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Old 04-19-2021, 07:28 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
56,967 posts, read 45,325,719 times
Reputation: 81126

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We threw away tons of everything when both sets of our parents died, so I do know I can throw stuff away. My issue I think is with the fact that none of my kids lives close by so I can't have them come over and go through stuff and chuck the rest. For instance, my daughter lives in Germany and has lived all over the world, so I have her wedding dress in a big plastic bin -I actually hate carrying it around but I can understand why I'm doing it and not her. Another son lives in Guam. Another lives in Austin which is a six hour drive from me. So I just keep hauling this stuff around and I am so tired of it.

Also, like I said, both sets of our parents died over the past five years so we've gone through tons of stuff. Both our parents were the type to keep everything and so consequently I've gotten rid of TONS of stuff, but now I think I understand why they kept things like report cards - it doesn't mean that much to their kids but I think it means something to them - it does to me. Anyway, UGH.

I am hating all this.

Until my husband died, I was "the hostess" for all big get togethers, plus we entertained and cooked or grilled or both a lot. So I have all sorts of items for all that - stuff I'll never use again. Like for instance, a big roasting pan. OK. Maybe I'll use it some day and it's in great shape since it's only been used a few times, but DANG IT.
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Old 04-19-2021, 07:50 AM
Status: "...so tired..." (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: Europe
3,430 posts, read 1,904,058 times
Reputation: 4231
www.Estatesales.net to view houses with things for sale like dinnerware, flatware etc.

See listing roasting pan here https://www.estatesales.net/search/roasting%20pan

dinnerware https://www.estatesales.net/search/dinnerware

flatware https://www.estatesales.net/search/flatware

ladies clothes https://www.estatesales.net/search/ladies%20clothes

On youtube is video consignment shop owner says kids grandkids do not want any of these things for their modern minimalist homes with items of their own choice/taste.
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Old 04-19-2021, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Venus
5,635 posts, read 4,051,064 times
Reputation: 10019
I have mentioned about my continuing saga on here multiple times. It started when we moved into this house 7 years ago. When most people our age downsizes, we upsized-in terms of house. We used to have a business of buying junk and selling antiques. The buying part was really easy. The selling part, not so much. The house started to get overrun with inventory. It was starting to look like a hoarder's house. Most NORMAL people would have purged before moving. Nope. Not us. We only moved around the corner so it wasn't that far. Most of our inventory ended up in the garage.

Since moving here, we pretty much lost our venues in terms of selling (eBay & a booth at an antique mall)-they weren't selling anyway. The only way I have been able to move stuff is via yard sales. I try to have at least one a year (but didn't last year). When we first moved in, you couldn't get into the garage. Now, you can walk to the back wall with no problem.

We still have some inventory left but now I'm trying to work on my own stuff. Yeah, I am a packrat and I have saved just about every card and letter I have ever received. I know I need to go through that and start purging. I also have been buying new clothes in the last few years. When I moved, I did go through my clothes and got rid of four garbage bags full. Now, I am thinking that I should go through them again. I also bought a bunch of new stuff for the house-blankets/sheets/towels, etc. Now, I working on dishes. I just purged a whole bunch of plasticware that I had. But, I'm looking for new stuff to replace it-not saying we need it. I have been putting things in boxes on the front lawn with a sign that says "Free." Most of it goes. Looking forward to my annual yard sale in Sept.

I wish that I could let go of things-things that I know I don't need. But, I am pretty much a historian at heart. These things were part of my history. How could I part with it? It is something that I am working on.


Cat
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Old 04-19-2021, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
28,565 posts, read 18,999,284 times
Reputation: 44956
I don’t have an answer but I know I have saved too much stuff, and I need to shed a lot of stuff. I am not a pack rat, but I allow things to accumulate, or I save things for too long.
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Old 04-19-2021, 03:17 PM
 
31,193 posts, read 37,459,639 times
Reputation: 42548
Quote:
Originally Posted by davebarnes View Post
I kept exactly 1 item from my parents’ house—an 8-inch diameter globe of countries as they were in 1929.
Nothing else. Not a single photo.

I am a chucker. It is easy for me.

My wife tends to hang onto more stuff, but even then our paper filing cabinet is less than 1 drawer.
Wow. That actually sounds a little bit dysfunctional LOL. Do you have any siblings?
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Old 04-19-2021, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Berkeley, Denver, CO USA
15,941 posts, read 23,988,171 times
Reputation: 27519
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
Do you have any siblings?
Yes.
My brother took:
1. The almost new battery backup system for the house because he lives in the middle of nowhere NH.
2. Our father's watch. Cheap watch, but my brother is very cheap.
3. Our father's rings (wedding, college) which will rot in a drawer until he dies without heirs.
4. Our father's fleece jacket. Did I mention that my brother is cheap?
5. The almost new car which our father purchased at age 94.
6. The 8+ year old iMac.

P.S. My brother's net worth is higher than mine.
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Old 04-19-2021, 04:46 PM
 
3,712 posts, read 5,790,279 times
Reputation: 6006
Always a balance right? I used to save lots of things as well. Generally a sentimental person. And, until I was about 30, every time I moved, the placed got a little bit bigger. College dorm to college apartment. College apartment to solo studio apartment. Studio apartment to a 1 bedroom apartment. 1 bedroom apartment to a 2 bedroom apartment (with a partner). 2 bedroom apartment to a 5 bedroom home. As you can see - no real driver for cutting back.

However, when I moved to Dallas, I had made a conscious choice to downsize. I missed city living and apartments and smalelr spaces. I thought I wanted that bigger house in the burbs..and well, I didn't. But man, we had filled that house over the years! 5 bedrooms to an urban studio. I had to go through about 3 rounds before I actually got to the point where I knew it would fit in the studio. It was definitely a bit scary doing that at the time. But, wow! It felt awesome once I finally got moved in here. I loved the smaller place and having fewer things and vowed that my next house purchase would be significantly smaller. And, well, you've seen how that went

Only you know what is too much or too little, but I don't think you can go wrong. I do recommend however thinking of the process like filtration: start with a fishing net. Get rid of the obvious stuff. Then move on to a colander. Then move onto a fine mesh strainer. I find that I am much more productive doing it in 'rounds' than feeling overwhelmed about making the right decision in one shot.
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Old 04-19-2021, 08:34 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
28,565 posts, read 18,999,284 times
Reputation: 44956
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunbather View Post
Always a balance right? I used to save lots of things as well. Generally a sentimental person. And, until I was about 30, every time I moved, the placed got a little bit bigger. College dorm to college apartment. College apartment to solo studio apartment. Studio apartment to a 1 bedroom apartment. 1 bedroom apartment to a 2 bedroom apartment (with a partner). 2 bedroom apartment to a 5 bedroom home. As you can see - no real driver for cutting back.

However, when I moved to Dallas, I had made a conscious choice to downsize. I missed city living and apartments and smalelr spaces. I thought I wanted that bigger house in the burbs..and well, I didn't. But man, we had filled that house over the years! 5 bedrooms to an urban studio. I had to go through about 3 rounds before I actually got to the point where I knew it would fit in the studio. It was definitely a bit scary doing that at the time. But, wow! It felt awesome once I finally got moved in here. I loved the smaller place and having fewer things and vowed that my next house purchase would be significantly smaller. And, well, you've seen how that went

Only you know what is too much or too little, but I don't think you can go wrong. I do recommend however thinking of the process like filtration: start with a fishing net. Get rid of the obvious stuff. Then move on to a colander. Then move onto a fine mesh strainer. I find that I am much more productive doing it in 'rounds' than feeling overwhelmed about making the right decision in one shot.
Good way to think about it!
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Old 04-19-2021, 09:15 PM
 
3,062 posts, read 1,209,466 times
Reputation: 6826
We moved five times in sixteen years. Our sixth move lasted for fifteen years. Those fifteen years were the years our kids went from grammar school until adulthood. My attic was filled with toys, children's clothing and hardly used stuff.

We put our attic/basement into a storage unit. It allowed us to see what was necessary and what wasn't. It was so much easier to donate items from the unit than from our house. It took us three years to downsize.

We finally moved into a rental townhouse. We will be moving into our new house early next year. It didn't seem to make sense to unpack our stuff so it's in another storage unit in our new location. I finally found the potato masher and the mixer from a box. I still can't find my electric coffee pot. I am making do with what I have.

I'm a visual person so not seeing my possessions is hard. This stuff contains so many memories. I miss my art work - mostly painted by long dead relatives. I really miss my Christmas ornament collection. I kept my photos and old cards. It doesn't matter if my children don't what any of this. It matters to me as these things mark my life's journey.

At the end of her life, my mother purchased glassware and trinkets. Shopping was her hobby. It gave her a reason to leave her house and do a little exercise. My sister and I packed up her house when she went into assisted living. Too much clutter and dust. I can't really blame her. It's actually sad.
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Old 04-19-2021, 10:34 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,811 posts, read 27,100,935 times
Reputation: 38094
I'm so sorry about your husband. I didn't know.

I've moved a lot and I know what it's like one week before moving.

Here's what I suggest: Just pay someone to move it all to your new place, and deal with it later.

It's too soon from your hubby dying and you've been through so much the last several years. You don't have to figure this out right now.

Just move it all and make all the decisions later about what to keep or not. If that means paying for a storage unit or a pod or whatever, I really think that's what you should do.

And to heck with the person who supposedly only moved with 2 suitcases. You don't really know her full story. Maybe she's cold-hearted. Maybe she's had many more years than you to figure it out. But, comparing yourself to anyone else isn't relevant. It's okay to just say you don't want to deal with this right now.

My heart goes out to you. You've been such a strong person for everyone else for a long time. I hope you can just be kind to yourself, as if you were a separate person from yourself who just needs a break.
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