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Old 10-13-2014, 12:35 PM
 
405 posts, read 480,439 times
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The problem with many of these "I moved out of state and I hate it" topics is that many people move to a new place and expect it to be just the same as their old place, just maybe different weather. I'm not saying that this is necessarily your issue, but that's the way many of these topics play out.

If you are homesick, or simply trying to make Denver just like Houston was, then you probably haven't made many friends. If homesick, you probably haven't been very cheerful when dealing with others and that will make them cringe at the thought of having to spend anymore time with you than absolutely necessary. If you're trying to make Denver more like Houston, then nobody really wants to hear about how their city isn't as good as another city. It will even make people wonder if Houston is so great, then why did you leave there to begin with?

I guess my point here is that for whatever reason, you probably haven't given a fair chance. Get to know your neighbors and allow them to get to know you. Try out some new restaurants and ask other people their favorite places to eat. Get out of whatever routine you've settled into so you can really try to experience all of what Denver has to offer.

I am curious about one thing though. You mentioned the crime rate as something you fell in love with in Denver. How do you love the crime rate after just a few visits? Is it because you weren't a victim of a crime? I go to Chicago on a fairly regular basis and have never been the victim of a crime there, but that doesn't mean that Chicago has a low crime rate. On my way to Chicago, I pass through Gary, IN and often have to stop there for one reason or another at all hours of the day and have never been the victim of a crime there either. I go to Indianapolis on a regular basis and last year and this year, the murder rate in Indy has been similar to Chicago's and guess what? I haven't been murdered yet. The town I live in has a pretty low crime rate, but I've had my fence vandalized, my garage broken into and my lawn mower and some tools stolen, my car broken into, my tires slashed, and what appears to be a bullet hole through my front window, but I've never been able to find a bullet or even a rock that could have made it. If you're going by what you see on the news and in the newspaper, that doesn't necessarily mean anything either. Many people are afraid to report certain crimes because they are afraid of retaliation from the criminals (often gangs in this case), they don't trust the police, they are embarrassed that it happened to them, or they are afraid that their insurance premiums will raise or they will have their policy cancelled. Depending on the policy and the item that they are trying to get replaced/repaired, it is often cheaper to just buy a new item yourself than it is to pay the deductible and/or higher premiums.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:21 AM
 
4,885 posts, read 5,396,253 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sfe11 View Post
I guess the positive side to all of this is that I would've never found out I'd hate it here if we hadn't moved and would have always wondered what if.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Ag 93 View Post
There is something to this, and David's similar statement. Denver is great, but there is indeed something superficial about it. Almost like everyone is visiting from somewhere else, and to some degree, that is exactly it. Such a small % of people here are natives, and so few families have multiple generations here, that it sometimes seems like everyone is just passing through and the city lacks in a defined personality.
^^^sfell, we also made a move 2 years ago. We researched and researched, visited and made the
conclusion it would be a good place for us. Although it hasn't worked out for us (for many reasons)
I can't dwell on we shouldn't of moved for the same reasons as you.
Texas Ag kind of touches on one big reason why it is difficult for us. Unfortunately, since we are
older our biggest concern is where to go (somewhere in the Midwest). I know where I want to move
but the COL is a bit high for us (since we live/lived in a low COL state).
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Old 10-15-2014, 12:43 PM
 
23 posts, read 131,212 times
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Thanks everyone for the advice. As for how I found out it's safer here, it wasn't based off of personal experience but off of observation. In Denver there's all kinds of people walking the streets even at night. The only people walking the streets in Houston are homeless people that are mostly on drugs. The people we talked to in the area we stayed at have never heard of a house break in in the area, while that was a normality in every place we lived at in Houston.

I also make sure that I never say anything about how Texas is better than Colorado, because I honestly don't believe that's true. Both places are good in their own way and I always tell people how I love the scenery here and the weather. I've talked to some of my current neighbors and we got along despite them making rude side way comments about TX. I do feel like it's easier to talk to people in TX but that could be because I'm just not too familiar with Coloradans yet.

I think a big part of the reason I want to go back is that our jobs don't require travelling in TX and I miss that. It's hard to imagine having to travel every other week permanently (There's just not enough work here in our field to keep us from travelling to other areas that do). I also think I'm one of those people that get attached to a place and have a hard time connecting to other places no matter how good or better they are.
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Old 10-15-2014, 01:24 PM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,727 posts, read 26,711,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sfe11 View Post
Thanks everyone for the advice. As for how I found out it's safer here, it wasn't based off of personal experience but off of observation. In Denver there's all kinds of people walking the streets even at night. The only people walking the streets in Houston are homeless people that are mostly on drugs. The people we talked to in the area we stayed at have never heard of a house break in in the area, while that was a normality in every place we lived at in Houston.

I also make sure that I never say anything about how Texas is better than Colorado, because I honestly don't believe that's true. Both places are good in their own way and I always tell people how I love the scenery here and the weather. I've talked to some of my current neighbors and we got along despite them making rude side way comments about TX. I do feel like it's easier to talk to people in TX but that could be because I'm just not too familiar with Coloradans yet.

I think a big part of the reason I want to go back is that our jobs don't require travelling in TX and I miss that. It's hard to imagine having to travel every other week permanently (There's just not enough work here in our field to keep us from travelling to other areas that do). I also think I'm one of those people that get attached to a place and have a hard time connecting to other places no matter how good or better they are.
Houston is extremely sprawled out, probably less need for walking, and likely less walkability. Denver has many walkable neighborhoods and above average transit, which may be the reason you see more people walking about. I've lived here for 7+ years, in 4 different places, and have never been broken into (knock on wood).

You have to watch what you say with these folks, there is no better way to get people to scram than to mention California, and I imagine the same would be true when one mentions Texas. Seriously, become a Broncos fan, that's your only inroad.

Maybe you need a job change?
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Old 10-15-2014, 02:25 PM
 
405 posts, read 480,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sfe11 View Post
I also make sure that I never say anything about how Texas is better than Colorado, because I honestly don't believe that's true.
That's good and I wasn't saying you were necessarily doing that, but often when one of these topics is posted, you can tell that the person thinks their old place is better than their new place. Many of these posts, you wonder why the person moved at all if they had any choice at all in the matter. I've actually been guilty of doing that, but not in a post. I was living in Arizona and a neighbor told me something and I just blurted out something like, "Oh well we didn't do it that way in Indiana." I knew as soon as I said it that I shouldn't have said it that way. I should have said something like, "Oh I didn't know you could do that here" or "Oh ok, I didn't know that, but now do. Thanks."

It's also true that some cities are just more walkable than others. I haven't been to Houston or Denver, other than the airports, but that doesn't count. I do know people that have been to both and my boss even lived in Houston for a little bit before moving to San Antonio. They've all said that they felt more comfortable walking in Denver than they did in Houston, but we all know that living someplace is a lot different than visiting that place. So somebody that feels comfortable walking in a place their visiting may only be doing so because they don't know any better. When you live there, you're more likely to know about the types of things that happen in a neighborhood and will then change how they feel about walking or even being out late.
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Old 10-16-2014, 09:01 PM
 
23 posts, read 131,212 times
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It's true that Denver is more walkable than Houston but that doesn't change the fact that the crime rate is higher in Houston than Denver (According to statistics I read online...etc) but that would still not stop me from going back to Houston, we'll just have to be very picky about the area/suburb and take our time in finding a home. I still make sure I never say anything about TX to people here, unless I'm being asked because I know most are fed up with us Texans and Californians. I also watch what I say when I am being asked. I think that if I had made an effort to befriend people then I would have made some good connections, but I do have that lack of desire/effort due to the fact that I don't see myself staying here long term due to travelling and homesickness.

As for changing jobs just to stay here, that would mean starting from scratch and settling for a minimum wage job for both of us (Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that we've spent a good time advancing in our careers and it's hard to just click a restart button) I don't think either of us are willing to go through all that just to be able to stay here and not travel.

The thought of moving back was a little scary at first, it made me sad and confused and I was so unsure but the thought of staying was a lot worse. I am now at peace with moving back and I think it would be best for my husband and I and even our dogs. Thinking of the process of having to sell our current house and buying a new one again makes me cringe....not to mention having to move our belongings all over again....argh but you gotta do what you gotta do
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Old 10-16-2014, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
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Do what feels good. Good luck.
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Old 10-18-2014, 06:48 AM
 
10,599 posts, read 15,828,640 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sfe11 View Post
It's true that Denver is more walkable than Houston but that doesn't change the fact that the crime rate is higher in Houston than Denver (According to statistics I read online...etc) but that would still not stop me from going back to Houston, we'll just have to be very picky about the area/suburb and take our time in finding a home. I still make sure I never say anything about TX to people here, unless I'm being asked because I know most are fed up with us Texans and Californians. I also watch what I say when I am being asked. I think that if I had made an effort to befriend people then I would have made some good connections, but I do have that lack of desire/effort due to the fact that I don't see myself staying here long term due to travelling and homesickness.

As for changing jobs just to stay here, that would mean starting from scratch and settling for a minimum wage job for both of us (Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that we've spent a good time advancing in our careers and it's hard to just click a restart button) I don't think either of us are willing to go through all that just to be able to stay here and not travel.

The thought of moving back was a little scary at first, it made me sad and confused and I was so unsure but the thought of staying was a lot worse. I am now at peace with moving back and I think it would be best for my husband and I and even our dogs. Thinking of the process of having to sell our current house and buying a new one again makes me cringe....not to mention having to move our belongings all over again....argh but you gotta do what you gotta do
Quote:
sfe11 Thanks everyone for the advice. As for how I found out it's safer here, it wasn't based off of personal experience but off of observation. In Denver there's all kinds of people walking the streets even at night. The only people walking the streets in Houston are homeless people that are mostly on drugs. The people we talked to in the area we stayed at have never heard of a house break in in the area, while that was a normality in every place we lived at in Houston.
The statistics and demographics about every city are available right here on City Data, and it's actually the point of this site (albeit they run a year or two behind). Including the crime rates.

The only thing you WON'T see spelled out is that Houston got at least 250K evacuees from NOLA after hurricane Katrina and they never figured out how many stayed. But the crime rate was just the same before and after Katrina according to these charts. (except for a spike in murders that went down afterwards)

//www.city-data.com/city/Houston-Texas.html

//www.city-data.com/city/Denver-Colorado.html

Denver's crime rate is over the national average but Houston's' is about 69% greater than Denver's. The per capita income in Houston is 26K in Houston but 35K in Denver. Denver is only 153 sq miles compared to Houston at 579 sq miles.

And yes, Denver has burglaries but fewer. It's all on the links above.

But I think you have to consider that even though the crime data is based on math of "per 100K people"...Houston has a population of 2 Million people compared to Denver with 635K.

Plus ALL your Southern states have goofball transients flocking there like my state, Florida LOL.

It'll be interesting to see if the CO. crime data trends downward with more pot smokers and increased revenue from the sales of it.
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Old 10-18-2014, 07:14 AM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,941 posts, read 10,093,966 times
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The longer you have a negative attitude, the longer it will take you to adjust. I only learned that after a number of moves in the US. In the best of spirits, it took me and a growing family 9-12 months to feel comfortable in almost any place. When i moved to Denmark 19 years ago, I really had to force myself to be overly positive and to make the most of every good situation i encountered. It took about a year-and-a-half. In the meantime, I've met more Americans who have immigrated to Denmark who finally left than stayed. In every case, they couldn't overcome their negative feelings which propelled them further and further down.

My only substantive advice: get a job and give it your best shot.

Good luck.
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Old 10-19-2014, 07:58 AM
 
8,743 posts, read 5,246,657 times
Reputation: 18842
Default Sometimes you just have to do what's best in the long run.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sfe11 View Post
Thanks everyone for the advice. As for how I found out it's safer here, it wasn't based off of personal experience but off of observation. In Denver there's all kinds of people walking the streets even at night. The only people walking the streets in Houston are homeless people that are mostly on drugs. The people we talked to in the area we stayed at have never heard of a house break in in the area, while that was a normality in every place we lived at in Houston.

I also make sure that I never say anything about how Texas is better than Colorado, because I honestly don't believe that's true. Both places are good in their own way and I always tell people how I love the scenery here and the weather. I've talked to some of my current neighbors and we got along despite them making rude side way comments about TX. I do feel like it's easier to talk to people in TX but that could be because I'm just not too familiar with Coloradans yet.

I think a big part of the reason I want to go back is that our jobs don't require travelling in TX and I miss that. It's hard to imagine having to travel every other week permanently (There's just not enough work here in our field to keep us from travelling to other areas that do). I also think I'm one of those people that get attached to a place and have a hard time connecting to other places no matter how good or better they are.
After moving from cajun Louisiana to Dallas, I HATED it. Detested it. The brown grass, the extreme heat, the glaring sun, the lack of trees and natural waterways and lakes, the miles and miles of cement highways, the lack of a culture that I fit into, and other things. But I stayed. And I stayed. I was busy working to make a living. I'd determined that this was the best place for me to earn a decent living, as close to my birth home as possible. So I just made the best of it.

I gradually came to like aspects of Dallas. But it took me many years. Over 10 years. Maybe 15. During which time I planted fig trees and watched them die, a magnolia tree (and watched it die), shrubs & other plants (and watched them die from the heat and horrible soil). I got used to my ice cream being melted in the short ride from the store to my house. I got into the routine of heavy sun block, sunglasses & hats from June through September and longer. But the people are friendly, IMO, and you can buy anything on sale because there's so much competition here, and the roadways are well planned; you can really get around town, if you know the jams to avoid. (Houston, by contrast, has atrocious traffic, the roadways not being well planned.) Dallas is also very clean for a large city. And the economy is awesome!

Sometimes you just have to do what is necessary to achieve a goal, and make the best of it. I made friends, bought a house, built a life. Would I have been happier in Houston? Since the economy there was bad at the time I moved, I don't know. If I could do it over, I'd probably move to Houston. But that's in the past.

Now I'm semi-retired, and I can move. I actually find myself a bit sad to leave Dallas and my little, quirky house and my friends. People usually adjust to whatever they have to do, wherever they have to live, I think.
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