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I have been applying for jobs cross country for a few months now and have now been offered a job. I guess I was never stressed while applying but now that I have an offer on the table I'm extremely stressed and anxious and not even 100% sure I'll take the job.
A bit of background, I have a toddler (2 year old son) and my family is all located across the country. My wife is from my current location but is not close with any of her family. We have been trying to make the move to be closer to my family. We really want to surround my son with people who love him and my parents are dying to be around him more frequently than the 1 - 2 times per year they see him now.
The job I have been offered sounds great. The pay is enough to get by and live somewhat comfortably and I love the area where we'd be moving much more than where we are now. The only thing making me apprehensive right now is the move. Just thinking about it turns my stomach. If I could just teleport to my new location and have a place waiting for me with all my stuff (or new stuff) then I'd have accepted the job the second they offered it.
The whole moving ordeal of getting a place rented over there, getting my stuff here to there (while being without my stuff for as little time as possible), getting my family there (my son has never left the state or went on a plane), having to go back and forth between now and the time we move to secure a place and get things arranged, not to mention all the things I have to do back here before we go like cleaning out my place, packing up, having cars shipped etc.... It's all so much to handle! I want to go so bad and just be there and be done with it but I dread having to do the actual next months worth of activities. All this on a tight time schedule as well because I'd need to give notice at my old job and then the new job gives me time to move but I'd prefer a whole lot more time!
Part of me wants to just chicken out and stay put and keep living our lives here. We are comfortable here. I have a great job and we live in a nice area. We just do not have my family and that's pretty important to us. My wife is totally on board with this and says she is fine either way so that makes it difficult too. She just tends to support whatever is decided workwise. She says she really wants to move to be near my family too but is also apprehensive about the whole thing so we are definitely on the same page. We also do prefer the "new" location since the COL is much cheaper and I could actually afford a home unlike here in Southern California where I'd always be renting.
I'm not sure if I have any specific questions but I just want to see if anyone has been through this, how they got through it and if anyone can offer any advice or words of wisdom or maybe just some encouragement?
It's a lot to think about, but if it's just the actual move that's getting you down, I don't think you should let that stop you. Start making lists and breaking things down into small bites. I'd get a calendar and start working backward from the day you'd start at the new job. Put everything on it--finding a place, renting a truck or movers, cleaning, packing, etc. Break it up into smaller tasks (pack 5 boxes a day and 20 on the weekend, or something similar).
Don't stress over the rental in the new place too much. Find some places you like online and use C-D to ask about specific complexes or neighborhoods. You can probably do most of that without ever going there. If it's not the right place, it will just be for a year, or less if you can do a shorter lease. You can do the utilities set-up over the phone or online.
Moving a 2-year-old is not a big deal. He'll never even know what happened.
Remember that most people rarely regret things they've done, but do regret things they didn't do. So if you really want the job, accept it and get busy!
It sounds like this is a move you and your wife want to make, you're just scared of the process - especially on a tight timeline. I will say from experience that a shorter timeline is actually a benefit to a big, scary move. You spend just about every waking minute planning, working, packing, making calls, researching, etc, and you aren't left with much time to actually stress out about what's going on. You go into autopilot and before you know it, you'll be in your new home and so happy that you made the jump!
Look at it as an adventure ! Somethings in life are like that. You never know what will happen or how it will go. That is what keeps boredom at bay. It's exciting and something new to look forward to. I say, Go For it !!!!
I've moved 10 times in the past 7 years. 4 of those cross country and 2 of those over seas. I always rented a truck and loaded all the stuff myself. If you hired some help through craigslist, usually $10 an hour the move will be a lot easier. The truck rental will cost you nearly $1000 for 5 days, gas about 300-400 food about 200, hotel about 100. It's very doable with less than $2000. Make sure to have enough for utility deposits, rent etc. I would say at least $5000 to $6000 will cover everything including rent, deposits and moving. The only part of moving I hate is packing.
Quit stressing. The only question you have to answer is do you want to do it. Answer options are yes or no.
Toddler will not know what happened. As renter you have limited "stuff". Make friends with the folks at the local liquor stores and start packing. Use a service such as Pods which will drop the container, pick it up and even store it. Ship one care and call the trip vacation. A few days in an extended stay and you should be set for an apartment.
It sounds like this is a move you and your wife want to make, you're just scared of the process - especially on a tight timeline. I will say from experience that a shorter timeline is actually a benefit to a big, scary move. You spend just about every waking minute planning, working, packing, making calls, researching, etc, and you aren't left with much time to actually stress out about what's going on. You go into autopilot and before you know it, you'll be in your new home and so happy that you made the jump!
Our potential destination is very near where you are located.
I think you will kick yourself later if you don't take the job. You need to research and plan. If your wife isn't working, have her work on this too. Really, both of you need to be totally involved. Moving cross country is hard work. But if you take it step by step, you can do this.
Write down your goals and objectives, the same way you would on your day job. Make a plan and move through the steps by meeting the objectives, one by one.
Here's a piece of advice: you will probably throw out more than you keep, but that can be freeing. Since you have family already in the place where you want to move, you can send some things ahead to them, to be ready for you when you arrive.
And, it will be costly. Just accept that. Read the threads on this board for ideas about how others have done this. Just make up your mind to do it. Many others have moved with no family to receive them. So you have an advantage.
Thanks for the advice so far everyone. I have to make my decision tomorrow. I am leaning towards making the move but still have some doubts. I'll keep racking my brain for one more day.
You'd be an absolute fool not to take that job! Remember, the stress of moving (even a big cross country move) is TEMPORARY! Remind yourself of that, and of how much happier you'll be in the long term once you're closer to your family.
And I agree with silibran: break the process down into pieces, and tackle one piece at a time, and the move will feel a lot more manageable.
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