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Old 12-04-2018, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Proxima Centauri
5,772 posts, read 2,544,071 times
Reputation: 6062

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You are 25. It's the perfect age to rent a house or buy a share in the Hamptons for next Summer.
For now you have a job right? You will need money in the Hamptons. Do you have a car and maybe Fridays or Mondays off from your job? Even better

Here is what to do. Look in the Village Voice. This is the typical place that ads for Summer shares were advertised. Houses are typically rented from the weekend before Memorial Day to the weekend after Labor day. Sometimes you can stretch the season to October 1. September is beautiful out there and the crowds are gone after Labor day.


Everyone needs to get away from the noise of NYC every so often. I hope that I offered you an acceptable alternative to leaving.
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:24 PM
 
1,153 posts, read 776,291 times
Reputation: 4302
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB View Post
You’re kidding, right? I don’t think ANYONE would like Philadelphia unless they were born there. I’ve never seen such a sour city with more miserable people in it that that miserable garbage heap of a city. These people boo Santa Claus, they are the worst sports fans, walking around that city everyone snarls at you, and 4 days spent in that place was 4 days too long. Any time I think about how badly Portland sucks I just remember my visit to Philly and keep in mind there ARE worse places. You couldn’t pay me enough to live in that horrible place.

When it comes down to it, the Least Coast just doesn’t have much to offer anyone. The weather is overall godawful, standard for the East Coast of any continent actually, and the best weather is FL which doesn’t compare on any level to California weather, much more humid and full of hurricanes, but at least it’s a no income tax state which is nice. Outside of FL though what’s good about it?! It’s an overcrowded, strip-mined place that doesn’t really have much going for it that isn’t just better elsewhere. Then if you’re the average boring 9-to-5er you whine like a baby every time any sports event starts at 7 because waaaaah it’s already 10 on fake time and I’ll have to stay up past my lame bed time to watch this! Well don’t go to bed so early if you live on the worst coast, easy solution, nobody on the East should be sleeping before 1-2 am otherwise you’re missing out on life and what happens while you’re just sleeping away the day.

General Least Coast attitudes are also bizarre and they seem about 15 years behind on any popular culture trends. I remember I had an East Coast friend saying “wicked” all of the time and didn’t know the word “tight,” she is like “what’s tight?” It’s just laughable, we make popular culture here and it takes forever to get to the Least.

I'm not 100% certain about that squeaking sound I'm hearing, but I think you might have a porcupine stuck up your tuckus.


You're just someone who can't tolerate a little bit of chilly air once in awhile, and that's a shame. There's nothing wrong with East Coast weather, it's just a fact of life. If anything I'd say Florida's is the worst among the Atlantic states. Fun can be found where you look for it and most of the time it's the people you're with that count (including you, because you are always bringing yourself, so you might as well have a good attitude about things).



I don't really care for "popular culture" or trends for that matter. I'm an adult. I pave my own way in life, and my friends care for me because I'm who I am and not because of the "trendy" clothes that I don't wear, the tattoos that I don't have, the fancy car that I'm just not going to pay for, or the TV shows that I don't care to binge (because I don't own a TV anyway).



I don't watch sports either so I don't care if a baseball game starts at 7, or 10, or 2 in the morning for that matter. None of it is important and there'll be another game tomorrow, or next week, or next season or whenever and another team will win or lose and the score will be.....oh wait, none of it matters....at all. Is that really one of your gripes about the East Coast? Is that even in anyone's top 5 list of annoying things, about when a sporting event starts?


But thanks for your opinions, which are rather trivial and built upon quite shaky foundations. You can keep it in California, along with your political attitudes and along with your taxes as well. It's bad enough over here....and you might want to look into that squeaking sound, it may very well be the thing that's making you ornery.



You've made a lot of noise, but I don't think you've convinced me that leaving my home on the Chesapeake Bay is the best option for me quite yet. Yeah, I've got a bit of a Gypsy Itch (hence the user name) and I do travel somewhat frequently, but it's not too bad here.
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Old 12-04-2018, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Honolulu, HI
9,828 posts, read 3,067,403 times
Reputation: 11671
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigCityDreamer View Post
Being 25 and still in school, you're not going to experience most of the things that NYC offers.

You have to begin your career there and start making some serious money. Or hook up with somebody who does.
It takes many years to establish a career and make some serious money, especially in an expensive city. If the OP doesn't like it in their youth now (without any major bills, kids, or spouse), they never will.

But good on the OP for giving it a shot, the world is still their oyster.

Quote:
Originally Posted by InchingWest View Post
People have big dreams, and good for you for having them, but places like NYC, LA, and SF seem to really crush people's souls. I mean, I can take a walk around NYC for a day once every 5 years or so, and it's kinda "meh". I get more excited visiting smaller cities like Halifax or Grand Rapids or Des Moines, or taking a trip up to Amish country (in PA) and spending a weekend discovering new nooks and crannies and things to do there.

How many people go off to LA to "get discovered" only to have their soul crushed when they end up working retail, living in a flop apartment, and paying all those taxes? Millions I suppose, but when it works out it really, really works out I guess.
It just comes from crazy expectations with no backup plan. The people who move to such cities and "make it big" are really rare. The average transplant with high expectations looks around and realizes they're out of place with no money or stable job and everyone around them seems to be doing fine.

Even my wife who thought living in Miami would be awesome, told me the weather was too damn hot and the people were too damn fake (plastic surgery).

So IMO it's all about not thinking "the grass is greener." Social media and holly wood distorts the reality of these places. And even if one does all the research in the world, there are still things they can't predict.

I was in thailand for 30 days and I thought it would be heaven, but it wasn't. The novelty wore off and I was actually bored despite being in a tourist destination. I fell into the trap of having crazy expectations for it. The novelty of a place can wear off fast.

Last edited by Rocko20; 12-04-2018 at 07:52 PM..
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Old 12-05-2018, 08:30 AM
 
Location: East Coast of the United States
20,884 posts, read 22,192,147 times
Reputation: 17235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocko20 View Post
It takes many years to establish a career and make some serious money, especially in an expensive city. If the OP doesn't like it in their youth now (without any major bills, kids, or spouse), they never will.
When I was in my early 20s, I couldn't stand the fact that I was still in college and only making crumbs of money from a part-time job.

All of that changed drastically after I graduated and got a real job. I've never felt a greater improvement in my life since then. So, everyone's experience is going to be a little different.
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Old 12-05-2018, 08:42 AM
 
Location: New York City
1,531 posts, read 906,392 times
Reputation: 2431
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB View Post
You’re kidding, right? I don’t think ANYONE would like Philadelphia unless they were born there. I’ve never seen such a sour city with more miserable people in it that that miserable garbage heap of a city. These people boo Santa Claus, they are the worst sports fans, walking around that city everyone snarls at you, and 4 days spent in that place was 4 days too long. Any time I think about how badly Portland sucks I just remember my visit to Philly and keep in mind there ARE worse places. You couldn’t pay me enough to live in that horrible place.

When it comes down to it, the Least Coast just doesn’t have much to offer anyone. The weather is overall godawful, standard for the East Coast of any continent actually, and the best weather is FL which doesn’t compare on any level to California weather, much more humid and full of hurricanes, but at least it’s a no income tax state which is nice. Outside of FL though what’s good about it?! It’s an overcrowded, strip-mined place that doesn’t really have much going for it that isn’t just better elsewhere. Then if you’re the average boring 9-to-5er you whine like a baby every time any sports event starts at 7 because waaaaah it’s already 10 on fake time and I’ll have to stay up past my lame bed time to watch this! Well don’t go to bed so early if you live on the worst coast, easy solution, nobody on the East should be sleeping before 1-2 am otherwise you’re missing out on life and what happens while you’re just sleeping away the day.

General Least Coast attitudes are also bizarre and they seem about 15 years behind on any popular culture trends. I remember I had an East Coast friend saying “wicked” all of the time and didn’t know the word “tight,” she is like “what’s tight?” It’s just laughable, we make popular culture here and it takes forever to get to the Least.
Your post is just stupid. As a transplant to Philly, I really like it. Most of the people in my circle are transplants, and like it too. The example you come up with is one from 50 years ago (Santa Clause). Really? Sounds more like you're the miserable heap of garbage, not Philadelphia.
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Old 12-05-2018, 11:45 AM
 
2,056 posts, read 2,550,860 times
Reputation: 4150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonyafd View Post
You are 25. It's the perfect age to rent a house or buy a share in the Hamptons for next Summer.
For now you have a job right? You will need money in the Hamptons. Do you have a car and maybe Fridays or Mondays off from your job? Even better

Here is what to do. Look in the Village Voice. This is the typical place that ads for Summer shares were advertised. Houses are typically rented from the weekend before Memorial Day to the weekend after Labor day. Sometimes you can stretch the season to October 1. September is beautiful out there and the crowds are gone after Labor day.


Everyone needs to get away from the noise of NYC every so often. I hope that I offered you an acceptable alternative to leaving.

Not trying to be offensive but you are a bit out of touch. The Village Voice paper is no longer in circulation. Second, house rentals in the Hamptons are very expensive even in the off season. Third, the crowds are still there till November because of pumpkin picking, apple picking, wineries, weddings, etc. On top of that everything out there is expensive. The Hamptons is catered to the rich. What is a 25 year old student going to do there and how are they going to afford it?


Op, if you want to enjoy a little piece of NY without breaking the bank and get a little bit of that West Coast vibe take a trip out to New Paltz for the day or stay for a few nights. There are a lot of trails up there, the people are chill and it's a fun college town. Other places I'd consider are the Poconos in PA or even going a little further up in Vermont.
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Old 12-05-2018, 12:28 PM
 
4,272 posts, read 1,775,941 times
Reputation: 9867
LA and SF were great places to be a student. But once I graduated I couldn't get a decent job to save my life, and I was probably the poorest I've ever been. Absolutely no way to get my foot in any door career wise as I had no money and no contacts. I've never felt poorer than being in LA without a car, waiting for a bus, watching happy people drive by in their luxury convertibles.
In NYC, on the subway you can be sitting next to a homeless bum or a millionaire. There's at least the feeling of some kind of equality. Also I found in NYC the job market was something I could break into. I could get a decent salary. Once I met my future wife it all fell into place. Starting with nothing, we could have a decent life together, eventually buy a house, raise a family and retire in relative comfort and security. None of my friends or relatives in LA could or did do all that. All my friends and relatives in NYC did.
Regarding pop culture, a previous poster was correct. California was several years ahead of the East Coast in terms of pop culture.
But the person who spoke about people wanting to make it in show business and failing in LA was true as well. Unfortunately those people live in a fantasy, which can happen anywhere, but seemed especially prevalent in LA. To me LA was a fantasy based placed and NYC was a reality based place. After getting settled in NYC and visiting LA the difference seemed very noticeable. I started thinking of life in LA as living in a Disneyland of the mind.

Last edited by bobspez; 12-05-2018 at 12:49 PM..
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Old 12-05-2018, 04:08 PM
 
16 posts, read 14,102 times
Reputation: 56
Wow. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of response to this thread. Thanks everyone for the kind words and positive advice. Definitely helped me feel a little bit better about the whole situation.

I guess in the long run there were just a lot of factors that I hadn't thought about. Really just being an anxious person to begin with I did not realize how much the living/working/commuting here would stress me out. Also I didn't realize there were a lot of parts of "portland life" that I was going to miss. I think I enjoy living in an old craftsman with roommates and a porch/back yard, I enjoy being able to get around almost the whole city by bike, I really just enjoy the smaller town feel in general. I think it helps build a more accessible community for young people and that is really important to me.

But even today I was walking around the Lower East Side, thinking about what a great city NYC is. I do enjoy it here at times. Lower Manhattan is a pretty beautiful place, but theres no way I could afford to live there. Part of me feels like I should just stick it out longer, but after going over things in my head time after time, I'm not really sure what I could do to improve my situation here. I don't particularly think moving to a new apartment/neighborhood would help much. And in the long run thats one of the only major factors I feel like I could change. Still have to commute to school everyday, still have to work a ton while going to school to be able to afford my tiny apartment, still constantly surrounded by crowds and noise.

I just can't help but feel like I'm giving up. But I think it's just that reality is so much different than the life out here I had imagined in my head.

Even in regards to friends. I have a pretty big friend group with some close friends that I have known for years from other parts of the country. We just don't see each other much because we are all young/poor/and struggling.

Lastly, I am attending art school. I am an artist and I think that may be another major factor. I feel like this city stifles my creativity. It's hard for me to work in my tiny bedroom. The art scene here is fairly inaccessible for young artists. I read a a Patti Smith quote from 2010 (almost 10 years ago!) regarding living in NYC as a young artist.

"New York has closed itself off to the young and the struggling. But there are other cities. Detroit. Poughkeepsie… New York City has been taken away from you… So my advice is: Find a new city."

And to be honest, I totally feel that. I think I came with intentions of this city being some sort of bohemian paradise. Sure some of my friends still live in warehouse spaces and show at small galleries in Chinatown. Some of them definitely make it work. They don't mind living in a bedroom in Chinatown that only fits their mattress, with an Asian family who does not let them use the kitchen.

I guess I keep telling myself that NYC will always be here. I can always give it another shot later on. I can always come stay with friends for a month or two in the summer (I do think the best time I had out here was during the summer when I didn't have much going on and a lot of friends were visiting).

This just truly isn't an easy city to get by in as a "starving artist". Since I do have some friends who manage to do it, I thought that I could handle it. But I think I may just need to find an easier "home base" (i.e. Portland).

This whole situation has me thinking about moving vs traveling. Before this move I had this idea that I needed to live a number of different places, to really experience the world. Now I'm questioning that concept. How much do the importance of new experience compare to a community of family/friends, stability, and comfort. I think I'm liking the idea of short term living places. Subletting a room for 1-3 months during the summer. A long vacation, but still basically living in the city, just without moving all of your stuff and having the magic of the place wear off.

Thanks again everyone for listening to my rants and giving me some really heart felt responses. It always means a lot to me when I can reach out to strangers on a forum and they respond compassionately. I guess I really just can't get over the fact that things didn't work out, but that's life. I think in the future I need to build up less expectations about my plans and just let them happen.
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Old 12-05-2018, 04:28 PM
 
Location: East Coast of the United States
20,884 posts, read 22,192,147 times
Reputation: 17235
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1000flowersbloom View Post
Sure some of my friends still live in warehouse spaces and show at small galleries in Chinatown. They don't mind living in a bedroom in Chinatown that only fits their mattress, with an Asian family who does not let them use the kitchen.
Oh... my.... God.

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Old 12-05-2018, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Western MA
2,180 posts, read 1,495,074 times
Reputation: 6114
Quote:
1000flowersbloom: "New York has closed itself off to the young and the struggling. But there are other cities. Detroit. Poughkeepsie… New York City has been taken away from you… So my advice is: Find a new city."

And to be honest, I totally feel that. I think I came with intentions of this city being some sort of bohemian paradise. Sure some of my friends still live in warehouse spaces and show at small galleries in Chinatown. Some of them definitely make it work. They don't mind living in a bedroom in Chinatown that only fits their mattress, with an Asian family who does not let them use the kitchen.
Yeah, NYC has become the playground of investment bankers, hedge fund managers and foreign investors. Starving artists were priced out of Soho in the '80s (maybe a little after) and out of Brooklyn in the late '90s, I would guess. I was lucky that I got to live in Manhattan during the '90s when there was still a great mix of people and a more diverse demographic. I was there during the "Sex and the City" days. But even then, I could see and feel it changing.

I'm glad that I had my time there and I wouldn't change my experiences for anything. It's a big part of what has made me who I am. But I doubt I would want to live there now. Only if I maybe won 10s of millions in the lottery and wanted to keep a pied a terre there, heh!

Anyway, good luck with this next step in your life. You can at least look back on your time in NYC with some perspective and fondness. Keep the friends that you've made there. Some will probably move on to other places, but it is great to have friends everywhere. I have former NYC friends all over the world at this point, some still in NYC, others in other states and countries. We all shared those great experiences and we all now share our experiences from different corners of the world.
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