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I have a few threads already on similar subjects. I think some people can get help from my situation similar to theirs from support here.30 yo single male, I have thought for a few years I wanted to move to the Phoenix area. I visited twice for a week each time. The 1st time in other parts of Arizona and Phoenix. The 2nd time just the Phoenix area. I hate the cold , rain, and snow. I get temporary depression if its cold or gloomy.
I can't get passed the emotional pull of my dad being here as he thinks I am all he has even though he has his wife and brother here in SC, and other family in OH. Anytime I think I can do it, its like leaving your best friend or favorite pet back home to fend for itself. I like it where I am , but there are alot more job opportunities in my field (IT support) in the Phoenix area. I havent had a full time job since August 2018, and that was just a contract position for that summer. I don't want to keep doing Uber much longer.
Its hard to leave the comfort of family and familiar surroundings. If I had a job here in my field , I think I would be fine with staying here. I also thought about South FL as its warm year round as well and closer to my dad, but rains alot, chance for hurricanes, and not much hiking.
My main hobbies are hiking, traveling / cruising , pc gaming, wanting to get into other outdoor hobbies . Not the party or bar type. Recycled advice is better than none. Im just not sure what I want to do with my living situation.
It sounds like to have your act together and at an age to begin a successful career. You are single and flexible to be able to easily relocate to pursue the best career opportunity that is available to you. Your Dad should understand and support your decision to seek a successful future. You are not abandoning him and your emotional connection with him remain or even strengthen.
It seems that we can be further distance wise from our family, however when we do get together it tends to be more meaningful and better utilize the quality time that we spend together. You really need to carve out a place for your own development, make a plan and get started. Family will be there and should support you if their truly interested in you well being, happiness and success.
Hi, I remember reading your other post. At first you seemed to be blaming your dad for not letting you move - and now it seems reverse, you’re recognizing it’s you who is fairly hesitant to move? Whichever it is; change is hard and moving can be scary when you’re relatively settled. However, that’s the fun in life. Travel, experience different cities, and it’ll end up helping you realize what you do, and do not, want for your lifestyle and ultimately future.
I recently just moved to south Florida and it’s not for me at all. And what’s the worst that happens? I’ll try again, and hopefully land in a city that’s for me.
I vote move; experience the world, and embrace being outside your comfort zone. You can always move back home. But ultimately you’re the only one in control of your own decisions; not anyone else, so I would stop putting it in your head that your dad won’t let you leave. If you want to badly enough, you will make it happen.
None of us know you well enough to tell you what to do. Some do that on this forum, but I think it is very irresponsible.
It's good to think out loud and discuss here, but the decision will need to come purely from you.
Think of different scenarios and try to rate the pluses and minuses. Maybe you can move but still be within a day's drive to your dad. Instead of one big move, maybe plan it in two phases; one as a starting point, and the other where you want to end up.
Also be careful of the grass is greener syndrome. I ended up moving away from my roots and hated it. I wish I had been stuck, to protect me from my headstrong ideas. You might have some blessings you don't even see, right under your nose.
Last edited by Thoreau424; 01-30-2019 at 09:55 PM..
A big thing for me is I havent found work here in a while. Its the same recycled job postings ..unlike other places I'm interested in that have "new" jobs available I havent applied for and more abundant in those areas. I cant Uber/Lyft forever and kill my car.
How old is your dad?
Where's the closest job to where you are now? Would your dad consider moving?
You think SC is cold?!!
55.
All the good jobs are an hour from my current location.
My dad is too stubborn and close minded to try somewhere new .
SC is cold in the winter to me. Overcast alot and the cold spells suck , not as bad as the north but anything under say 45°F I dont like.
My husband has a son living on the Oregon coast with a new baby boy. His wife's family is there and she's never left them. It's unlikely he will move from there any time in the near future. But, for us, the west coast is out. Too many bureaucrats, property taxes are high and housing expensive. This is our last chance to get out and see the rest of the country.
People use things like Face Time and Skype to keep in touch. We plan on getting a small motorhome and coming out at least once a year for a visit. It's not the same as living by them, but we don't get down to see them that often now. The one thing I would point out to you is that your dad is not going to get younger. If he is in good shape now, it would be easier for him to deal with you living away. There will come a time when his health starts to fail and you may need to move back. If you really want to move away, you might keep that in mind.
I think you will feel like kicking yourself later in life, if you don't move to a place where there are better opportunities. People move away from family all the time. And the families survive very nicely.
As others have pointed out, there are many ways to communicate online.
Have a long talk with yourself, and make up your mind to just do it.
Make a plan, and carry it out.
Do accumulate some savings before you move. Find someone who wants a roommate in Phoenix, and live there until you find a job and get settles, and start living your real life.
Just a thought ... which may be more for the Employment board than the General Moving board..... As your field is IT Support (in which you may have a hardware or software specialty), you may want to think about getting a contract type of position.
There are many contracting firms that furnish short- and long-term consultants to corporations in all sorts of industries and locales. These positions would give you the opportunity to try out a new location and job. And you may get opportunities to work in different IT environments before getting "locked in" to a permanent position. You could target positions in AZ. :-)
Bonus: You'd get to travel and your immediate family would get acclimated to you not being around on a daily basis.
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