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I think it's extremely reasonable. In fact, I can totally relate. I too am stuck where my spouse wants to live, but would prefer to be back to where I'm from. The "waiting game" has been hard, but I'm learning to deal with it.
I agree wholeheartedly with katharsis. Being happy isn't possible anywhere and everywhere. Those who think all locations can be enjoyable simply have never left their bubble, and have never experienced a difficult location. To put it bluntly, they are clueless.
Try to be patient, do all you can to make your current location as bearable as possible, visit your home location as much as possible (and emphasize how important that is), and remember that someday you'll be in a better place. See it as an exercise for personal growth and endurance. You can actually turn it into a positive. And do anything you can to get a head start. Even little preparations help, and you can visualize that you're already on that path, even if just the early stages. I've found that moving forward, even tiny steps, makes me feel better, like I've started the longterm process.
Best of wishes and luck to you!
That’s exactly what I did. Good advice! I started making early preparations, getting rid of stuff I didn’t need, researching the market very extensively, reading local papers, following the local team since the beginning (hehe), and making contacts where I planned to live. I think it helped a lot and finally I got out - literally - into the sunshine.
Every time someone says this I totally disagree. Beach bunnies won't be happy in the desert, heat seekers won't enjoy living in Minnesota, and you most certainly see people who talk about how they couldn't deal with small towns, or those who can't stand crowded cities. In my experience living in a place that doesn't suit your lifestyle can negatively affect your whole outlook on life.
I grew up in a major metropolitan area. When I got married years later, for about five years I lived in the small town where my then-wife grew up. I hear people talk about how great small town life is. I was miserable. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do, and the locals wanted nothing to do with you if you weren't "from around here". A lot of cliquishness, a lot of nepotism, and this was in a town of 5,000 people.
You can make money anywhere. You should never live somewhere terrible just for the money, it doesn’t make any sense. There are opportunities in every major city without needing to be stuck in one of the bad ones. And family is no excuse to be miserable - let the idiots live out their days in some hellhole just because there are family members there. What a stupid reason. If everyone did that nobody would ever move. Someone has to make the move and let the smart family members follow. The dumb ones will stay there in the middle of nowhere and that’ll be their existence. To be unhappy for work or money isn’t worth it. There are always alternatives.
What if...
You’re unhappy in the city and WANT to be in the middle of nowhere? That’s not a horrible existence. Especially if you make good money. Have property, toys, etc.
Moving to the city is often a move just for money or work...
I hate living in the urban sprawl. Traffic and people all over one another.
If that’s your thing, alright. I would be miserable living somewhere without 24 hour restaurants, sports teams, entertainment, and activity. I don’t want to live on a big property in the middle of nowhere - no fiber optics Internet out there, unacceptable. There’s hardly any traffic in Las Vegas at all, nothing to worry about, it’ll take 20 minutes to get somewhere (like for me Town Square) with traffic and 18 minutes without. It’s inconsequential. I wouldn’t ever want to live anywhere but a major city and I’d say most of them are either too small or boring. Portland for instance is a bit bigger than Vegas but feels 5 times smaller because nothing is happening there, it’s way too small for me. Usually it seems to take about 3-5 million people in a city for it to be a great place to live.
Zara,
When you agreed to get pregnant, you changed everything. Having a child changes everything in your life.
It is also normal for you to want to be near your mom when you are pregnant. Every woman wants her mom
in her life raising a baby, especially if she was a good mom.
Have your mom come stay with you right before baby is born, and if she can stay, have her stay for awhile afterwards.
You will feel better with her there for this life changing experience.
You have to visit your family often, tell your husband if he wants you to stay there, he has to put the money out for you to visit your family. Don't worry, he will pay for it.
You also have a great support system with his parents around.
You are going to mind their visits less when you need a break and his mom can watch the baby.
Try to think positive, and give some time for you to get use to being a mom.
Good Luck.
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