Moved for job and want to go back (climate, move back, new location)
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Months of orientation and a steep learning curve is a plus rather than a minus. It indicates it's a complex job which ought to be good experience, and you said you wanted to do this type of work. It shouldn't be the deciding factor unless you are adverse to hard work. Years ago I relocated from LA to NYC for a better opportunity. I was pretty homesick for a year, but made new friends and had some relatives in NYC, and a couple of months before I had planned to move back to LA, I met my future wife. That was 46 years ago and we have been retired for more than 10 years now, living about 50 miles from where we met. That said, NYC had loads more opportunities than LA for me. Most of the people I still know from LA have had the same jobs and lives for decades.
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Originally Posted by chrstnd
Hi all. I recently started new position in Los Angeles (1 week). I relocated here from the east coast as for years and years have said how I want to live out west. I ended up in a long distance relationship with a guy from out here which really motivated me to find a job so I could move here. Our relationship didn't work out but I still decided to take the job offer since this was something I'd wanted to do before I met him and it wasn't about him. Anyway, now that I'm here, I don't think I'm going to like this job (which will require months of orientation with a steep learning curve). And all I can think about is packing my stuff up and heading back East (funny enough everything I had shipped from home is scheduled to arrive this afternoon). It would cost me as I would owe the company the relocation costs but I only moved from my bedroom in my parents house so it shouldn't be an exorbitant amount, plus the cost of shipping all my crap and car back. But I do have savings so I'm not worried about the cost aspect. I'm not too concerned about finding a new job at home as I had recruiters reach out to me for a few jobs back home before I moved and I could always go back to my previous job. I know this is a decision only i can make. And everyone says "give it a few months, give it a year, it gets easier, etc. etc." but I don't feel right spending months at a job where I need to be extensively trained with no intention of staying. And I do like it here the weather is awesome theres lots of things to do (though I don't really have anyone to do them with), but I'm convinced its possible that some people (myself) value being close to loved ones more than a sunny warm location. I feel like a real idiot packing up and turning back around after only a few weeks but I just feel like...****..this isn't where I should be! I miss my family and friends and I know thats just homesickness but what am I torturing myself for?! Any thoughts or personal experience on the matter?
You may not WANT to hear the same advice over & over, but there's a reason why everyone is saying the same thing... because it's good advice, and generally true for anyone experiencing a major change. One week isn't nearly enough time to decide if you're happy, and if you run back home now, you WILL always wonder "what if?" If you stick it out for a year, and still end up going home, at least you can say "I tried and it wasn't for me."
Reminds me of when I'd get homesick at summer camp, and call my parents begging to come home. They never gave in, but would tell me to give it another week, and then they'd pick me up if I was still miserable. Guess what? I never called them back, and usually ended up having a great time after that first week.
As much as I hated LA myself, I have to agree with the other posters. A week just isn’t long enough to judge any place! You knew if you moved away from home you’d face a different social reality for a while but do you really want to go through life just having to live somewhere mediocre because “that’s where the fam bam is” lol I mean I won’t be held hostage like that. My dad and my GF’s family as well as some of our friends are all where we live now, but it doesn’t matter, we both hate it here! I’d rather be where I want to live even having to put in the time to make friends and give a new city a chance.
So get past the initial shock of change and start trying to meet some new people who make you feel more at home. I offer that advice attempting to ignore my own entire life experience which is that in 5 years in LA I met some of the most worthless, low class, disloyal people I can ever imagine. The people there were so bad in my experience they actually ruined what I admit was very good weather, lots to do, and a great place for my career (really the only place almost). I hope your luck with LA people is better, there are many millions of them after all, I only met like 10,000 lousy people, not even 0.1% of them probably lol. Stick it out and see what you think in a year at least!
I've moved about 10 times throughout my life so far. Some places I ended up loving, some places I ended up hating. You may end of loving living there. However, nothing can substitute for having family nearby. I think that is so grossly underestimated and necessary to a high quality of life, certainly more so than the weather. Healthy family relationships add so much to your quality of life! Sure, you may learn to like it there, but you still won't have family nearby. I don't have any close family, other than my husband and kids, so maybe I have no credence. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with going back. Our society, unlike most others, puts too much emphasis on individuality and making it on your own - not that there is anything wrong with that per se. Read Blue Zones by Dan Buettner. It really puts family relationships in perspective.
Best of luck in your decision.
Hi all. I recently started new position in Los Angeles (1 week). I relocated here from the east coast as for years and years have said how I want to live out west. I ended up in a long distance relationship with a guy from out here which really motivated me to find a job so I could move here. Our relationship didn't work out but I still decided to take the job offer since this was something I'd wanted to do before I met him and it wasn't about him. Anyway, now that I'm here, I don't think I'm going to like this job (which will require months of orientation with a steep learning curve). And all I can think about is packing my stuff up and heading back East (funny enough everything I had shipped from home is scheduled to arrive this afternoon). It would cost me as I would owe the company the relocation costs but I only moved from my bedroom in my parents house so it shouldn't be an exorbitant amount, plus the cost of shipping all my crap and car back. But I do have savings so I'm not worried about the cost aspect. I'm not too concerned about finding a new job at home as I had recruiters reach out to me for a few jobs back home before I moved and I could always go back to my previous job. I know this is a decision only i can make. And everyone says "give it a few months, give it a year, it gets easier, etc. etc." but I don't feel right spending months at a job where I need to be extensively trained with no intention of staying. And I do like it here the weather is awesome theres lots of things to do (though I don't really have anyone to do them with), but I'm convinced its possible that some people (myself) value being close to loved ones more than a sunny warm location. I feel like a real idiot packing up and turning back around after only a few weeks but I just feel like...****..this isn't where I should be! I miss my family and friends and I know thats just homesickness but what am I torturing myself for?! Any thoughts or personal experience on the matter?
Go back home now. It will not get easier. This is a prime example of what I mean by tbere are places that you should just visit. Be thankful that you can. This is apart of tbe journey of life. Do not regret it.
Go back home now. It will not get easier. This is a prime example of what I mean by tbere are places that you should just visit. Be thankful that you can. This is apart of tbe journey of life. Do not regret it.
If everyone took your advice to move based on their opinion on a place after a week, they would never move anywhere. That IS a visit/vacation. You don’t really know anyone, barely know where anything is, probably aren’t fully unpacked yet... the list goes on.
If everyone took your advice to move based on their opinion on a place after a week, they would never move anywhere. That IS a visit/vacation. You don’t really know anyone, barely know where anything is, probably aren’t fully unpacked yet... the list goes on.
That is not true. I am speaking from experience. I recently made a move that baffles many but I know I got it right.
If everyone took your advice to move based on their opinion on a place after a week, they would never move anywhere. That IS a visit/vacation. You don’t really know anyone, barely know where anything is, probably aren’t fully unpacked yet... the list goes on.
it all depends on the person. i moved out of state, and the honeymoon phase/general excitement lasted from the second i got there for about a month and a half. then a month of normalcy. followed by 2 months of pretty severe depression/homesickness. everyone is different.
it's probably best to wait things out, but if you get to a point where your state of well-being is seriously deteriorating and you are not able to do your job, then it would be a good time to go back home. just really depends on how OP is feeling overall.
Some years ago, I worked with a guy from CA who only lasted around 5 months in Boston. During that time, there were like three blizzards,lol. He was constantly complaining he was so cold and miserable and couldn't go out or even try to meet new people because the weather was such crap. He also really missed his family a lot.
Fortunately for him, he was able to get an interview back home over an extended weekend and left immediately once he got the offer. I noticed on LinkedIn that he's still at that job in CA, so it was the right decision for him.
Sometimes you don't realize what's important to you until you go away.
Just tell yourself you in school for a year to learn new job and life skills. In a year, when you graduate, you can decide what to do. You said you lived with your parents, is this your first time living on your own? Did you go somewhere for college? It's a big adjustment, especially if you're experiencing "homesick college freshman" stuff. But if you stick it out for a bit you will become a stronger person and that will serve you well in life.
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