Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > General Moving Issues
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-03-2015, 09:52 AM
 
Location: East Bay
701 posts, read 1,423,858 times
Reputation: 1421

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
England sucks, I can imagine why you are in such culture shock.

I'd leave. Life's too short.
England sucks? Really? What an odd thing to say.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-03-2015, 10:16 AM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,675 posts, read 11,481,827 times
Reputation: 12548
Quote:
Originally Posted by England11 View Post
I'm in somerset right now, but for the first two months I was in London
I'd be very shocked if you can't find work in London!!! It's booming work wise at the moment
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2015, 02:01 PM
 
13,498 posts, read 18,126,387 times
Reputation: 37885
Quote:
Originally Posted by England11 View Post
Thank you for your advice... I do care about her happiness, I know that if I leave she will never let it go. I don't want to ruin our relationship or feel guilty.
Good luck on this score, my friend, because you have already been put into exactly that situation.

Quote:
I want t go back to school and she doesn't agree with that either. she thinks I should get a job in corporate.
You haven't said how old you are and what education, etc. you already have. Lack of that knowledge makes it a bit difficult to make intelligent comments on the above situation. But, on the other hand, what qualifies your mother to give the advice she has?

Quote:
She will say do what you want but then say why it's not a good idea. I don't really know how to approach it. I want to prove to her that I can do it.
Your mother wants what she wants, and you want to prove to her that what you want is better. What a totally crappy tug-of-war. You shouldn't need to prove anything to her, you need to make some well considered decisions on the life you want for yourself, including where you want to live it.

As you have described your situation it sounds like a Mommie trying her damnedest to keep her sonny boy tied to her apron strings. Probably one of the ugliest relationships in the world to be in. Good luck.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2015, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Bel Air, California
23,769 posts, read 28,926,076 times
Reputation: 37326
play this non-stop around your mum's flat, she'll probably move back with you and not even know why...

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-03-2015, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,015,904 times
Reputation: 50795
I would do some research about how to proceed with course work on nutrition in the U.S. How would you finance that? Would you work and go to school part time? Or, would you borrow money? Where would you live and go to school?

Do the upfront research about your career path, and then present your decision to your mom. Explain why you should go back to the States, and how you have decided to pursue your career. If you have a clear path, and you are positive this is what you want to do, then I don't see how your mom could object.

However, if you are counting on your mom financing your airfare, your course work and/or living expenses, I do see her point. It would be cheaper to remain in England. I think the biggest obstacle is how you would finance your course work. If you can figure this out, and certainly, you should be able to research this online, then I think you are on firm footing to return to the States.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2015, 01:17 AM
 
Location: Southern California
15,083 posts, read 20,426,251 times
Reputation: 10343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redraven View Post
It depends.
Is your mother's happiness of importance to you? Then give her the year. She will quite likely appreciate it. However, if you are going to make her life miserable by complaining about being stuck there for a year, leave now.
If you are more concerned about YOUR happiness than hers, go back to New York.
(Personally, I can't imagine wanting to live there!)
Agreed.

[do what you gotta do]
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2015, 07:09 AM
 
2,441 posts, read 2,596,385 times
Reputation: 4644
Stop seeing it as trying to settle down in a new country, see it as an awesome exotic extended holiday based in the midst of tourism central.

I and millions of my compatriates have had an absolute ball spending a year or two living, working and travelling in the UK after we finish uni. It's awesome. So much to see and do so close by for so cheap. For the rest if your life no two week holiday will ever compare. Get a job in a bar or something and travel as soon as you save enough. A year working in the UK and a car and a tent in Europe. That is something no American ever gets, make the most of it.

Or, you could use your UK passport and go live somewhere else in the EU for a while. Learn German, go and do uni there for free.

You're too young to be settling down for life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2015, 08:22 AM
 
Location: near bears but at least no snakes
26,649 posts, read 28,528,829 times
Reputation: 50476
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildColonialGirl View Post
Stop seeing it as trying to settle down in a new country, see it as an awesome exotic extended holiday based in the midst of tourism central.

I and millions of my compatriates have had an absolute ball spending a year or two living, working and travelling in the UK after we finish uni. It's awesome. So much to see and do so close by for so cheap. For the rest if your life no two week holiday will ever compare. Get a job in a bar or something and travel as soon as you save enough. A year working in the UK and a car and a tent in Europe. That is something no American ever gets, make the most of it.

Or, you could use your UK passport and go live somewhere else in the EU for a while. Learn German, go and do uni there for free.

You're too young to be settling down for life.
This ^^^^^

And, as you may know, if you work in the US, you will have to pay a lot for health insurance which is free in the UK, you will probably get only two weeks off per year, you will have to cope with mountains of snow and long term sub freezing winter temperatures if you live in NY. I think I would either do as above or just get used to being in England. Think it through, it's not just about how you feel now, it's also about practical matters.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2015, 12:36 PM
 
13 posts, read 12,536 times
Reputation: 10
I finally told her how I feel and she said she would be very upset about it and that she thinks it would be a bad idea but I have to do whats best for me. which is great and im happy about it but now she is doing everything she can to make me stay.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-04-2015, 12:41 PM
 
15,524 posts, read 15,521,702 times
Reputation: 21852
Seems like it's not a fair comparison: US living on your own, vs. UK with mother. I think you should give it more time, but also point out to your mother that one problem is that you're feeling hemmed in. And I have the feeling that you're not making as much of an effort. Could you sublet a little place for yourself for six months?

By the way, you don't explain why you moved in the first place.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > General Moving Issues

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top