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Is there some kind of problem with moving to SC? I too am from the Tri-Cities area, and while the weather is more temperate in east TN, the skies are overcast a lot in the winter. Middle and west TN do tend to be a bit warmer, but also have more issues with tornadoes and severe weather than east TN. Depending on where you are in east TN, there can still be considerable snowfall. TN also has reasonably low property taxes, no personal property tax, and no tax on earned income. I know several people from the Midwest and New England who retired to east TN, but it was basically for scenery and cost of living, not to escape snow.
KY is going to be a slightly colder version of most of TN. There are lots of pretty areas, but not much going on unless you are near Lexington or Louisville. Lexington is a decent sized, very clean town.
I would choose SC any day of the week. TN just has too much crime and unemployment outside of Nashville, and the state seems to be in decline. KY is just too rural. SC's metros are really picking up and am coming along nicely.
FLHappy, how did I know you're in Ocala? OMG and when we forst started looking I started in Live Oak! Eventually it turned into Newberry, Morriston, Arcadia, La Belle.....you get the idea.
Em, my dad is in Sun City Hilton Head for 8 years and loves it, if you're into the HOA kinda thing.......
My xH and I had this issue. He wanted to move to Alberta, Canada. I liked living near our families in Southeast Texas. He hated heat. I hated cold. We were younger, with a new baby.
This caused so much stress that we saw a marriage counselor over it. She made us each write down why we did or did not want to leave and really look at each other's lists.
It was readily apparent that we could not move to Canada. I hate cold and snow so much that I pretty much guaranteed we'd be divorced in 2 years if we went. We agreed on the possibility of compromise to a Midwestern or Northeastern US state - somewhere with actual seasons (beyond Spring, Hot and Damn Hot) - and we talked about what could be done to mitigate the cold for me (I am not shoveling out my own car) and what could be done to mitigate the heat for him (hire a lawn service). We talked about what we'd give up by not being in each place, and what we'd gain.
Then my dad was diagnosed with a form of cancer that couldn't be treated, and I asked him to delay any decision so I could spend as much time here as I could.
The week Dad died, I agreed to move to Delaware. A few weeks later, xH moved out and filed for divorce, so I got to stay here with our families. xH got a new job and moved to a neighboring city (20 minutes away), and suddenly he no longer felt the pressing need to move across country. It's possible that your husband is just dying for a change, and that a few smaller changes may be enough to satisfy him.
Wow! This post has been fascinating for me. I live in Seattle, where I was born and raised. I am done with it here. As I've aged and after having kids, I've developed SADS. I also suspect I'm suffering from some wanderlust. This city is getting so crazy busy and packed with people. I remember when rush hour truly was an hour. Unfortunately, my Chicagoan husband likes it here and isn't keen to leave. I am dying for a new adventure and a slower, more affordable place to live, but he's not. I, too, feel like this is my midlife crisis and sometimes feel like I'm withering away inside due to my inability to leave. I hate to say it, but it's comforting to know that other people feel this too and I'm not just a miserable person (well, jury is still out on that! ;-).
I keep hoping he'll come around and I'm sure he keeps hoping I'll get over it. Hopefully this doesn't pull us apart.
Have you thought about downsizing your home in Michigan and then renting in various locations to test out the change? I know snowbird wasn't first on your list, but it sounds like it might be your best compromise. I also find the suggestion that maybe he's tired of a life full of responsibility very interesting. Maybe downsizing could help him. I've started purging our home, as if we're moving and I have to admit that it is making me feel lighter and happier knowing I'm getting rid of so much visual clutter.
I always wanted to move and was miserable where we lived. My husband did not. The marriage ended, and I got out as fast as possible. I am now much happier.
I wish we had broken up years ago!
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oh boy - I could have written this post, except I was in NY and like you, I didn't want to leave. I was very happy there, but my husband was not. He was not from NY, never acclimated. Hated the traffic and expense. It never bothered me - and quite frankly, I never saw myself leaving NY until a few yrs ago when he started complaining incessantly (we were living in a small 1 bedroom apt).
After a lot of research - tons of money spent on visiting the area multiple times, we moved to the Cary NC area in May. I absolutely HATE IT here! 99% of people love this place. I cannot stand the intense heat. I cannot stand not knowing anyone. I feel like I am in the middle of nowhere, even though I am not. I just feel completely lost.
I don't know what my future holds, but one thing is for certain, it is not in NC.
If you've only been there since May and still haven't met anyone, what are you doing to meet people? We moved to SW TN from NYC less than 2 years ago and I couldn't be happier. It does take time to make real friends, but it doesn't take that long to begin meeting people. Get the local newspaper and find out what is going on - go to a meeting, join the friends of the library, volunteer at the animal shelter, become a candy striper at the hospital. You won't meet people just staying at home and only going out to shop - well, you might if you're chatty in the market.
If you've only been there since May and still haven't met anyone, what are you doing to meet people? We moved to SW TN from NYC less than 2 years ago and I couldn't be happier. It does take time to make real friends, but it doesn't take that long to begin meeting people. Get the local newspaper and find out what is going on - go to a meeting, join the friends of the library, volunteer at the animal shelter, become a candy striper at the hospital. You won't meet people just staying at home and only going out to shop - well, you might if you're chatty in the market.
I know I need to give it more time, and we signed a 1 yr lease, so I am here for a while. I guess for me, it takes more than a pretty area to make it feel like home. What good is it to finally have a nice place (we are renting a nice townhouse) if it's empty and we can't share it with anyone? I grossly underestimated how hard it actually is to be away from my family and friends. I miss NYC, the energy, things to DO. The streets around here roll up at 8pm. It's so sleepy here.
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