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Hello,
I feel like such an idiot. In the eight years that i have been living on my own, i have moved 7 times (5 different cities 3 in one state 2 in another) (3 times were in same apt complex just bigger apts each time) each time was for better living situations or the neighbors or neighborhood didnt work out. but even when I moved from one state to another, I feel as though I'm no better off. ( i was stupid and thought the grass was greener in the new state and its not)When I go back to my hometown, I see all my old friends still there and living exactly as they did when I left. it seems like I'm the only one who was stupid enough to leave and lately its been driving me very crazy that i feel ive blown all these yrs for nothing.
Bottom line. Has anyone ever had a similar experience? I need to know I'm not the only one struggling to come to terms with what a big waste of my life this has been trying to forge my own path.
Yeah, there was a period of time I moved a lot. For nearly two years, it was military related. After, I moved cross country to finish college and then moved into different houses in different towns near my college nearly every semester. Then I moved a couple of times the year after graduating, then moved abroad where I moved around several times. In between all of that I was constantly going on small trips. Finally moved back to the states, six months later moved back to my hometown.
I've been here a couple of years now and have simply moved apartments, but my life has been completely stagnant and very unhealthy in general. Everyone I knew growing up is still doing the same thing, few have left. I may not have had a lot to show for my life when I returned and I also may have screwed up a whole bunch of stuff, but I can not at all regret all that moving around. Some of it was a waste, but a lot of it was great learning experiences. I actually wish I had never returned. I come from a small, poor rural area where half of the people are religious fundamentalists and the other half addicts. This period of time back home has been a huge regret with the only saving grace being that I became pregnant and choosing to have the baby kicked my ass into gear. I'm getting out of here asap.
I'm 31. I am still nowhere near figuring out how to forge my own path, but I am glad that I spent all that time moving around because it's taught me that my path is not where I grew up.
OP, I think if your wandering does bother you, it's might be a good idea to sit and really think about what it is you are looking for. Are you looking for 'home'? Are you looking because looking is fun? And so on and so forth.
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