again and again and again. Because it's true.