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Thank you for your advice... I do care about her happiness, I know that if I leave she will never let it go. I don't want to ruin our relationship or feel guilty.
Good luck on this score, my friend, because you have already been put into exactly that situation.
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I want t go back to school and she doesn't agree with that either. she thinks I should get a job in corporate.
You haven't said how old you are and what education, etc. you already have. Lack of that knowledge makes it a bit difficult to make intelligent comments on the above situation. But, on the other hand, what qualifies your mother to give the advice she has?
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She will say do what you want but then say why it's not a good idea. I don't really know how to approach it. I want to prove to her that I can do it.
Your mother wants what she wants, and you want to prove to her that what you want is better. What a totally crappy tug-of-war. You shouldn't need to prove anything to her, you need to make some well considered decisions on the life you want for yourself, including where you want to live it.
As you have described your situation it sounds like a Mommie trying her damnedest to keep her sonny boy tied to her apron strings. Probably one of the ugliest relationships in the world to be in. Good luck.
I would do some research about how to proceed with course work on nutrition in the U.S. How would you finance that? Would you work and go to school part time? Or, would you borrow money? Where would you live and go to school?
Do the upfront research about your career path, and then present your decision to your mom. Explain why you should go back to the States, and how you have decided to pursue your career. If you have a clear path, and you are positive this is what you want to do, then I don't see how your mom could object.
However, if you are counting on your mom financing your airfare, your course work and/or living expenses, I do see her point. It would be cheaper to remain in England. I think the biggest obstacle is how you would finance your course work. If you can figure this out, and certainly, you should be able to research this online, then I think you are on firm footing to return to the States.
It depends.
Is your mother's happiness of importance to you? Then give her the year. She will quite likely appreciate it. However, if you are going to make her life miserable by complaining about being stuck there for a year, leave now.
If you are more concerned about YOUR happiness than hers, go back to New York.
(Personally, I can't imagine wanting to live there!)
Stop seeing it as trying to settle down in a new country, see it as an awesome exotic extended holiday based in the midst of tourism central.
I and millions of my compatriates have had an absolute ball spending a year or two living, working and travelling in the UK after we finish uni. It's awesome. So much to see and do so close by for so cheap. For the rest if your life no two week holiday will ever compare. Get a job in a bar or something and travel as soon as you save enough. A year working in the UK and a car and a tent in Europe. That is something no American ever gets, make the most of it.
Or, you could use your UK passport and go live somewhere else in the EU for a while. Learn German, go and do uni there for free.
Stop seeing it as trying to settle down in a new country, see it as an awesome exotic extended holiday based in the midst of tourism central.
I and millions of my compatriates have had an absolute ball spending a year or two living, working and travelling in the UK after we finish uni. It's awesome. So much to see and do so close by for so cheap. For the rest if your life no two week holiday will ever compare. Get a job in a bar or something and travel as soon as you save enough. A year working in the UK and a car and a tent in Europe. That is something no American ever gets, make the most of it.
Or, you could use your UK passport and go live somewhere else in the EU for a while. Learn German, go and do uni there for free.
You're too young to be settling down for life.
This ^^^^^
And, as you may know, if you work in the US, you will have to pay a lot for health insurance which is free in the UK, you will probably get only two weeks off per year, you will have to cope with mountains of snow and long term sub freezing winter temperatures if you live in NY. I think I would either do as above or just get used to being in England. Think it through, it's not just about how you feel now, it's also about practical matters.
I finally told her how I feel and she said she would be very upset about it and that she thinks it would be a bad idea but I have to do whats best for me. which is great and im happy about it but now she is doing everything she can to make me stay.
Seems like it's not a fair comparison: US living on your own, vs. UK with mother. I think you should give it more time, but also point out to your mother that one problem is that you're feeling hemmed in. And I have the feeling that you're not making as much of an effort. Could you sublet a little place for yourself for six months?
By the way, you don't explain why you moved in the first place.
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