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Old 11-27-2014, 05:38 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,016 posts, read 20,899,704 times
Reputation: 32530

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I did not read the linked article, but I did read all the posts in the thread so far. This is a good, legitimate discussion regardless of how poor the article is.

In general, people who have never moved are more provincial and small-minded than those who have moved because moving (more often than not) involves learning, broadening, and experiencing new things. But that is not always true, which is why I bolded "in general".

First, a lot depends on where one lives. It is easier and more likely to develop a cosmopolitan outlook in a cosmopolitan place, such as London, Paris, New York City, Los Angeles, or Washington, D.C. But that is not guaranteed, as plenty of people who live in those and other cities never partake of the cultural richness (never go to the museums, for example) and may live in insular neighborhoods anyway.

Conversely, one can live in a small town but still read a lot, travel, see sophisticated films through Netflix, and so on.

Also, many people are very content with their limitations because they have no desire for learning, broadening, or losing their provincialism. I don't understand such people, but there are a lot of them. Well, maybe I do understand them to a limited extent, as I realize it's very nice to have a support system in place. One can move too often and wind up totally rootless. Some children who are uprooted often in childhood learn never to get close to anyone, and learn never to form attachments, and that is sad.

So this is an issue with lots of aspects, as already noted by several posters.
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Old 11-30-2014, 11:17 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
24,097 posts, read 32,443,737 times
Reputation: 68288
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElleTea View Post
Twice in your entire life? As in you have only lived in 2 residences or do you mean 2 cities?
No. I am not speaking of moves within a particular city, or region. For example, we moved several times within Long Island before deciding to leave the state.

The first move was well researched, and we had passed through the area on numerous occasions.
Ultimately, it was a poor fit. But I don't "regret" the move.

When it didn't work out, we moved again. No biggie. So far we really like it. If I ever do not, I'd not hesitate to move again.

There is no shame in moving. And, if someone wants to move a lot, as long as they do so responsibly, it is none of my business - or anyone else's.
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Old 12-01-2014, 07:59 AM
 
Location: coastlines
372 posts, read 533,739 times
Reputation: 978
Polarized statements like that can be incendiary, and the answer is, "It depends."

I've moved multiple times for multiple reasons, work, husband, family health needs, education.

And I've worked intimately with people who have moved extensively.

Moving just to move, because "staying is settling" can make a mess of things, and leave you disoriented and lost.

Thinking "the grass is greener" on the other side can leave you stepping in a mess.

If you have a desire to move, explore your impulse. If it's simply escape, make your current place better by improving yourself so your issues don't follow you.

Then follow your inspiration and your dream, believe in yourself when it's difficult (because it will be), and never, ever give up.

There is much to cherish about moving, and staying.
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Old 12-01-2014, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
16,289 posts, read 32,333,368 times
Reputation: 21891
Quote:
Originally Posted by 601halfdozen0theother View Post
You DID leave home.

So you just proved our point.
OK so you guys win. I didn't look at it like that as I was always going back to the place I grew up.

I moved to taft to make some fast money so I could serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I lived with a family I knew when I was there. Wasn't exactly living on my own but OK. I always planned to go back home to my parents home before I left on my Mission. I did spend two years on a Mission living with another Missionary during that time frame so Yes I guess living on my own I did learn a lot doing just that, but at the same time while on a Mission you still have this fealing that your home is back where you came from. I guess it would be the same if you went away to school, you may still have this idea that home is where you are from and the school is just untill you finish. So yes I did leave for a little while. I returned because where I live there is so much opportunity.

I guess in my mind I don't see that as getting away like you would if you were moving to another area with the intent to maybe never come back. I always knew that I would be back. Once I got back from my Mission I moved back to my parents home for a couple years before moving out for good.
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Old 12-02-2014, 07:07 PM
 
Location: In the Endless Mountains
18,530 posts, read 1,427,870 times
Reputation: 2439
In my life I've traveled quite a bit: to Europe, South Asia (lived there for 4 years), Caribbean, Michigan and have totally enjoyed the places where we were. I was contented for the time the Lord allowed us to be in these places. But my mood seems to be changing as I am looking towards my wife's retirement and a possible move to Southern ID, as the Lord would will it to be. Where we are living now, is the longest time we've ever lived.
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Old 12-03-2014, 06:43 AM
 
10,624 posts, read 26,726,665 times
Reputation: 6776
I've moved plenty of times (5+), but I don't think staying put is "settling." I enjoy moving and do find it an adventure (although am, I hope, settled for the next decade or so) but it's possible to be open to new experiences in other ways than physically uprooting. Not to mention that one is also giving up certain experiences when moving frequently; there are some things that come with time. Honestly, the article comes across as a bit immature albeit enthusiastic, the kind of thing that sounds like it was written by a 20-something old recent graduate excited about all the possibilities in the world. Absolutely nothing wrong with that--but also perhaps not the person best suited for giving larger, grand "this is how you should live your life" retrospectives.

And my personal pet peeve are those who flippantly say things like "if you want to live in Spain, you should just move there," and ignore all the realities of things like visas.)

In any case, I think moving is great and it has helped me to hone in on what I like and don't like when it comes to a neighborhood or city, and to appreciate each location's unique positives and negatives -- but I don't by any means think that moving is the only way to have an interesting life, or that one is automatically settling if one doesn't move frequently. I also don't like the air of smug superiority in the article.
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Old 12-07-2014, 02:47 AM
 
383 posts, read 429,673 times
Reputation: 843
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post
I did not read the linked article, but I did read all the posts in the thread so far. This is a good, legitimate discussion regardless of how poor the article is.
It definitely is. I've stayed with the thread since it started and never read the original article.
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Old 12-07-2014, 05:59 AM
 
Location: Midwest
1,540 posts, read 1,124,644 times
Reputation: 2542
I think most people stay where they are because there is no compelling reason to move, its too much work or they don't want to leave the comforts of family, friends and familiar...
Its kinda like be careful what your first job is...You may end up staying in it for the rest of your life....
I am 62, married, have no kids and lived in Central Pa all of my life.. Once my parents and my husbands parents passed away we could live anywhere we wanted....I researched places for a year and we ended up moving 800 mile away to Michigan because we love snowy winters. If we would have stayed in Pa I definitely feel like I would have been settling. I was eager to try something new and I didn't want to spend my whole life in one state...(nor end up dying there too!!).The timing was right and I couldn't have left my mom by herself in Pa after my dad died in 1994....
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Old 12-09-2014, 05:21 AM
 
383 posts, read 429,673 times
Reputation: 843
Quote:
Originally Posted by 68551 View Post
I think most people stay where they are because there is no compelling reason to move, its too much work or they don't want to leave the comforts of family, friends and familiar...
Its kinda like be careful what your first job is...You may end up staying in it for the rest of your life....
I am 62, married, have no kids and lived in Central Pa all of my life.. Once my parents and my husbands parents passed away we could live anywhere we wanted....I researched places for a year and we ended up moving 800 mile away to Michigan because we love snowy winters. If we would have stayed in Pa I definitely feel like I would have been settling. I was eager to try something new and I didn't want to spend my whole life in one state...(nor end up dying there too!!).The timing was right and I couldn't have left my mom by herself in Pa after my dad died in 1994....
68551, these coincidences just keep getting odder an odder. My father also died in 1994, and I hung around for my mother as well--until she died in 2012. I'm going to PM you, because I'm experiencing some difficulties acclimatizing myself to the 800-mile-north move.

But I also love snowy winters and am currently attributing most of my problems acclimatizing myself to 1) age and 2) unacknowledged homesickness. To stay on-topic: would I have been settling if I stayed in PA? You bet. In fact, all the neighbors I gave literally thousands of dollars of belonging to have already stopped emailing me or referencing me on their social media. There's a stress that develops between those who leave and those they leave behind, no matter how much good feeling had been there initially. I attribute this to that Seinfeld phenomenon (on the nursing home, Lloyd Bridges' episode): "You think you're better than me?"
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