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If you look at the moving process as a whole, I read somewhere (long ago) that is generally takes an average of 9-12 months for a family to recover from (adjust to) a major move, and that has been my experience, as well.
I don't remember a move of ours that wasn't "risky" in some way in every aspect, nor matter how well prepared. Stress is a perfectly normal reaction to risk and uncertainty.
I really WANT to move across the country and have had a few opportunities the past few years but chickened out. They weren't perfect opportunities so I didn't lose much sleep over it. But now I have another potential opportunity coming up and just thinking about it kicks my anxiety into high gear. This would be a 2000+ mile move with me, my wife, our toddler, and our cat.
Surprisingly the cat is probably the most difficult aspect of all this. I could drive her for 30+ hours over multiple days but that would drive me crazy. I could get her on a plane and be done with in 5 hours or so but then I hear stories about people complaining about cats on planes and even harassing the owners.
Then I start thinking about the logistics of everything else. Movers/moving truck/pods, securing a new place, leaving my old place and getting it cleaned out etc...It's all just very overwhelming.
In my mind I know it would only be one month of miserableness for a potential lifetime of joy so it doesn't seem rational but man that one month stressed me to the extreme haha.
I'd like to hear some stories from people who have made long moves and faced severe anxiety about it and how it all turned out. Any tips or pointers to get over the anxiety and suck it up for that month or whatever?
I had no choice but to move (and had two cats) because I lost my job, any anxiety I had I had to suck it up and deal with.
My cat isn't one who does well in the car. I did take her on a 10 hour journey once and she meowed the whole way and clawed at her carrier.
I got this tip from a veterinarian: Try putting your cat in a pillow case. The pillow case allows the cat to breathe and it can't see where it's going. This seems to calm the cat down. Check out soft pet carriers with roll down "windows" approved for airline use and "Cat-in-the-Bag" cozy comfort carriers on Amazon.
I don't have any pets currently, but I did just relocate from CT to FL. It's been a long time since I made such a change and while I really wanted to move I really dreaded the whole moving experience. My advice is to sell/donate as much stuff as possible. A lot of it won't be worth the cost to transport it. I downsized from 1200+ sq ft townhouse to around a 940+ 2 bedroom apartment and I can already tell that I won't have enough room even after downsizing.
My U-Pack cubes were finally unloaded on Tuesday and I'm currently mired in boxes and bubble wrap. Even though I labelled most of the boxes (very important in a big move) they're spread out all over so it's taken me twice as long to find things. This is not how I envisioned my life in FL!
Last edited by Daisy Grey; 12-21-2018 at 06:25 AM..
We got transferred a lot. We moved cats, dogs, gerbils, fish, kids and Granny 17 times.
You can leash train a cat. We did it. Took about a month. Put a leash on her collar. Let her alone for 5 minutes. Do that a bunch of times a day. When she gets used to having the leash, hold it. She will get used to walking with you connected to her.
You can also get pheromones that will calm the cat.
Put her in the car and drive around the block a couple times a day. Then give a treat. She will learn it is painless. If you take her in the car cross country, just be sure she is confined in the carrier or on a leash before the car door is opened.
You don't get over the stress of moving until everything is in order, and you can go sit in that easy chair with a nice hot cup of Joe or a drink in hand.
Only THEN you can enjoy being in your new location.
What's to be anxious about? Just go about methodically as you would with any other aspect of life.
This. OP, if you have the budget to hire movers, rather than packing things into modules yourself, that will take a huge load off your mind. You and your wife can pack as many items as possible (dishes into dish-packs, books into boxes (some photocopy business will give you free boxes) well in advance of moving day (start a couple of months in advance), you can get closet boxes, or let the movers handle that, etc. Take the cat in a cat carrier on the plane.
I'm curious about this ^^^ poster's question re: do you view the grass as greener across the country. Where are you planning to move to?
Pay people for so many things. I paid a service to take my unwanted stuff to the dump/recycling/homeless donations. I paid the moving people to pack what I wanted to move across country (Boston area to mountain Colorado). I bought a new car with AWD to replace the 15-year-old Toyota. My realtor, bless her, took care of the cosmetics and updating my house needed to go onto sale once I vacated. I hired a dog transport woman to take my two senior girls and I drove with the two senior boys. Made sure my new house (build that year) had a fence for dogs the day I arrived.
And still stuff happened. The first night on the road, someone smashed my car window and took my duffle that had the stuff I wanted for my first week in the new place and my phone, which I'd forgotten on the front seat. And my winter jacket. And this was at 3a in front of a hotel in Columbus, Ohio. I had lost my wallet the night I left Boston and had to cancel my checking account and get a new card, cancel credit cards and get a new driver's license the morning I left.
All of this really cost a lot, believe me.
Now, I was very ready to move, eager to get to Colorado with retirement, and had minimal issues about moving, but it was still... stressful. I kept a list and desk area with my laptop, did what I had to each day and got through it. Day at a time, task at a time.
I'm curious about this ^^^ poster's question re: do you view the grass as greener across the country. Where are you planning to move to?
I replied to that question earlier, he's my reply:
I want to move and think life would be better for the following: all my family (and some friends) lives across country, lower COL with same pay = better quality of life (can own a home), and I lived there previously and loved and miss it.
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