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My son seems to be thriving in my little house right now so perhaps it's not even a problem as I make it out to be. But in place B i could give him a bigger house with a yard to play in. Right now we have a concrete backyard that is about 15' wide and 8' deep. We could also move into any neighborhood we wanted and possibly even send him to private school in place B. But then again, place A does have nice schools too, I'd just have to move nearer to one at some point in the next two years. I guess all the uncertainty of B is what is holding me back.
Kids with a happy home life and their basic physical, intellectual and emotional needs met are great wherever they live. Its the quality of life for the adults in the home that make all the difference. You and your wife need to determine where you will be happy. My parents moved us from a New York apartment to a house in the burbs when I was 8. I recall a much happier time prior to our move. Suddendly Mom was all about the landscaping and decor. Dad spent hours in his basement workshop. Our former city life of museums, parks and zoos were over. I made lots of friends in the neighborhood and rode my bike freely all over. Nothing wrong with either lifestyles and I didn't have a bad childhood. But our family was closer before the move and our free times were more enriching for a child's mind. But Mom and Dad loved living in a house and they loved caring for it. So home was indeed not an unhappy place.
Honestly, OP, it sounds like both options are great. Although there are unknowns in city B, you know you will have a good job with benefits. That is most important. Is the job security as good with that job? Maybe that should be a factor? If you lose your job in city B, will you have other opportunities? It is a little stressful and confining to have a good job in an area where there are no other good jobs. Whatever decision you make, you have to go for it 100%. Don't look back and do the what if/should I have game. That is what will make you unhappy. There are no right and wrong choices, just different paths you could choose to take. Make the best of whatever decision you decide to make. And make sure you and your wife do it as a team.
If you will, let us know what you decided. I'm in a somewhat similar situation in that I'm moving 500 miles north for a better job (as in pay) but it will be longer hours, and uncertainty with how great it will be working there (whereas the jobs here are great and there's not much stress involved in the work. As the poster above me mentioned though, job security was a big factor in my decision The security of the jobs here is very low whereas where I'm moving it's better, at least objectively; you know you can never be too secure in any job). My situation is easier though because my fiancé hates it here and where we're moving to is where we eventually want to be (just hadn't expected it would be this soon). So there's a lot of uncertainty ahead and I really identified with your post. Best wishes with whatever you decided on.
My company is great. I've moved up 5 times in 10 years. I'm in line for other jobs soon. The sky is the limit here.
I get paid well and probably get promoted again soon. And to top it off the job in B is very different than what I do now, is much more responsibility, longer hours, and I'd start fresh with vacation time etc... At A, I'm set. I have awesome hours. No OT. Like my job. Like my boss. B is so unknown
These two statements would pretty much seal the deal for me. Stay where you are.
you can always move back to the original place if it doesn't work out, but if you don't take the chance, you may always wonder 'what if'..
regret is more painful than all the aggrivation of moving to a place only to decide to head back to the original situation.
also, if you go to place b and it doesn't work out and you go back to place a, you might appreciate place a more if you took the chance and branched out.
personally, the greatest thing i did in my life was branch out and move to different places, when i look back on this now, i'm thankful i gave it a shot, it was the best thing i did.
also, another thing that is a separate issue from the actual physicality of moving and whatnut, and that is the mental health you receive from trying new things, your 'stress' levels will change if you take chances and move around, you 'grow' emotionally and mentally by getting out in the world and making moves and changes.
remember, you could always go back, there's no rule that says once you move you have to stay moved.
I ended up going with option B surprisingly. Moving again scared me and stressed me out so I think when I wrote the original post and followups I was biased towards A. B really is an amazing opportunity in a place I feel will be best for my family long term. I'm doing some planning for the move everyday so it won't stress me out when it does get here. I realized the move was the part that was scaring me the most. Not the new job or new location but just getting there. It would have been unwise to pass up a new life because I was scared of moving a couple states over. I move in about 3 weeks and I'll keep you all updated.
Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement.
I was going to go off about the casual mention of location C!! But I'll skip it.
Since April 2012 I've moved to CT, then HI, then GA now I'm back in CT. All promotions/career moves (plus Hawaii - DUH) I'm shooting for Europe for our next move.
Don't pack your trash. Throw it away. Have a moving sale and it will help finance your move/gas money/dinner out etc. Downsize - simplify. Go for it and enjoy. You've got a great family and you will always be fine when you're all together!
Stay where you are. You'll get there wage wise and be able to get a house. You wrote so positively about your current job, and it's rare to have all that, good hours, good boss, and sounds like they value you.
One thing to consider, if you do this move, they may not try to rehire you this time. Job security is really hard to come by these days.
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