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Thinking about it some more, a car would be the best answer. OP could get out of the house and come and go as she pleases and get some driving experience. She can sell it when she's done with it.
OP, you MUST make the drive up Highway 1 in California. If you haven't driven it, it's amazing!
There is no way I am going to drive all the way to CA. I am not an experienced driver, and whatever car I can afford is going to have super high mileage and would not survive the drive to CA. And a car is a huge expense that I do not want to take on if I am going to be in a PhD program in a city, where I won't need a car. Plus, I can't really afford a car when I need to pay my own rent, gas and insurance is just so expensive and research positions don't pay super well.
I am not trying to shut down this idea, but buying a car is just a bad idea. It would be half of all my money.
I priced cars in your area and you're wrong. They're very affordable in Rhode Island. Buy a car and live with your grandmother. Then drive to California when the time is right and sell your car.
Quote:
Originally Posted by abnfdc
You're 23? Financial aspects with buying a car aside, you have to grow up sometime. Didn't you say you were applying to PhD programs? No offense, but perhaps you should look at personal growth as an individual before looking at programs where you can potentially affect other people.
and Providence to say San Fransisco is only 3200ish miles. Less than 5 days if you take your time and only do 700 miles per day. Not a difficult drive over interstate highways with a maintained vehicle. I do enjoy road trips though-I did drive from LA to ME to TX to AK one time.
You're 23? Financial aspects with buying a car aside, you have to grow up sometime. Didn't you say you were applying to PhD programs? No offense, but perhaps you should look at personal growth as an individual before looking at programs where you can potentially affect other people.
and Providence to say San Fransisco is only 3200ish miles. Less than 5 days if you take your time and only do 700 miles per day. Not a difficult drive over interstate highways with a maintained vehicle. I do enjoy road trips though-I did drive from LA to ME to TX to AK one time.
I'm confused as to why you think I need to grow up. I never lived with my parents for more than a month in the summer after I turned 18, and I moved to California by myself the second I graduated college. I paid my own rent and loans, and I've never missed a credit card or loan payment. I have lots of anxiety, and am very insecure, but I don't think that's the same thing as being immature.
I ultimately decided to move to Boston for September-December. A family I used to babysit for in Boston reached out to me today, and they would like to use me as a sitter in the mornings. This works well with my schedule since I work on west coast time. I will have more structure to my day and more of a routine. I found out one of my old coworkers needs to sublet her place, and her roommate seems very nice. I really just needed a push to move to Boston, and babysitting did the trick. Thank you all.
I ultimately decided to move to Boston for September-December. A family I used to babysit for in Boston reached out to me today, and they would like to use me as a sitter in the mornings. This works well with my schedule since I work on west coast time. I will have more structure to my day and more of a routine. I found out one of my old coworkers needs to sublet her place, and her roommate seems very nice. I really just needed a push to move to Boston, and babysitting did the trick. Thank you all.
That's wonderful news! It sounds like an absolutely perfect solution all around.
I'm confused as to why you think I need to grow up. I never lived with my parents for more than a month in the summer after I turned 18, and I moved to California by myself the second I graduated college. I paid my own rent and loans, and I've never missed a credit card or loan payment. I have lots of anxiety, and am very insecure, but I don't think that's the same thing as being immature.
Fiscal responsibility is one type of maturity. But what's lacking is initiative and reasonable risk-taking and keeping things in proportion. Your new situation--which is great--was not of your own initiative. You're still waiting to be told what to do, as you are with your boss. If this hadn't conveniently come along, what would you have done? Problems like this come up in life, and solutions don't usually present themselves.
Last edited by sheerbliss; 08-13-2020 at 06:15 AM..
I ultimately decided to move to Boston for September-December. A family I used to babysit for in Boston reached out to me today, and they would like to use me as a sitter in the mornings. This works well with my schedule since I work on west coast time. I will have more structure to my day and more of a routine. I found out one of my old coworkers needs to sublet her place, and her roommate seems very nice. I really just needed a push to move to Boston, and babysitting did the trick. Thank you all.
Thanks for updating us orang, and glad to hear the situation has been resolved! Take care!
I thought you were a gay male, and that was why you can't tell your parents you have a bf in Boston. But you're female? And you can't tell your parents you're going to spend the weekend w/your boyfriend? And you're 23? I don't understand. Do you think they'd kick you out, if they found out you were sleeping with a guy? What's the deal on that? You think they think you're a virgin and saving yourself for marriage?
If they won't kick you out, I'd start being honest with them about spending weekends w/the bf. They probably know, anyway.
How are you getting money, if you're not working? Are you going to get a temp job until your permanent job comes through in 2021? If you're going to get a temp job, you need to live near where there are jobs to be had in this difficult time. If you need a car to get to and from work, you'll have to stay where you are, because that's where the car is.
When you're young, time seems to drag on. 2021 will be here before you know it. I don't see why you can't stick to your room in your parent's house (you have your own room?), on the computer or watching tv or reading or exercising, then spending more time outdoors (walking, taking transportation to parks). You need exercise to work out your tension & anxiety.
Don't base your future on a current bf at your age, unless you're engaged. BFs come and go, when you're young. Esp when you're separated by distance. Out of sight, out of mind. Imagine if you move to be near him, then you break up. You may be stuck there, not knowing anyone, no bf..
I'd try to stay w/the parents for a year. Make sure your parents are okay w/that. It interferes w/their privacy, too. Not just yours. Offer to pay rent, if you're not already. Fix a time deadline to be out. They may want you out sooner, so you need to know.
Has OP looked at graduate programs in RI?
Long range relationships are problematic on a good day.
OP's parents quite likely know what's going on.
OP should do a cost-benefits matrix and toss in all possibilities. She's a big girl now, plans to be called doctor so this is a good time to put her big-girl pants on and exercise some problem-solving skills. Or develop them.
Suck it up. Learn to appreciate your family members as individuals who could be gone tomorrow.
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