How did you decide where to settle down (relocate, climate, college)

[FindingZen]

I moved back home to Philadelphia for family although, as someone else suggested, family isn't necessarily defined by DNA. I left Dallas as my late wife's immediate family had no interest in continuing a relationship and Washington DC where we had lived previously was too expensive on my single income. By Northeastern standards, Philly is reasonably priced and easier to get around without a car. As a foot of snow has dropped outside as I write this, there are some definitely weather drawbacks...but my personal pros outweigh that.

I'm at the point in my life now where there would have to be a mind-blowing professional or romantic opportunity for me to leave the area. I wouldn't be opposed to somewhere that is sunny with milder winters...but I would need a strong support system there to make it happen.

[Black Picket Fence]

How did I decide where to settle down? I looked at a lot of places, found one that was beautiful, with an ideal climate, and that truly felt like Home, and moved there.

For a while, it was San Francisco, which was cool and gray and totally unlike the SoCal suburbs I grew up in. When I realized I had no hope of ever owning a home there, I moved to western Washington State, which is even cooler and grayer and wetter, and so beautiful I have days when I think, "Holy cow, I actually get to live here!" I've lived in Bellingham, then Seattle, and I'm currently getting ready to leave Seattle, but I'm staying in this region.

The only other places I've felt like I could be truly at home are coastal Maine and the Willamette Valley in Oregon (especially around Canby). I've seen all kinds of places in the US that were really appealing, and where I could probably be happy, but why would I go there when I can live here?

My family is still in SoCal, and while I love them, I had no problem leaving them behind as soon as I turned 18, and still have no problem continuing to live at a distance. I'd get to see them more if I moved back down there, but I'd be back to feeling like an alien stranded on an inhospitable planet all the time. It's nice to go visit at this time of year, just to dry out a little and remember what sunlight is like, but after a few days I can't wait to get back to my real home.

[katharsis]

As this was for our "final move" (after planned retirement in 2020-2022), we were not concerned with job opportunities or schools. We were just looking to settle in a modestly affluent small town in a beautiful rural setting, but not more than an hour away from a fairly large town or city (but one that was not terribly "urban"). After eliminating New Hampshire, where we thought we would retire after spending many vacations there, but then finding nothing in our price range that met our requirements, we:

1. Made a list of all the four-seasons states in the Midwest and Northeast.

2. Eliminated those that were overwhelmingly liberal or conservative (definition: went for HRC or Trump in 2016 with more than 55% of the vote), those that we had a poor opinion of through previous personal experience, or those states that were too "flat" or uninteresting to us.

3. After exhaustive online research of small towns in the remaining states on our list of possibilities that seemed to fit our requirements and probably a half-dozen spreadsheets to compare, we narrowed it down to Door County, WI or Galena, IL.

4. We visited both Door County and Galena in 2017, and Door County was the undisputed winner. (Not even close!!)

We have now been living in our beautiful new home for six months and could NOT be happier! (Btw, Door County is called the Cape Cod of the Midwest.)

P.S. AFTER the fact, I took one of those online 'Which state fits you best?' quizzes, and -- surprise -- the winner for me was . . . Wisconsin!

[2peaches2oranges]

I recently moved for economic reasons. I had to find a city where I could increase my income and pay the least amount of living expenses (housing, gas, food) that also allows me to still contribute to retirement & emergency fund savings and still be able to afford some future travel.

[Sprawling_Homeowner]

Great thread, great answers.

For me, the issue of settling down was never a priority the way graduating college and getting a job/career were. I always assumed I'd be in the New York City tri-state area as that is where I spent most of my formative years, and after graduating college, I came back home to mom and dad as I didn't have a job lined up. I eventually got one, but it was very low-paying, so staying with them helped me save up a bit - wouldn't have had much left at the end of the month if I were renting an apartment.

Fast forward a few years, and dramatic and drastic changes had taken place. I'm living alone in the NYC tri-state, at another job and scrimping away trying to do the "adulting" thing (this is a slang which didn't exist at the time). Again, being anywhere else other than the NYC tri-state never entered my mind, as that's where I was from.

Today however things have changed. I'm a lot more well-traveled than I was, and while there are still many places in the United States which I haven't visited yet, I'm seriously considering a relocation to another state in the near future. It's something I've been debating literally for years, but doors may be opening at last. I wouldn't rule out leaving that state when my kids have left the nest, but that's for later.

If I do make this move to the state I have in mind, it'll be primarily due to flexibility with work, a lower cost of living, warmer weather, a more conservative culture, and lower real estate prices. I will have to build a support system from scratch, but that's something all of us have had to do at one point or another.

[ddm2k]

Originally Posted by JBRJB2006

Just curious as to how you decided where to settle down. Dh has a work from home job so he can live just about anywhere. While he desperately wants to move to the beautiful NC or WV I would like to move somewhere near family. I am so torn--I love the thought of living East but the thought of not having family within 1 hour of us is terrifying.

Eastern WV is becoming DC metro (with prices to match) and tell DH that NC is full

Only half kidding. NC major metros are just growing too fast to be a "final destination" to settle down.

NC mountains (save for Asheville, which is pricey and busy) are great, the coast isn't too terribly crowded in some places (small fishing towns on Outer Banks, southern beaches such as Sunset, Holden, Oak Island, Southport offer more but still aren't too big).

I don't know if this matters, but once you cross from VA into NC and below it because increasingly hard (and I mean 10x more difficult as a conservative estimate) to find a house with a basement! NC/SC/GA with the exception of beach areas typically have crawlspaces. FL homes in my experience tend to be built on slab more than anything else.

[StealthRabbit]

How did you decide where to settle down

Weighted spreadsheet
Comprehensive study
In depth survey trips to a wide variety of options

Primary drivers:
1) Be as FAR from family as possible (and still am 40 yrs later) - personal safety issue as a parent had told us they put a contract on our lives and would certainly 'GET/ maim) our kids.. Poof, gone.
2) J-O-B (long before WFH or internet)
3) Tax Free income (no state income tax, no state sales tax 5 minutes across a bridge)
4) New place to explore, and it was GREEN yr round vs BROWN and dusty.
5) Much hirer wages in destination ~ 2x at the time we moved
6) Upward mobile opportunities (Housing, education, career, recreation, fine arts, environment)
7) Access to other countries (near borders and international airport) we ended up living internationally many yrs while kids were age 5 -12. Further from family!!! a very good thing. (for us).
8) Mtns (year round skiing) and ocean all within 1 h radius of home.
9) WATER. state we departed was parched and very strict water use. (and worse)
10) Great place for WTSHTF (year round gardening, easy to hide out (lots of brambles), No need for AC in summer, Grow our own forest for free firewood. Make furniture from forest, can make our own fuel for cars and trucks.. (In case we need to)

A MUCH better place (all-in-all), so we keep (3) places in USA and planning to add some overseas (for future Healthcare needs, or in case of a never ending pandemic in USA... Unfortunately, that is very possible )

[chiluvr1228]

My family moved us from NYC down to SW Florida in the 1960's and I never liked Florida. When I was 21, I moved to Long Island and loved it there. I felt like I was home every time I would fly back from visiting family and see the State of Liberty. But then I got married and had a baby and realized I couldn't afford to ever buy a house there and pay the taxes so we came back here in 1985 and bought a house. Still hated it.

Left in 1990 for my husband's job in eastern NC, hated that too. Too many uneducated people where we were and the taxes there were worse than Florida so we came back here in 1999. Wish I hadn't. Hate it here more and more each year but when you're older and don't have the finances to keep moving you stay put. I hate our long and humid summers. I hate having the a/c on at Thanksgiving and while putting up the Christmas tree. I am loving the cold spell we are having right now. Probably the coldest January and early February I can remember and I love it. Tells me I need to get the hell out of here.

My oldest is moving to Colorado and I'm seriously considering getting out of here and moving somewhere near him (but not too close). Since moving back here my husband and mother have both passed away so there's not much keeping me here anymore except a sister, a niece and my granddaughter (who might come with me). Life is too short to hate where you are living.

I'm going to check with a realtor to see how much my house is worth to see if I can even make a move at this time.

[Lodestar]

We wanted the kids to be close to their grandparents and we loved the neighborly culture we both grew up in.

[gentlearts]

I am old, and I moved away from my family when I got married. In the end, I wish I had been closer and had spent more time with family. Now, even my own children are spread far and wide.

If I had a do over I would like to be near my family. Most of them are gone now.

In the place I lived last, many of the folks had gone to the same schools as their parents had, and the grandchildren did too. Everyone knew everyone, and it was nice. They weren’t country bumpkins, they were prosperous and well travelled.

Anyway, our last move was to the south, and we are retired. Our youngest son lived here then, but now lives 4 hours away, we will be here until one of us dies or until we can’t take of the yard anymore.