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I would consider moving closer but maybe not right in the same town, since you do not like it. Even bordering states would be better and alllow you to visit more often. It would be tough for me being far from close family.
People live far from their family all the time. A coworker has no family in this area. They all live in another country. Another coworker has family primarily in California. It's much easier when you have friends. Since my wife and I do not have any friends in this town, it makes it difficult to be far from family.
I am currently looking for jobs closer to family, but job security and happiness is a little more important to me than being closer to family (hence why I moved out here in the first place). There's no sense in being miserable at a job, but close to family.
Even if I lived far away, in let's say Minneapolis, the airport is large and offers non-stop flights to RDU. The closest airport to me (Kansas City) does not offer non-stop flights to RDU, so flying is much more of a hassle. When I lived in St Louis, I could easily fly home for a 3 day weekend because the flight was only 1.5hr and it was easy.
Similar dilemma except my wife and I haven't made the move yet... We live in NY, however, we both love the Seattle, WA area but leaving family will be difficult. We moved into my parents house and I created a mother-daughter out of my parent's existing house. My wife has been very happy as she loves my parents and feels a sense of family having them. My brother is my best friend and would be difficult not to see. I really don't care for the area I live in at all and that's with knowing people. I actually DON'T like where I live and am happier in isolation from the general community. My family is the only reason I would stay in this area. Using my situation as an example, I plan on leaving my county at some point, so moving to an area you're going to hate is worthless. You'll only be miserable in the end. As Ynot stated, family will only help so much with those feelings. My parents want to move to central jersey and my brother stay here. Washington is beautiful but it's far and expensive to travel to NY from. So we started playing with the idea of moving to maybe Maine. It's not terribly far (about 7 hours from central jersey and 5.5 from my brother). This will allow not only us to visit more easily but also my parents or relatives.
I wouldn't limit yourself to just a 200 mile radius. The 7 hour trip from Maine to Jersey is approximately 425 miles. 7 hours is not all that bad to drive. Now if the US would just rebuild its rail infrastructure we could take cheap, relaxing trips across states and even bring your own car!
Similar dilemma except my wife and I haven't made the move yet... We live in NY, however, we both love the Seattle, WA area but leaving family will be difficult. We moved into my parents house and I created a mother-daughter out of my parent's existing house. My wife has been very happy as she loves my parents and feels a sense of family having them. My brother is my best friend and would be difficult not to see. I really don't care for the area I live in at all and that's with knowing people. I actually DON'T like where I live and am happier in isolation from the general community. My family is the only reason I would stay in this area. Using my situation as an example, I plan on leaving my county at some point, so moving to an area you're going to hate is worthless. You'll only be miserable in the end. As Ynot stated, family will only help so much with those feelings. My parents want to move to central jersey and my brother stay here. Washington is beautiful but it's far and expensive to travel to NY from. So we started playing with the idea of moving to maybe Maine. It's not terribly far (about 7 hours from central jersey and 5.5 from my brother). This will allow not only us to visit more easily but also my parents or relatives.
I wouldn't limit yourself to just a 200 mile radius. The 7 hour trip from Maine to Jersey is approximately 425 miles. 7 hours is not all that bad to drive. Now if the US would just rebuild its rail infrastructure we could take cheap, relaxing trips across states and even bring your own car!
Could you move for a year or two for fun, then go back towards family to settle down?
Could you move for a year or two for fun, then go back towards family to settle down?
I sort of did that. But it's really hard to move for just a year or two, especially somewhere so far away. I moved from NC to MO, which isn't super far. And it was fairly expensive and stressful. I sort of intended to move back after completing my degree, but that never happened because 1) I was happy here. 2) I got a job here. Now that more time has passed, I am miserable here. Mostly because of this boring town, but also because I miss the beach, mountains, and family.
I'm checking for jobs in NC, VA, SC, and GA. All of those states will be within a 7hr driving distance to family. Still close enough for a long weekend trip.
I always lived where the job was. My brothers did the same, and our family was scattered all over the world. We just had to deal with it even though we would have liked to live closer to one another. I really don't see much choice that is consistent with good career development, especially with good jobs being as tough to find as they are these days. Well, unless you have one of those enviable jobs that allows 100% telecommuting (mine didn't).
Luckily, technology can make distances seem so much smaller. Skype has been wonderful for many families that can't live in the same community. A friend's brother-in-law who was in the military and stationed in the middle east (but not in a war zone) was able to call up his family on Skype frequently. That was wonderful, especially on holidays like Christmas, when his kids could "be with Daddy" at least to that extent, show him their presents, and so on. Maybe you could set your parents up with Skype and show them how to use it.
As for making friends in a small town, you won't make any unless you put a lot of effort into it initially. Of course you want nice people as friends, and that is reasonable, but at the same time don't be overly picky. Also remember that most people don't have room in their lives for more friends, and if they don't that's OK - - there are also some who do. Make some friends, and they will introduce you to their friends who will introduce you to their friends, and pretty soon you will have a big social circle from which to choose your closest friends. Think of the task of making friends as more like a job, something that you have to do whether you feel like doing it or not, until you have some friends.
I agree.. I grew up in a military family and the rest of our family was NEVER where we were.. BUT I consider my immediate family, my "family".. Everyone else is just a relative....
I have NOT lived near any relatives for roughly 15 years... I have visited my mom and we have met her and or my sister here or there....
So I really do not understand the pull of having to live where my family does... Family as in everyone who is NOT immediate (wife, kids).....
Shoot I haven't seen most of my relatives (about 99%) for over 25 years....
Interesting that your reasons for leaving MO are that you miss family, mountains, and beach all of which you will find in NC. You said you don't like Raleigh, but lucky for you there are other towns in NC. :-)
Not sure what size town you want to live in, but Richmond VA would put you 1.5 hours from the mountains, 2 hours from the beach and about 3-4 hours from Raleigh. Neat town if the size is good for you.
I'm in a similar situation kind of. I finished up college this December and am now starting with interviews. In some respects I want to get away from my family. I've been at the same home since I've been born and lived with my parents through college. I've seen the same scenery for a long time and wouldn't mind a change and somewhere new. Also, we have religious differences that are going to have to be resolved one way or another here soon, and if I'm too close, I feel it will be harder to sever those. But I do like being around my family as I've done so much with them and we are close (except for the religion issue).
But then on the other hand, it is kind of terrifying to move out somewhere completely new where I don't know anyone. However, I have been good at meeting people and making new friends, so I don't know how much of a problem not knowing people will or won't be. In some respects, I'm going to have to do that anyways, because a lot of college friends are going to go their own ways and church friends, neighbors, ect. will be gone too.
I have a decent job offer in Detroit... It's a long ways from CO Springs (where I'm from), and isn't exactly my ideal moving preference, but wouldn't be too bad. However, Denver's really my other option and I'm even less in love with that city... It's overpriced really didn't impress me when I lived there this summer, it seems like a downgrade from CO Springs really, just with a better job market.
So my problem is that I'm either going to be stuck in Denver, which I don't really care for, or stuck in another city which is too far for anything besides vacations to see family. Denver seems like the easiest option for now, but I'm afraid if I start my career there, it will be hard to leave. Likewise if I start somewhere else, I'm afraid I'll get homesick... CO doesn't offer too many in betweens unfortunately, unlike the east coast.
Could you move for a year or two for fun, then go back towards family to settle down?
My intentions are more of moving to a nice place that offers a better quality of life and moving the family to me. Daunting task I know, however everyone in my family seems to be here just because my family came here in the early 1900s, as did many other families.
New York is great, don't get me wrong. There's no city like it, however I'm not an urban dweller anymore and want to try something that seems to be more... "frontier" to me.
Also the career I'm trying to get into has more availability in Washington.
To answer your question though, I would move for some time, to explore and have fun. If we didn't like it as much as anticipated or longed to be with my family again, we would move back to the east coast but maybe to Maine or some other part outside of New York.
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