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Old 10-05-2015, 03:40 PM
 
150 posts, read 185,453 times
Reputation: 211

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Hmmm. If you had come here and posted that you'd missed Florida all along and wanted to go back now that the 2 years are up, I'd say "go for it!" without any hesitation.

But you say this homesickness is new, and your actions back this up - surely you wouldn't have gotten 4K into building a house if you'd wanted to move back to Florida the whole time.

So what tipped the scale? Was it your brother-in-law moving back to Florida? Was it your wedding? Is panic setting in now that you are building the house and therefore somewhat committed to the area?

I guess my advice is to try and figure out why you feel this way before you make a decision - figure out if the homesickness is REAL or just temporary, you know?

Florida is gorgeous in November, and everything is exciting and fun when you are going back to get married. Regular daily life is much less exciting. Would FL be so great in, say, the dog days of August? Would it be possible to swing longer or more frequent visits before you decide on a move?

 
Old 10-07-2015, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Naples, FL
351 posts, read 487,158 times
Reputation: 531
I like the idea of an extended vacation in FL. As another poster said, you may find that the FL you see now is not the FL that is in your memory.

Or then again, perhaps your husband will realize he wants to return!
 
Old 10-07-2015, 09:17 PM
 
8 posts, read 19,628 times
Reputation: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by bande1102 View Post
IMO, lack of friends (for me would translate to loneliness and possibly feeling isolated) and not liking the weather are quality of life issues that should be resolved. In other woods, those seem like pretty good reasons (to me, anyway) to move.
This is exactly it! I feel extremely isolated and lonely.

Quote:
OP, that's a lot of money just because you don't have "friends" (and you're missing the weather). And if you move back, you may not have "friends" there, either, plus with the economy in FL is down and going, which is why costs are so low. Stay in CO for now if you can.

I would suggest:

1) Take a week-long vacation to FL -- chances are, you'll see what you remember isn't so cool now.
2) Try some different activities in CO -- try a cooking or wine tasting class or volunteer to build a house with Habitat for Humanity (if that fits with your values)
3) Find other interests that you can do alone or with your husband
I do have a trip to visit Florida (by myself) for a weekend in the next 2 weeks, which I am extremely excited about! My husband and I have tried some outings, via meetup.com, to try and meet other people with similar interests, but never made any real friends that would want to hang out outside of the meetup group. I do try and keep myself busy at home, playing video games or watching Netflix, since my husband works nights, he sleeps during the day (even on his days up). Other things that I would love to do, would be to go to clubs and dance, and have a "girls night". My husband doesnt like clubs (which is fine), and I obviously have stated that I have no friends here, so I cant very well have a "girls night".

Quote:
People are really unstable these days! It's a really bad idea to count on them. Try to be content with yourself, first.
I am very content with who I am. I just like to have more to my life than work and home. I like to be able to call up a friend and ask "hey, wanna go out and do something" or "hey, wanna come over". Here, I dont have that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bande1102 View Post
Just curious, what triggered your desire to go back to Florida? If you both got to the point of building a new house, it would seem that you were looking forward to planning your future in Colorado?
What triggered my desire to go back to Florida is that, my parents are getting up in age (they are almost 80) and have numerous health issues, and since family is so important to me, and my husband and I would like to have children in the next few years, I always wanted to be close enough to my family and his family for them to be able to spend as much time with their grandchildren as possible (especially my parents). We had first started "looking" for a home over a year ago, but with the housing market out here, as soon as we found a place we liked and wanted to see, it was either under contract or sold. Before we knew it, our wedding was right around the corner and so delayed getting a house until after the wedding. Something I only recently had the courage to tell my husband was that after we arrived back in Florida from our honeymoon (which was a cruise to the Bahamas), I didnt want to go back to Colorado...being back in Florida, I felt like i was home. I was even thinking before getting off the cruise ship that we would be going back to our apartment we had when we still lived in Florida. I felt very depressed when we had to get on the plane to come back to Colorado. The ONLY reason I was happy to come back to Colorado, was to see my dogs.

My husband did say to me that he had wished that I had told him how I had felt sooner. So I realize that that's my own fault. I just wanted to try so hard to make it work here for him and his job, but its gotten to the point that I feel like I am in a daily time loop. I wake up, go to work, come home, take care of the dogs, go to bed. Rinse and repeat. With the exception of Sundays when my husband and I take a trip to see the house, maybe go out to lunch, then come home, and he goes to bed.

Now the other issue is that my husband is so dead set on getting a house, he would rather take the risk of the possibility losing money when we try and sell the house in a year then stay another year in an apartment. I would rather not take the risk, and just stay where we are for another year, and I dont even like our apartment complex.
 
Old 10-07-2015, 09:26 PM
 
414 posts, read 396,554 times
Reputation: 481
I would suggest that you all Live with no regrets. Follow your hearts. It will likely cost more to relocate than you have suggested. Think higher moving costs, moving supplies, connection fees for various utilities, and purchasing items for a different home. I would get reasonable estimates before having your sit down. I agree, moving to be closer to those you care about is valid if you can swing it.
 
Old 10-07-2015, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Back and Beyond
2,992 posts, read 4,265,274 times
Reputation: 7207
My view on Florida is bias and negative because I grew up there for 20 years.... After moving out west (colorado, Arizona and now Alaska) I would never want to return. It is an overcrowded peninsula that is god awful humid and hot for 8 months of the year. Crowded, transient and filled with low paying jobs.

I understand your desire for family. But moving from Colorado to florida would be tough. If you decide not to move there are plane tickets for ~$250 round trip from Denver to Florida. You will eventually meet more friends in Colorado if you keep putting yourselves out there. Once you return "home" you'll realize all the things that made you want to move in the first place. Moving from CO to FL is the equilvalent of going from a brand new BMW to a mid 90's geo metro.

Anyways good luck on whatever you choose.
 
Old 10-07-2015, 10:35 PM
 
Location: Florida
9,569 posts, read 5,562,557 times
Reputation: 12023
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingHome88 View Post
Finances are a big thing for him. And I know that cost of living (at least in the area we would move back to) is less than it is here in Colorado. So I am hoping that maybe that can help convince him. I plan on us sitting down this weekend and seriously talking it over. Since our house is still being built, we still have the option to back out before we get closer to closing on it. Sure, we would be out around 4K, but we'd be able to use the money that we would have used for the down payment for the move back, which we already have saved up.
The other issue we may run into is how his parents and my parents would look at that decision. I hear at least once a day from my parents that moving out here was the best thing we could have done, and that we would be stupid if we went back to Florida...I guess that's just something we'll have to deal with :/
Are you here to placate your parents & In-Laws opinions? Or are you trying to live your life where you are happy? Forget their opinions and follow your heart. You obviously are not happy were you are even to take a financial loss. Life is too short to be miserable and if you can afford it go ahead and move back to Florida.
PS : See if your husband can get re-hired again at his old company too & maybe there can be tax write-offs too but talk to your husband to make sure he wants to move too.
Good Luck from a fellow Floridian!
 
Old 10-09-2015, 01:35 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,071,294 times
Reputation: 11796
I think it's hard to find the balance between realizing no place is perfect and making the most of where you are at, but also realizing life is short and if you're really not happy where you're at and you think you could be happier somewhere else, then it's worth looking into. I lived in Colorado for 2 1/2 years. There was a lot I liked about living there, but I found the long winters taxing. Blizzards in May are not for me. I missed being close to the ocean. What I did like about it were some of the amazing friends I made. I made some friends at work, and I made two great friends right here on CD! If you can make just a few friends, then they introduce you other friends, and before you know it you do have people to meet for a drink or go shopping with. Makes a huge difference having a social circle!

My only real advice is do NOT go through with buying this house if you have doubts. Stay put in your apartment another year, and come back to the idea later if you choose to stay.
 
Old 10-09-2015, 02:30 PM
 
8 posts, read 19,628 times
Reputation: 18
We are discussing not going through with buying the house, and staying in our apartment for another year, but he's really resistant to that idea. I appreciate all the feedback and advice from everyone! You all have been so helpful, and have given me alot of "food for thought". Thank you!
 
Old 10-10-2015, 06:37 PM
 
43 posts, read 111,244 times
Reputation: 49
Do you have kids? I also love Florida and am relocating. Part of what gives me peace is providing my son with safer neighborhoods and better schools. If you have kids you may want to consider their quality of life and opportunities. You mention aging parents and that is the biggest reason I am sad...I'm having to leave them.

Also not sure if you work, volunteer, etc. I know I have to put myself out there to make new friends and build a life where we are moving too. Otherwise I will hate it.
 
Old 10-11-2015, 06:28 AM
 
465 posts, read 415,405 times
Reputation: 957
I understand your desire to move back. I would caution against the constant moving...if it becomes habitual...especially considering the wasted money on supporting moves.

Being close to family:
Being close to family is great in the fact that it helps build a strong support structure. For me personally, being away from my family has actually helped my marriage because our families can be intrusive at times. For us, we like the fact that family has to plan before visiting, dropping by at a moments notice is something that my wife and I don't like. I guess it depends on the family.

Schools:
I don't remember reading anything in your post about children. My experience is the public schools in the south are interesting. Many of my friends send their children to private schools. This potential bill will raise the cost of living.

Happiness:
The long winters will limited sun light are not fun. I lived in state that had blizzards in May and that drove me crazy too. When May comes around most people are mentally tired of snow and want some warm weather. This does become a significant issue. If your not happy then you need to move.

Long term Happiness:
You voiced your concerns to your husband so I don't think there is anyway that you can stay in Colorado. You test drove Colorado for 2 years, which is far enough time to realize that you don't like it. My uncle made a similar move many years ago. He moved from the Ohio to Florida After a few years in Ohio, my aunt started pushing hard for Florida...she literally drove my uncle crazy. Eventually my uncle made the move to Florida. My uncle and aunt are very happy now, but not without some bumps and bruises. The bumps and bruises will vary per couple so I highly recommend writing down a list of negatives and positives that BOTH agree on. Because I know my uncle still misses Ohio and wishes that he stayed there...but he accepts it because he loves my aunt. My point here is don't flip flop and work together...and don't be like my aunt..."I'm not happy no one is happy" approach.
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