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Hi there! My husband and I are originally from Colorado as we both grew up there and in April 2015 we decided to take the plunge and move for new jobs in Illinois. We sold our house in Colorado and then reinvested part of the money in a down payment for a new house here in Illinois. We closed in September and in October, I left my full-time job to stay home again because I became severely depressed from my work demands. We have a 2.5 year old daughter and I'm 18 weeks pregnant with our second. I start graduate school in January and we are now faced with the desire to move back to Colorado because our reasons for originally moving out here are no longer there. We would lose a large amount of money by moving back home to Colorado but, in a years time we can always rebuild.
My main question is has anyone else been faced with a similar dilemma and do you think that it's worth it to bite the bullet financially to go back to where we are happy or to suck it up and try to stay out here?
The main issue with staying is that I fear that after having our second child, it will be extremely hard to move back to Colorado and rebuild our lives. Any advice helps!!
we have moved several times and took the financial hit to be happier. not a lot of folks will do that but for us each time has been well worth it. maybe figure out what it will cost you, divide it up into months and see as a loan payment? only your family can figure out how much of a loss you think is worth it or not.
Do it. It may cost in the short run, but you will thank yourself later.
The wife and I went through a very similar experience with IL and CO. We met in Chicago on our first jobs out of high school. Married 3 years later. Eight years later the opportunity came up for a promotional transfer to Boulder. Having visited an uncle there 2 years earlier, we took the move, selling our first house in IL, even though we both had other family near Chicago.
Bought a house near Boulder, and was there 4 years when I was offered another promotional transfer back to Chicago. So sold the CO house, bought again in IL. That was in April. By Aug we realized we made a mistake, after enduring a summer of heat, humidity and bugs, we realized what we came back to was not what we wanted long term. And the job was not quite what I wanted. Chicago was not "home" anymore, Colorado was.
So sold IL and bought CO again. We had good luck in that we were able to sell the 2nd IL house for 10% more than we paid 5 months earlier. Did have to find a new job in Denver, but that worked out also.
We then stayed in CO 34 years until circumstances forced a move to CT. Sure miss CO.
BTW, we had 2 kids ages 11 & 6 at the time. They adjusted just fine, and were glad we were going back to CO.
So don't stay in IL and be miserable. Go back and make the best of it.
Move back. Financially it will be hard, Colorado has gotten very expensive but if it's where you both want to live and raise your kids you should do it. We've left and moved back here four times, we're done Colorado is where we belong.
You didn't say what the reasons were you moved out there, but that they were no longer there. From what your writing it sounds like it might be harder for you too stay then take the hit and move back. It may just seem overwhelming to you right now because you are depressed. Listen...Go where you are going to be happy..You can always make more money...build or buy a new house but what good is it if your not happy. Do you think you have given it enough time though? You only have been there 8 months and you left an area you lived in all your life. Depression is a serious thing and making any big decisions when depressed can blur and confuse the decision making process. I really wish you the best but bottom line is go where you will be happy and be willing to pay the price. Sometimes things just don't work out the way we plan but don't beat yourself up for trying. Hope you feel better and I wish you good luck and congratulations on your new baby. Keep us posted.
Is there a half-way alternative you can think of or is it all-or-nothing?
You mention being depressed so that makes it hard to advise whether your thought process is dependable. What does your spouse think? This is a BIG deal--selling house, getting new job, buying new house or renting, being pregnant, starting grad school, moving twice in under a year. Honestly sometimes the best thing to do is… nothing…until you are absolutely sure. And asking strangers on a forum tells me you are not sure and want strangers to weigh in.
Get help with your depression, that should be at the top of your list. Next, make sure your family is financially secure. If your husband is on-board with your idea then he should look for a job in CO and if it's the right one then there's your answer. No need to rush the process. You can start grad school now and transfer if/when you move back. You'll have a new baby no matter where you live.
Fly back to visit relatives in the meantime. Sometimes things work out for the best. You need to get your emotions back to even keel and take time to do what's best for your family.
Go back to where you're more content. You're too young to settle, not that anyone should, but as you get older sometimes you have to. When you're younger, you can more easily get up and move.
I would move where I'm going to be happiest, provided that it wouldn't leave me financially distressed. Moves are usually always costly, but as long as your not totally wiping out accounts I'd go for it! Don't put yourself in a bad place, but if you have crunched numbers and figured costs, I would absolutely do it before baby 2 is born. We are planning our move for next year, before we start a family. It's about 17 hours away from us. We are making the move ourself to save money and selling most everything we own. Seems easiest for us. We will rebuy off craigslist or looks for good deals on new furniture. We are just not happy where we're at anymore, at this point in life.
We recently moved from MA to NC in March; by June, we knew it wasn't for us. We had to stay because we were under contract for a condo. We passed on the condo, moved in, and promptly put it on the market. We sold it within a week, passed papers in September, came back to MA and have absolutely not regretted it. We're thrilled to be "home".
There's no price on peace of mind!!
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