Did I handle the situation in the best way ? (cheap, quote, friend)

[convextech]

Here's my personal opinion on this:

Originally Posted by vanguardisle

My new friend is actually the former owner of this foreclosure fixer upper home I just bought.

He's a POS and took you for a chump. No telling what kind of problems his sorry a$$ has left for you to fix, for his "buddies" to "help you fix". Cut him off immediately.

Originally Posted by vanguardisle

He has since then helped me for free and occasionally charged me a low price to do certain jobs since he is a handyman. He also brought in a friend once to do some work that he said gave me a good price ( not so sure ) and I feel he has been sincere but I realize now he also saw this as an opportunity to help his friends get work along with helping me. Whenever there was payment involved it was always discussed beforehand and agreed to .

Glad you figured this out. Cut him and his trashy buddies off.

Originally Posted by vanguardisle

I did not think his friends came to help me move as a favor to me , I thought it was as a favor to him. They have known each other for 15 years and are very close. Since he was willing to do it for free I thought when they took his place they were also since there was no mention of a fee . Helping people move is very commonly done for free among friends. I had some friends where my storage area is I could have called who would have helped me I was planning to call before this new friend offered me his help . And if they could not also come to my new location with me to help me unload the truck what I planned to do was get their help at my storage, tow my car back to my home, my daughter and I ( she is a legal adult not a child ) would then unload most of the things ourselves leaving only the heavy furniture and arrange for someone from uhaul ( they advertise their moving service for $180 an hour) to move the few pieces of furniture that were still left in the truck .

They are friends with the liar and thought you were bait. If it was me, I would report all of them to the police. Who knows how may other poor folks they have scammed? Fnck them.

Originally Posted by vanguardisle

These guys did spend all day with me meeting me at my home in the morning,we drove in my car to the storage area where they helped me load my things, then they drove the uhaul back while I drove my car and helped us unload the truck. They made a lot of mistakes. I had to spend money on a small storage area because all of my things did not fit in the truck . They did not pack it properly. I told them I wanted all the big things that were important to me in first that way there would only have been a few boxes of stuff left over and If I had to I could have simply switched out all the junk type things away from the rest of the stuff into a few separate boxes and left them there and cut my losses. They refused to do it and I didn't complain. I now have to rent a new uhaul to get the rest of my things, but at least they are light weight and I can do it myself . I was very disappointed . I was so upset I started to cry but never did I blame them.

I am starting to get p!ssed off myself, and I want to help you. PM me whatever info you can; they should all be in jail.

Originally Posted by vanguardisle

It gets worse my storage facility also has apparently recently developed a rat problem and put out poison, when I opened my storage there was a dead rotting smelly rat. It was gross and even after the manager took it away there was still a smelly liquid mess he did not clean up, and one of them put my mattress that I sleep on right on top of it! I had to throw out my mattress and now have nothing to sleep on. Again I did not complain to them or say anything since I thought it was an accident.And even when one of them dragged my mother's heirloom quality dresser across the ground until a piece broke off I held my tongue. There is more but you get the idea.

The rat thing is not their problem, but they certainly suck at their "moving job"

Originally Posted by vanguardisle

The amount my friend told me to pay them was $200 . I refused. There they were camped out on my lawn in their pick-up truck refusing to leave until they were paid. I was in a state of shock, all day I had treated them like kind friends. Joked with them, thanked them, felt grateful to them only to find out they only came for my money. I was hurt and angry . At first I wanted to call the police to get them to go away, finally I went up to talk to them about it. I told them they needed to tell me upfront if they wanted to be paid and how much and I had to agree to it. I had to send my friend a message that promising anyone that kind of money without asking me first was not acceptable.

Sounds to me, more and more, like your "buddy" planned this with his trashy friends. Bastards.

Originally Posted by vanguardisle

They have lost more then they have gained. Had they done this as a kind favor for me I would have trusted them, I would have hired them to do work for me for the things I was told they could do well. I would have felt friendship and gratefulness toward them . I had already started to discuss hiring them in the future to work on my home. And they would have had a friend who would have been willing to help them in return. Now I just want them to leave me alone.

Are any of them still bothering you? If so, call the law. Guaranteed, they've all got priors. If they don't, then they certainly deserve them. That guy you keep calling a friend? He's a d!ck. He's your FOE.

[veuvegirl]

This 'friend' totally trying to scam you, definitely time for new friends.

[WoodyWW]

Originally Posted by vanguardisle

Thanks for the replies. Here is the situation and its a strange one. My new friend is actually the former owner of this foreclosure fixer upper home I just bought. I met him when he was visiting the neighbor across the street, he saw me over at my house and came to talk to me. He has a happy ending to his sad story of losing this house and is not bitter about it. He told me he lived here for 15 years and his children grew up here. He still loves the house and said it would make him happy to help me fix it up since it has a lot of problems and money is tight for us and he wants the house to look nice......

This is a bizarre story, & complicated. Now, on top of everything else, it turns out that: your "new friend" has a "sad story of losing this house and is not bitter about it. He told me he lived here for 15 years and his children grew up here. He still loves the house".

Really? He's not bitter that you're living in the house that he lost? And his friends, presumably, know that story as well. And yeah, maybe they did a really shi**y moving job, but what did you expect for "free" from people you didn't even know? I'd give them the blasted $200, in a check, or 2 checks (so you'd have proof you paid them). YOU need to try to resolve this. Not worth it over a lousy $200.

BTW, have you seen the film, "House of Sand and Fog"? Just a thought.

[mdlee3_46041]

I've actually been in a similar situation. I was moving from one house to another house in the same city. I had most of the stuff out, but I still had some of the bigger things to move and was going to do it the next day. The friend that was helping me got super sick and had to go to the hospital. When he called and told me that he couldn't help me the next day, he also told me that he had a couple friends that he thought would help. So I told him to call them and see and then let me know. He called me back and let me know that they'd be at my house the next day at 8am.

When they showed up, the first thing I did was asked them if my friend told them the deal that we had agreed to and they both said no. I explained to them that I wasn't paying him for his help, but I'd pay for dinner when the job was done. One seemed somewhat upset, but still helped and did a good job. The other one seemed more than happy to help even without getting paid. He actually didn't do as well as the one that was upset, but he didn't break anything or steal anything. He was actually joking around a lot and made the job fun, but we could have finished a bit earlier without him goofing off.

So, in my opinion, you didn't handle this in the best way. Since this wasn't the person that offered to help you to begin with, you should have found out what they expected when they showed up. Your friend offered HIS help for free, but the 2 guys that showed up didn't offer anything for free. By establishing the terms when they showed up, I think you would have avoided them being angry with you by setting the terms of the agreement.

You also said it's not unusual for friends to help each other move for free. That is true. The problem with this scenario is that the 2 guys that showed up aren't your friends. They were the friends of the guy that was supposed to help you, but not friends of yours and you talking to one of them a little beforehand doesn't change that fact.

Honestly, when the first guy called and said he couldn't do it, I would have refused his offer of his friends and called my own friends to help me. I couldn't do it in my case because a couple were away on vacation and the rest were at work and I was moving mid-week because it was easier for me.

Also, you said you aren't comfortable being told that you owe money that you never agreed to. I can understand that and I think everybody on here can understand that also. You have to remember though that these guys also did work for you and then after they did it, you informed them that they weren't being paid, which is something they expected. Would you be comfortable if you showed up to work and worked your butt off all day and then your boss came up and told you that you weren't getting paid?

Another question is why did the first friend tell his 2 friends that you would pay them if he was doing the job for free? It sounds to me like if it did happen to be some kind of con, that all 3 of them were in on it, not just the last 2.

[HDL]

In answer to your question - a BIG FAT NO !

I'm not even sure where to begin . You expected people who don't even know you to work for you for free . Momma mia, that's seems really crazy. You're throwing around the word "FRIEND" like you know what it means. These people are not and never were your friends. The man who originally offered his assistance was an acquaintance at best.

Now for most people doing a move, it is pretty much a guessing game as to how large a truck you'll need and how long the move will take. Maybe if it was a couple of boxes and two hours, someone that you just met 'might' help you for free, but what you are asking/expecting is way too much for people who have never met you before and why you thought they were doing it for free doesn't make any sense to me .

You made a mistake as well as the men who helped you, by them not confirming how much you were going to pay them and you not confirming beforehand that they were not expecting pay. But only you knew how much was in your storage unit, how long it might take to move the stuff and how heavy things were, so it would be rather difficult for anyone to be able to quote you a moving price without actually seeing what you needed moving and knowing that it would take all day (8 hrs).

IMO $200 is a steal and you should have paid them and chaulked it up to a learning experience . Next time get your REAL friends to move you or better yet, pay professionals (who would probably be at least 4-5 times what these men were asking).

Originally Posted by sfcambridge

Two people spent all day working for you, moving. They wanted $200. For working all day. Two people. Moving heavy things.

It was your mistake you didn't organize your packing properly into the truck, and get a storage unit large enough for your stuff. I have done this type of move multiple times with many movers and it is YOUR responsibility to be organized and tell them exactly what to do and to be telling them the order to do everything. You always get a unit slightly larger. And you want volunteers you don't even know who are not professional movers who don't have special packing supplies to move your mother's heirloom dresser and you get mad that they damage it?

They wanted $200.

They earned $200.

[vanguardisle]

Hi everyone. The reason I thought they would do it for free is because friends have always helped my family in the past for free with moving, and because I myself have often helped my friends with occasional free babysitting if they were in a bind, and I even once offered to help a friend of a friend pack things for a move. Sorry in advance for the long post.

My new friend is not hurting over losing this house. He truly does have a happy ending. His mother bought a house and has given it to him, I believe they all live there together . It is larger than this one and in good condition. He also now has another job and steady work. I think that maybe he felt bad because they know I paid too much for this house considering all the problems with it, I was mislead by the realtors. He has no issues with his new home and no work to do on it giving him a lot of free time. He knows during the time he owned this house it fell into disrepair. He couldn't afford to fix it and because he was losing it didn't care. Now I think he wanted to make things right. I also think being the one to help me gave him some control over how things on the house he still cared about were done.

Since all payment involving this new friend was always discussed in advanced in the past, and he had one of his friends call me after he had to back out and told me he was coming to help , and the other one of them had even come over to my house with my friend a few days before when he was discussing the move with me, they never mentioned money. My friend also called and said these men were "coming to help me " . I always thought that when someone says they are " helping you " they are not charging you for it. I was actually thinking that my friend was owed some favors by these two and asked them to help me. And when I hired my friend once to do a job for me and also when I hired one of his other friends he recommended to do another job on my house for me, money was always discussed ahead of time. How was I supposed to know that he would make a payment arrangement with them and not tell me about it? Who does he think he is promising them money out of my bank account without asking me first?

I would never have hired them for this. I would rather have proffesionals for one hour at that price and do most of the work ourselves than have two people who do not know what they are doing all day, so I never would have agreed to this arrangement in the first place . When they demanded payment after the move was over it also didn't help that they had made mistakes that damaged my things and cost me money .They are responsible for that. I stilled payed them what I had in my purse and offered to give them more of my things which they refused. I would not however give in to their demands because I felt it was wrong.

My neighbor who is friends with my friend just informed me today that 2 weeks ago my friend had told him to tell me one of the guys who moved me was going to take me to court over this. My neighbor didn't tell me about it because he didn't believe they would go through with it and because he knows that they have no case. I have not received anything in the mail saying I have to appear in small claims court but if I do my neighbor ( and probably several others ) will back me up.

Finally there is an item that has gone missing that was there the day of the move. I did give them some gifts of my things to say thank you but I never offered them that item. I think if one of them took it he must have become confused and saw it lying near the gifts I had given him and thought it was also a gift. I was upset at first but now I have let it all go. I will go to court rather than be intimidated. They see two women living alone (myself and my daughter ) and think they can pressure us? My friend could have told them to back off and I think they would have. My neighbor thinks he is part of this because if I pay them he gets a part of it. I feel disappointed in all of this, I thought they were kind people and now I look like the bad guy?

They have lost more then they have gained as I have said. They lost a friend who would have felt grateful to them, hired them in the future and helped them for free in return. Thank goodness I didn't hire them . Imagine the trouble they could cause ? Also I feel glad things with my new friend have ended a bit. He was coming over and helping me a lot but recently had started calling me baby and becoming flirtatious with me. He is a married man and I was feeling uncomfortable . It is better that his help to me is over.

[convextech]

Girl, those "men" are scam artists. They are threatening you, hoping you will buckle. I have no doubt one of those assclowns stole your item that is missing. I would call the police and file a report. They can put out a BOLO to local pawn shops and they will be arrested. Imagine turning the tables around on those scrubs!

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by convextech

Girl, those "men" are scam artists. They are threatening you, hoping you will buckle. I have no doubt one of those assclowns stole your item that is missing. I would call the police and file a report. They can put out a BOLO to local pawn shops and they will be arrested. Imagine turning the tables around on those scrubs!

I agree. ^^

Lady, please get some street smarts.

Your new friend is NOT your friend. Everything you say about him ... HE told you.

PLEASE be careful about who you let in your life in your new place. Being low on funds does not mean you have to let yourself be victimized.

These guys ALL scammed you.

Do not let him work on your house anymore. He is probably casing the place every time. You are lucky the movers left you unharmed, and I would NOT be surprised if they came back and robbed your house someday.

[lae60]

i think that your neighbor who lived by your so called friend probably knows your friend's character well and is correct that your friend was part of a scam to take advantage of you. And yes, it could go further, he sees a single lady who owes him 'favors' and has little $. Well, what do you think he will accept for payment?


And yeah, he owned the house and had those good ol' friends, but when he owned it never did fix it, even with his friend's help....now he and his friends will fix it? hmmm, yeah...

Take off the blinders, look around and smell the coffee

[vanguardisle]

You are all correct there was something very wrong with the friendship from the start. I have not seen or heard from my friend since the day of the move and I will not accept any further help from him. I also found out that in my county in Florida you have to be served by a sherriff if you are being taken to small claims court you cant receive it in the mail and I have not been served. I guess they were just bluffing.

My neighbor has known this former friend for 15 years. He says that he has done both good and bad things in his life but wouldnt go into any details since he doesnt want to talk bad about him, and I didnt ask.He does think that he did genuinely want to help me but that he also wanted to help himself and his friends.

I had thought it would make him happy to help fix up his former home but I think maybe it was also confusing to him. He worked on this house for 15 years he doesnt have to work on it anymore. He can let it go and move on and I think he should.

I have learned my lesson. And from now on I will only hire people that are recommended to me by their customers, not their relatives, not the people that work with them, and not their good friends!

My neighbor tells me that he has personally been ripped off by tradesmen and handymen around here numerous times. He says to be very careful who you trust in this city. I see now it is better to be safe rather than sorry. What a shame people dont want to help each other anymore.