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Initially after moving here, I did get a little sad. We took our first trip (18 hours) back to NYC within 3 months, but then not for another year. People came to visit and we travelled, got some foster dogs, met folks, made friends. You are a lot closer and can make the trip in a day - so you can easily schedule a long weekend to go back and visit.
I absolutely do NOT miss the harried, hurried, frenzied atmosphere in NYC and we were not club/bar goers. There are OTHER things to do. I don't miss the theater, museums, or high priced restaurants. I DO miss the variety of restaurants and the beaches in NJ. And I miss PIZZA! Pizza shack just doesn't do it. We have substituted going to auctions, taking drives to places we haven't been, listening to nature, having room, the silence of not listening to sirens all day/night, car horns, truck jake brakes, neighbors shouting at each other, parking problems, etc.
I absolutely do NOT miss the harried, hurried, frenzied atmosphere in NYC and we were not club/bar goers. There are OTHER things to do. I don't miss the theater, museums, or high priced restaurants. I DO miss the variety of restaurants and the beaches in NJ. And I miss PIZZA! Pizza shack just doesn't do it. We have substituted going to auctions, taking drives to places we haven't been, listening to nature, having room, the silence of not listening to sirens all day/night, car horns, truck jake brakes, neighbors shouting at each other, parking problems, etc.
Oh how I miss being able to hop on the LIRR and go into the city anytime I wanted to! even if it was almost an 1 & half hour train ride from Ronkonkoma. Going to museums is wonderful - and I loved being able to do that whenever - or central park, which we enjoyed often!
If you actually lived IN the city, then I can see how all those things would destroy your quality of life. I honestly don't know how anyone lives in that city. Unless you're rich and can afford a high floor apartment with superior sound proofing, I could never tolerate hearing sirens and horns all day and night.
LOL While we officially lived IN NYC (but not the City), we were almost in a country area - we lived on Staten Island on Ft. Wadsworth National Park - our backyard consisted of acres of trees and mowed (2 days worth of mowing - grr) lawn a stone's throw from where the VN Bridge crossed the park. It was very quiet until the park was opened to the public - except for the constant sound of the bridge and our neighbors who talked in a shout.
If I wanted to get into the city, I took a bus to the ferry. After the first year or two there, I made an annual pilgrimage to the city to have dinner/show with friends. I made exceptions for taking visitors from afar or a trip to one of the museums or a concert/opera; but city-life was not appealing. I saw the best shows down in Atlantic City, not "The City" and didn't have to deal with the crowds.
We tried two cruises out of NYC - and never again - although we still cruised. NYers do not good travelling companions make.
I am from MI too. I am younger but was a snow bird one year in FL and then also tried living in FL year round but the humidity/heat was horrible for me. I remember growing up my grandfather wanted to live in FL more year round but my grandma did not. They did get a winter condo there for 3 months. Even with that my grandma would come back to MI monthly to visit cause she hated being away from her family. My grandma ended up passing when I was a teen and my grandpa made the move year round to FL.
I also think why not try out some time in the winter in SC since you have a place. See how you feel. You may actually like getting away for a little while in the winter and if you do you may find it ok the next year to spend more time. To me if you can afford to have 2 places that would be ideal but may not be an option. I have lived in a few different states and was thinking of moving to NC but I can't tolerate high humidity and heat. Winters in MI are no picnic but with humidity I feel even inside with air you still feel it.
You simply can't put the parents into the equation in making your decision, because of a big fat unknown.
Parents in their early 80's, and? They could live another 10-15 years or more! And? Somewhere along the way, husband loses patience, goes off to KY/TN alone and never looks back!
We are a couple married 26 years with two grown kids in their early twenties. We currently live in Michigan, and have lived in the same general vicinity for all of our lives. We still need to work for a few more years, since I'm not even fifty yet and we helped our son and are helping our daughter to pay for college.
Question:
Has anyone been in a situation where one of you wants to relocate to a different state/region and the other does not?
Hubby wants to move somewhere with less snow in about two years after our daughter graduates from college. He is okay with some snow, just not as much of a yearly average as we have here. (He was pulling for Florida, but thank God I think that is off the radar for now because after a couple of trips down there he agrees that it is miserable in the summer and too many bugs, people, etc.) He is now talking about KY or TN.
I am very happy to stay right here. We have a beautiful house, secure jobs, our extended families are here, we have happy memories here of when our kids were growing up, and, most importantly, at least one of our kids (our son) is very happy here and he and his wife are buying a house and planning on putting down deep roots here, as in, this is where our future grandchildren are going to grow up. Our daughter talks about moving away, but not anywhere remotely near the Southeast, so we would be losing her too.
So...how does this get resolved? I mean, I love my husband and want him to be happy, but I really don't feel like leaving our lifelong home to move somewhere where we know absolutely no one and have no idea if we would even be happy there, not to mention that I would miss our kids terribly.
Snowbirding might be a solution several years down the road, and we already own a condo on the beach in SC, but not while we are still working, and this kind of needs to be resolved before then.
This winter was ultra-extreme. We may never see another one like it. I don't think weather is a good reason to pull up roots from a place where you are otherwise happy. Besides, we are having an absolutely spectacular summer weather wise, and it is normally gorgoeous here from April through October.
Thoughts? Advice?
Thanks!
Do NOT move to Blaine, TN.!!! you will never build a house here with out going threw Hell to get it approved, trust me I have been through this and after seven months and it still didn't get approved.
If you folks are looking to move south, I understand. We're former Wis. residents. When we have the chance to move south, we took it and we do not miss the snow, cold and long winters. But, your husband has bad timing. Finding good jobs that pay the kind of wages you're probably used to is not so easy in the state's you're talking about, especially at your age. If your husband wanted to do this, he's about 20 years late. You're kind of stuck now. Give him all the opportunity you can for him to visit the places he wants to go, just to make sure.
But I will say, you're being less than understanding. Maybe you'd have more incentive if you took on his winter chores. My guess is you have a house and a couple of cars. So take a winter and you go out and shovel the snow, warm up the cars, etc. You might find that you too wouldn't mind a move to a warmer climate.
I am a regular in the Florida forum and we see this situation every so often.
Generally both spouses have/want to move to Florida but they are getting the guilt trip from from others. The overwhelming advice was to ignore what others said and focus on what is best for you and your spouse.
Your situation is different because you and DH don't agree but the point is this must be decided between you two and only you two. Do not worry about what your families think. Are they staying put just because YOU live near them?
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