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I agree with ElleTea, 30 is NOT old. Look, life is far too short to stay somewhere where you are unhappy and/or don't fit in. I'm 10 years older and about to move somewhere (yes, totally sight unseen) for my husband's career.. and I'm doing so with three kids and two dogs in tow. Thankfully my career is portable, but if it weren't, I have a solid resume and I'm certain that I'd find gainful employment in a matter of months. And, yes, I realize that I have a partner that can financially support me, but if I were 30 and single with a great resume and $ saved up-- I'd likely be willing to 'up and move' once thoroughly researching the job and housing market and was assured that I would be likely to find a job.
Calculated risks CAN pay off-- and risks are what can make life exciting. I'm not saying that you should quit your job and put all $60K you have saved at risk, but you also need to open up your mind quite a bit and be willing to consider new areas (or not) and perhaps not judge an entire region based on the residents in one section of the city. Perfect example, I currently live in South FL-- if I were to visit, say, the Towne Center Mall in Boca or Lincoln Road in South Beach the average person I'd see there is NOT someone that I'd get along with at ALL-- I don't have plastic surgery, I don't often wear designer duds, etc-- but, regardless of the 'average' person here is like, I have AMAZING friends that really 'get me'.
I get that your profession leads you to be naturally conservative and risk adverse, but I think that if you loosen up just a bit, you'll find that there's a lot more out there than just one county in CT that offers opportunity, both professionally and personally for you. But it's not going to come to you, YOU have to go to it.
NO ONE can tell you the best place for you, only you can decide that-- but, of course, this is the perfect forum for looking into potential new cities. YES, it IS possible to get a job long distance.. no, it's not easy. But you only need ONE JOB and a handful of friends and a few potential mates, you don't need to love every.single.person. in your new city to be happy. No place is PERFECT-- everything has downsides, perfect is also the enemy of the good. Take a chance and you just might find the happiness that seems to be eluding you.
OP, I mean this kindly, but you honestly sound either mildly depressed and/or overly concerned about your 'looming' birthday-- and just generally negative. Not quite sure why you started this thread as your mind was already completely made up-- not to mention, you do have the option of visiting any city that you're considering even while employed, especially with a substantial nest egg built up-- you can fly r/t and pay for two nights lodging to just about anywhere in the US for under $1000 total. Go, explore.. travel and I genuinely hope you find the perfect place for you.
Thank you for this informative and insightful post. But let's say that I do take the risk and move somewhere with no job secured, with my $60K. At what point of savings depletion should I call it quits and admit failure? $55K? $50K? $45K? Even if I lost $5K, it will take almost a whole YEAR to recover that loss, thereby setting my life back a full year. You know?
Thank you for this informative and insightful post. But let's say that I do take the risk and move somewhere with no job secured, with my $60K. At what point of savings depletion should I call it quits and admit failure? $55K? $50K? $45K? Even if I lost $5K, it will take almost a whole YEAR to recover that loss, thereby setting my life back a full year. You know?
I am going to reiterate the statement that no one can tell you exactly what you are going to find in a place and long distance research won't do that either. You have to go to a place to find that our for yourself as you discovered in your Denver experience. For some that isn't important, they can just move and take what they find when they get there but for you, it is an important issue. I am the same way.
Regarding the possible loss of funds, that's called taking a chance. Nothing in life is without risk. You have to be prepared that might happen or just simply stay safe and stay home. At some point decide what that risk factor will be, when I did my relocation from Chicago to Portland many decades ago, I did just that. My criteria was how much would it cost to either move back or move on. If I didn't like where I was, I wouldn't let myself get below that amount.
It isn't a setback or a loss, it's just a plan on how much you would need to move on. I certainly don't have what I did when I relocated all those years ago but I am relocating again with what I have now. Don't think of things in terms of setbacks, it's all really moving forward from one point to the next. Don't think in terms of failure. If it doesn't work out it doesn't work out.
Why would you feel the need to recover your savings spent after calling it quits? You don't have to go back financially to square one to move on as long as you have enough to change locations once again. It isn't money wasted if things don't work out because you will have the experience of knowing you tried something and you have learned from that experience and can put it behind you.
I don't care what anyone says, there are two types of people in this world, complainers and doers.
The complainers are the ones that complain about traffic, society, the Jones', the weather, the culture, the food, etc.
The Doers are the ones that blend into their environment, do as the locals do and enjoy the new experiences.
The only people that can go somewhere and live comfortably (and most likely permanently if they so choose) are the doers.
Well that's stupid logic.
If someone is a doer and they dislike the area they live, I'm sure they would DO whatever it takes to relocate to an area that is more suitable to them.
Forcing yourself to like living somewhere even though deep down inside you don't like it is a lost cause.
I have been living in my area for a year now and hate it even more and more with each passing day.
If someone is a doer and they dislike the area they live, I'm sure they would DO whatever it takes to relocate to an area that is more suitable to them.
Forcing yourself to like living somewhere even though deep down inside you don't like it is a lost cause.
I have been living in my area for a year now and hate it even more and more with each passing day.
You can't put a complainer in for a doer. Just because a complainer actually did something (by moving) doesn't make them a doer.
To answer this thread directly, if you complain about everyday normal things that you should be acclimated to but you find yourself complaining all day, then you should visit these places first.
I do not believe in gray areas, only black and white. As I stated above, it is my experience and opinion.
There are countless people that retire in tropical ocean fronts and end up complaining and hating everything about it, then there are the people that get along with the culture and the environment and love it and never leave. Ultimately a doer is a true open-minded individual, they are rare as most people complain about simple minded BS. Anyways, good luck OP, I would research it first but expect the unexpected.
If someone is a doer and they dislike the area they live, I'm sure they would DO whatever it takes to relocate to an area that is more suitable to them.
Forcing yourself to like living somewhere even though deep down inside you don't like it is a lost cause.
I have been living in my area for a year now and hate it even more and more with each passing day.
I agree completely with you on this. I would never stay in a place in which I was miserable just because I happened to be living there. I am not miserable where I am now but I am moving to a place that is just much better suited for me at this time in my life. That is key, I think.
I relocated from Chicago to Portland 35 years ago. It took a lot of adjusting but I was willing to take the time to give it a chance. It took awhile but it paid off and it worked for me for a long time. Over the past five years or so, it hasn't been working. I changed and the area changed. We were no longer suited for each other in many ways. So over the past few years, I was in no hurry, I did my due diligence; online, friends, research and a couple of in-person visits to a couple of likely locations and found my new spot. I will be relocating next month.
Do you think it's a good idea to pursue employment and plan to relocate somewhere that sounds good on paper, but you've never visited even once?
A couple years ago, I did tons of research and concluded that I wanted to move to Denver. However, when I visited Denver afterward, the general area did not appeal to me at all. I was a bit shocked at how hippie/liberal it was, and my research didn't quite paint an accurate picture enough as to how the place was in real life. I mean, I KNEW that it was a liberal environment, but just the way people carried themselves, their appearances/styles, flannel shirts, guys with long hair, goth girls, snow hats, etc. just weren't quite captured in my research. I just couldn't see myself fitting in there culturally. I spent hours looking at various spots in the area on Google Maps street view, but in real life it just appeared and felt different than I had imagined. So I decided not to move there.
But now my research is telling me that a few places in the country might be good for me, but I've never been to them. So I don't know what to do.
What would be your best advice on this matter?
No 'but even a visit if short isn't wise to show what living in a place is really like. Often people moving to areas they visited on vacation find it very different living there.
No 'but even a visit if short isn't wise to show what living in a place is really like. Often people moving to areas they visited on vacation find it very different living there.
That's because a vacation is nothing like a fact-finding visit. A vacation usually consists of seeing only the best and most fun. You come home with happy memories. A visit to explore a potential place should consist of looking at neighborhoods, talking to people, checking out amenities you will need and everything else you would want in the place where you live.
I have spent vacation time from work doing this. I did a bit of both; I would visit a potential place for relocation purposes but also took a bit of time to have some fun. I always found that people were always happy to talk about their city. Waitstaff are the best for that kind of information. I would take buses because I don't drive and sometimes someone riding with me would chat about their city if I asked about directions. If I stayed in a hotel, the people at the registration desks were a wealth of knowledge. Walking around a neighborhood helped me get a feel for it.
You can learn a lot about a place in a couple of weeks if you spend your time wisely with a little bit of time left over for sightseeing.
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,308 posts, read 4,120,376 times
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.............FWIW:.......
I'll admit I just happened on this thread and have "scanned" through about 40% of the posts.........
Check out Santa Fe, N.M.
IMO your "life-style" would possibly fit well in that city.
Having worked for 40 of my 82 years in a position that put me in contact with "management" people on a daily basis, as I traveled through approx 40 of the 50 states................I feel that I have a good grasp with regard to people and their various types of personalities and life styles.
Think of situations in life as related to the "RISK/REWARD ratio.." No risk...very little reward!!!!!!!
As an 82 yr old, straight, widower after 51 yrs of marriage............I hope my opinion(s) might be of some benefit.
I'll admit I just happened on this thread and have "scanned" through about 40% of the posts.........
Check out Santa Fe, N.M.
IMO your "life-style" would possibly fit well in that city.
Having worked for 40 of my 82 years in a position that put me in contact with "management" people on a daily basis, as I traveled through approx 40 of the 50 states................I feel that I have a good grasp with regard to people and their various types of personalities and life styles.
Think of situations in life as related to the "RISK/REWARD ratio.." No risk...very little reward!!!!!!!
As an 82 yr old, straight, widower after 51 yrs of marriage............I hope my opinion(s) might be of some benefit.
Good Luck........
Lol thanks, but no, Santa Fe wouldn't be good for me. I've been there and it's beautiful, but there's almost no gay population and it's very expensive and has no jobs. But thanks!
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