Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My partner and myself met and have lived in Toronto, Canada for almost 4 years. In 2015, we decided we wanted to try something new as we grew slightly bored of our current surroundings and how hectic it got. So we decided to move out west to Calgary, Alberta.
We found Calgary to be much calmer compared to Toronto. The city was clean. The people were extremely nice. The Rocky Mountains being an hour drive away was just absolutely majestic to drive to, almost every weekend as there is always somewhere new to explore and not to mention the beauty of British Columbia being just around the corner. Things we're good. We had our ups and downs but generally speaking had no major complaints that pushed us away.
Fast forward a year, my partner was out of a job and I was in a job that was willing to relocated me to Toronto if ever needed. So we started contemplating moving back, weighing pros and cons. There wasn't that many cons we could name about Calgary, other than the fact that we didn't have a strong circle of friends. But that is expected. We we're only there for a year after all. Somehow, Toronto was full of pro's and barely any cons. I think we we're partially home sick. We missed the livelihood of the city (and completely neglected all the negatives associated with that, such as traffic and pollution). We also (which now I realize was a HUGE mistake) wanted to be closer with friends and family again. So we decided to move back.
Fast forward a year later, we are finding ourselves regretting moving back. I can't for the life of me figure out what I would leave all that beauty behind. It was the perfect place to settle down and provided the perfect balance of everything. Meanwhile here I find myself constantly critiquing the smallest things of the city I don't like. It's taken a toll on my emotional well being where just being in a happy state is a constant challenge. Yes I realize people live in much much worst scenarios around the world (Trust me I know, being originally Middle Eastern) but its different when you have the choice.
What would you in my situation? We are ready to commit to moving back (After we save up enough and gain more work experience in the new jobs we acquired here, which I guess is the only positive from moving back). Would you follow your inner desire to move back regardless of how indecisive it may come across as to others?
Just to be clear I'm not looking for emotional counselling or therapy haha. I'm mainly asking, would you move back to a place after realizing its beauty and potential which you didn't see while there?
I think you should put much more thought in to this move. Make a list of pros and cons of each place.
Also, a place will not make you happy - or not. That is up to you. Friends move, weather changes, jobs come and go, restaurants and hangouts close, etc. If you are happy with yourself you can be happy anywhere.
Moving is so tricky because it brings-up all sorts of emotions about the new place you are living at, and also the place you left. Confusing for me, I have been through it many times. But after a while, you can usually logically sort-out which place you really liked better.......once all the strong emotions have calmed down.
If you know you preferred Calgary then it seems like going forward with a 'move plan' would be the right thing to do. A place may not make you happy, but a place can make you unhappy. My husband and I just made a move to our ideal location from an area that we disliked a great deal. We didn't chose to move there, it was a military move, and we stayed there long enough for our kids to finish school. While we started out with a positive attitude, by the time we left over a decade later, we were miserable there. The climate just frustrated us. Each year was hotter and more humid, and each year it was more difficult to tolerate for us.
If you don't like where you are at, don't waste time making excuses for it. Plan for the move and make it happen. Life is too short to stay somewhere you dislike.
Thanks all for the responses! Still a work in progress for me and still exploring other cities I haven't been to, but I agree we should pursue something if that is truly where our desire is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kodiakbearcountry
A place may not make you happy, but a place can make you unhappy.
My partner and myself met and have lived in Toronto, Canada for almost 4 years. In 2015, we decided we wanted to try something new as we grew slightly bored of our current surroundings and how hectic it got. So we decided to move out west to Calgary, Alberta.
We found Calgary to be much calmer compared to Toronto. The city was clean. The people were extremely nice. The Rocky Mountains being an hour drive away was just absolutely majestic to drive to, almost every weekend as there is always somewhere new to explore and not to mention the beauty of British Columbia being just around the corner. Things we're good. We had our ups and downs but generally speaking had no major complaints that pushed us away.
Fast forward a year, my partner was out of a job and I was in a job that was willing to relocated me to Toronto if ever needed. So we started contemplating moving back, weighing pros and cons. There wasn't that many cons we could name about Calgary, other than the fact that we didn't have a strong circle of friends. But that is expected. We we're only there for a year after all. Somehow, Toronto was full of pro's and barely any cons. I think we we're partially home sick. We missed the livelihood of the city (and completely neglected all the negatives associated with that, such as traffic and pollution). We also (which now I realize was a HUGE mistake) wanted to be closer with friends and family again. So we decided to move back.
Fast forward a year later, we are finding ourselves regretting moving back. I can't for the life of me figure out what I would leave all that beauty behind. It was the perfect place to settle down and provided the perfect balance of everything. Meanwhile here I find myself constantly critiquing the smallest things of the city I don't like. It's taken a toll on my emotional well being where just being in a happy state is a constant challenge. Yes I realize people live in much much worst scenarios around the world (Trust me I know, being originally Middle Eastern) but its different when you have the choice.
What would you in my situation? We are ready to commit to moving back (After we save up enough and gain more work experience in the new jobs we acquired here, which I guess is the only positive from moving back). Would you follow your inner desire to move back regardless of how indecisive it may come across as to others?
Just to be clear I'm not looking for emotional counselling or therapy haha. I'm mainly asking, would you move back to a place after realizing its beauty and potential which you didn't see while there?
Thanks
I moved from a city I loved everything about (Charlotte NC) back to my hometown of Oklahoma City in 2012. At the time, it seemed like better opportunity plus I was homesick and missed being close to family. Moving back home was one of the worst mistakes I ever made. Unfortunately, I made poor financial decisions after moving back that have trapped me here until 2020 at the earliest. In all essence, I pretty much screwed up my life by moving back to my hometown in haste. Not only do I live in a place that just isn't a good fit for my sensibilities, being back home has significantly worsened my relationship with my family since so much is now expected of me.
OP, you are fortunate to only be a year removed from that mistake. Don't do what I did and make poor decisions that make it more difficult to leave. I've been here five years and still have three more to go before I can leave due to bad decisions. For you, I would save up and move back to Calgary as soon as possible if that's where you want to be.
I've tried everything to try to be happy in Oklahoma City but it just doesn't work for me. I've reached a point where I can tolerate it but I still don't like it. Like you, I try to tell myself how good I have it compared to people around the world (such as the Middle East for instance) but I always fall back to regret and disappointment with where I live. Being in a happy state is a real challenge here.
Again, I would do everything to move back as soon as possible and make sure you don't get yourself into any situations that tie you down in Toronto. I wish you the best of luck!
It seems one of the reasons you went back to Toronto was job opportunity. Another was friends. Those issues will rear their heads once more unless you have them settled before moving again, don't you think? Good luck.
One of the best trips I ever took was to Calgary, Banff, and Jasper. Jaw-dropping scenery. Black bears, grizzlies, and moose could be seen from the highway. Fabulous beauty. Maybe you could vacation in the city after you get established. Best of both worlds.
My partner and myself met and have lived in Toronto, Canada for almost 4 years. In 2015, we decided we wanted to try something new as we grew slightly bored of our current surroundings and how hectic it got. So we decided to move out west to Calgary, Alberta.
We found Calgary to be much calmer compared to Toronto. The city was clean. The people were extremely nice. The Rocky Mountains being an hour drive away was just absolutely majestic to drive to, almost every weekend as there is always somewhere new to explore and not to mention the beauty of British Columbia being just around the corner. Things we're good. We had our ups and downs but generally speaking had no major complaints that pushed us away.
....s
Exactly what is it about Toronto that you don't like?
I haven't been there, but i hear its quite a Town....supposed to be very cosmopolitan.
Sorry, but I'm going to be the one that tells you what you don't want to hear. And that is that is that your problem is you, rather than where you live.
You seem to focus on the negative things, and then idealize some other place that will fix the way you feel. You move to that place and begin the process anew.
In recovery circles we call this seeking a geographical cure and it doesn't work because you always bring you with you.
It's also known as the insanity of making the same mistakes over and over expecting the results to be different.
I moved 3 thousand miles to California 15 years ago with my family and I think making a move is a big decision and one that you think thgrough, and commit to. IMO you would do well, instead of thinking about what you perceive as negative, to go about making a life for yourself. It is building someting positive within you that will make you comfortable, not changing where you live.
best of luck
Dave
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
