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I would like to see whom all here @ one time living w/ your own family (raising kids ect) and having relatives living close by. Then sometimes feeling that you wish you can pack your families stuff, sell your home and then move away-far away to be more independent.
I’m not talking about moving to the next two cities or towns away from your relatives (parents, sisters, brothers, cousins and friends).
If so, did you feel it was worth it? Getting out in the world, still loving all you left behind (no bad ties) but just wanted to be away from relatives and nosey people? Share your actions and feeling about this or if you did that?
Did you feel it was a good decision or do you wish that you never took the chance and possibility gambled your loss of your own family by doing that?
My husband and I did that last year. We lived in Fla where all our family was, brothers sisters grandparents, parents etc. We decided we were going to move away, far away. We thought yah its fine people move away all the time and they're just a plane flight away.
So we got rid of almost all we own, packed up and moved all the way up the country 1,500 miles away to New Hampshire. We didn't know a soul in the state , our family was all down in Florida and we were "free" . We had no bad ties with family when we left at all... It was great for 2 or 3 months.. We did our own thing no on knew our business, no more having my mother call me to watch my brother (he's 18 years younger than me @ 8 years old) ...
Months passed and although we tried we weren't meeting anyone. We found that small town America is MORE NOSEY than any of my family ever was (my husband boss asked my husband why he DID NOT want anyone knowing why he was taking a personal day, and would not give my husband a personal day off of work till he told him why he was taking it, he's a officer).. Our neighbors evidently are friend with people at the PD, we got a flat tire one day and the next day everyone at the PD was asking if we got it fixed, we hadn't said a word.
Our holidays consisted of my husband working, no presents,the cost to ship them was as much as it was to buy them and so family just sent cards instead of gifts.. Thanksgiving also consisted of me at home, alone, husband working recieving pictures from family in e-mail of everyone together at the table enjoying dinner.
While I was away my friend had another baby, my sister got engaged, my mother moved away, my husbands brother got married and his wife is expectinged.There is no way possible we could fly down for every occasion.. Just one trip costs over $500 becasue we're so far away the plane tickets are so expensive! We missed out on a lot of things in our families lives. Not to mention fun with our friends on Friday nights, double movie dates with my cousin and her boyfriend. Ugh the list goes on
Was it worth it? One word NO!!!! Did I learn an important life less? YES!!!!!!!! Nothing in this life is as important as family and good friends.. Having a white christmas this year didn't make it feel more like Christmas. I was alone hearing of the great times everyone else was having. People didn't fly up to visit us when we moved and after a while people stop calling cause they go on with their lives and chit chat once in a while to see how you're doing.
The day after Christmas we had enough and decided we're moving back.. We've already put the plans in motion and we're moving back in 3 months... Nothing will ever make me move away from my family and friends again. Think long and hard before you do it.. You're family will always be there for you no matter what.. Your birthdays and holidays will be spent alone if your family doesn't come to visit you and you dont' make friends instantly.
I have lived quite independently for most of my life. It is a non-issue. Family, relatives, and friends can visit you and you can visit them. It makes for mini-vacations for everyone.
Thank you for your input. It really does mean something to us!
We're like you all. Want the white Xmas, but want cooler / colder weather. My family (parents) all lived in Colorado for about 15 yrs total (I was young) and we moved to Austin back in 1996 due to other realatives that are there. It pretty sad to say, but we been here now for almost 10 yrs now and love it, but we're really not close to our other family members which I thought at the time 10 yrs ago that we all would come close. It all came down to who's the top dog or the next Jones’s.
As you said about nosey, bah... I really don't care what people say in other slang I like to say is others are just HATE’ in (Jealous / envy). I just want out. I want to raise my family. I also will feel this is a test to see how really important our family really cares about us if its even true.
I feel since we been living closer, my wife’s cousins always calling us to get them out of there small dump small country towns to live big city and opportunity. Basically live free BUMS off us until they make it somewhat big so they can move out.
Well, we did take them in and they got their chance and now living well off on there own. I feel like we're adopting others and making something out of them.
However - In return it does not come back as a favor. We ask if they can help out w/ something or just help moving some furniture around. They act like they are so busy and in nice terms sorry “NO CAN DO”. Heck even if its our kids Bday party, they don’t come. Pathetic I know.
Well, I had it. This is only one of the small reasons.
I all honesty, I think it's time to move on and live where I enjoyed better weather, life and adventure for just our family. As for friends, its not a big deal. As long as I raise my kids to be smart, use common sense and stay healthy and active that what means the world to me. I am tired of trying to gather family around the big table for a Thanks Giving Dinner.
More turkey for me I guess
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tarastomsgirl
My husband and I did that last year. We lived in Fla where all our family was, brothers sisters grandparents, parents etc. We decided we were going to move away, far away. We thought yah its fine people move away all the time and they're just a plane flight away.
So we got rid of almost all we own, packed up and moved all the way up the country 1,500 miles away to New Hampshire. We didn't know a soul in the state , our family was all down in Florida and we were "free" . We had no bad ties with family when we left at all... It was great for 2 or 3 months.. We did our own thing no on knew our business, no more having my mother call me to watch my brother (he's 18 years younger than me @ 8 years old) ...
Months passed and although we tried we weren't meeting anyone. We found that small town America is MORE NOSEY than any of my family ever was (my husband boss asked my husband why he DID NOT want anyone knowing why he was taking a personal day, and would not give my husband a personal day off of work till he told him why he was taking it, he's a officer).. Our neighbors evidently are friend with people at the PD, we got a flat tire one day and the next day everyone at the PD was asking if we got it fixed, we hadn't said a word.
Our holidays consisted of my husband working, no presents,the cost to ship them was as much as it was to buy them and so family just sent cards instead of gifts.. Thanksgiving also consisted of me at home, alone, husband working recieving pictures from family in e-mail of everyone together at the table enjoying dinner.
While I was away my friend had another baby, my sister got engaged, my mother moved away, my husbands brother got married and his wife is expectinged.There is no way possible we could fly down for every occasion.. Just one trip costs over $500 becasue we're so far away the plane tickets are so expensive! We missed out on a lot of things in our families lives. Not to mention fun with our friends on Friday nights, double movie dates with my cousin and her boyfriend. Ugh the list goes on
Was it worth it? One word NO!!!! Did I learn an important life less? YES!!!!!!!! Nothing in this life is as important as family and good friends.. Having a white christmas this year didn't make it feel more like Christmas. I was alone hearing of the great times everyone else was having. People didn't fly up to visit us when we moved and after a while people stop calling cause they go on with their lives and chit chat once in a while to see how you're doing.
The day after Christmas we had enough and decided we're moving back.. We've already put the plans in motion and we're moving back in 3 months... Nothing will ever make me move away from my family and friends again. Think long and hard before you do it.. You're family will always be there for you no matter what.. Your birthdays and holidays will be spent alone if your family doesn't come to visit you and you dont' make friends instantly.
I wanted to stay close to family, but my husbands mom was transferred with the military and she wanted to see the kids. I loved my husband enough to say, "if you want to be near your mom, lets go for it." Turns out the women hated children, didn't like ours, hated us once she knew us better and took another transfer to get away. It hurt my husband.
It also stranded us on the other side of the country. We knew no one, had no friends, had no jobs, had nothing. But since we also didn't have money to move, we both got jobs and settled in for the long haul.
It's been hard, but love kept us going for a very long time. It hasn't been easy, but we have each other and our family--our kids. My mil never visits, never writes. When I visit family, it's like I don't belong anymore, they've had shared experiences I never had, and do things differently from me.
Do I miss them? Would I do it over if I had the chance?
I would follow my husband to the ends of the earth. I have no regrets. Family is who you choose to be with, not who you are born to. I like my family. I love my husband.
I moved from CA to TX and then back CA and now I live in nYc. It depends on what you are willing to live with in your life at the end. One of my goals are is never have regrets or what if...so change is not easy and sometimes decisions I made were not the correct one, but I have lived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, take chances in your life and make the decision that is right for you. Only you know.
I do have a son and I chose to raised him in TX and move to CA and nYc after he left home. I thought is you only have one life and I want to see and experience as much as I can. I have to say that change is not easy, but well worth every moment of it and BTW, I make weekend trips to TX and CA every two months...air is so cheap and it really is that far! They also come and see me!
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