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Keep in mind you will feel homesick! I moved to a different state and truly considered moving back. I'm glad I didn't as my new location is much better.
I've made friends here but it took a long time because I was resisting meeting people. I missed the people I used to hang out with and didn't have room in my life and heart for new ones.
I really went into a depression which was odd for me, I've never had it before. After six months things turned around. So don't move back even if you're feeling deep regret for moving. Be bold and make a new life. This is an exciting new challenge for you!
Just decide that you will move back home in a year if you want to change your mind. So think of it as a trial move. Don’t visit once a month. All you will do is put your life on hold between visits. Don’t visit until a major holiday or family birthday.
I graduated college at 20 and have been living with my parents for the last four years. I've maintained a full-time, professional job since graduating college. My social life is pretty non-existent, I haven't had a partner since my freshman year of college (back in 2014, haha). I barely have any friends, either.
I have a WFH job, and I decided it is time to move to a new state. After 25 years of living in the same midwestern suburb, my 25-year-old self needs some change. I plan to move to AZ, and I have a place already lined up.
The move is just a month away and I'm absolutely terrified. My anxiety about moving has drowned out all my excitement. I have the finances to fly home once per month to visit my family. I do have a few friends in AZ, but no family. I feel guilty about leaving home -- not being able to see my dogs or my sisters and parents on a daily. However, the last time I ventured to AZ on my own and spent time there, I felt free.
Is it reasonable to want to move away after living your first 25 years at home with your parents in the same house? I barely even moved out for college (I lived in a dorm for a year only 30 miles away). Any tips on how I can get over the anxiety/guilt?
It sounds as though you are fortunate in that you get along well with your parents and sisters. Keep in mind not all people have close relationships with their families, which may minimize anxiety and misgivings on moving away from them, and it may also justify the decision for some. There are all sorts of reasons and timelines related to young people moving out of the family home.
Since you already have a place lined up maybe you should go ahead and try it. There's no sin in trying, and there's no shame in easing the transition by periodically going home to see your family and your dog. As for guilt, if your sisters are still living with, or in proximity to your parents, they will all have each other and, in the meantime, will look forward to your visits. You most likely won't feel guilty for too long, as you find other ways to maintain your close relationship with them. The internet and iPhone/smart phone might enable you to communicate daily, even face to face.
Don't worry, either, if you decide that right now living on your own in Arizona isn't for you; you can always go back at another time or try living somewhere else later on. For that matter, you may decide to return to your parents' home and take it one day at a time. As long as they are okay with your being there - and you and they enjoy a good relationship, I just don't see a problem.
When I got out of college at the age of 22 after 4 years of living on campus and only going home for breaks, I lived with my parents for one year while I worked full time and saved money. I moved out at the age of 23 and shared a house with 2 other young adults. For me, having housemates was a good thing. We got along well and they became like a second family to me. We looked out for each other, hung out together and went out on the town together. It was a fun time of life.
If living alone seems a bit intimidating to you, maybe you could look into sharing a house with one or two other young professionals.
Come to think of it, I had a friend/roommate for a few years, too. Cut the cost of rent in half. But this was after I joined the Peace Corps and lived alone in Kenya for 2 years while teaching school there.
As a woman, in particular, it was nice to have roommates who would notice that I made it home after work or after a date. If I had to take my car to the shop, one of my roommates could give me a ride home while my car was being worked on. Simply being able to watch a movie or a football game on t.v. or play a card game with the others was nice, too.
You definitely have to be careful who you choose to rent a place with. But when you choose well it can work out really nicely.
Congratulations, OP, on your independence and the many adventures it will bring!
Of course, there will be apprehensions as you enter this new chapter in your life. It's normal. Leaving the familiar always is, but on the other hand, there are so many unknown opportunities that await you.
The best is yet to come.
I graduated college at 20 and have been living with my parents for the last four years. I've maintained a full-time, professional job since graduating college. My social life is pretty non-existent, I haven't had a partner since my freshman year of college (back in 2014, haha). I barely have any friends, either.
I have a WFH job, and I decided it is time to move to a new state. After 25 years of living in the same midwestern suburb, my 25-year-old self needs some change. I plan to move to AZ, and I have a place already lined up.
The move is just a month away and I'm absolutely terrified. My anxiety about moving has drowned out all my excitement. I have the finances to fly home once per month to visit my family. I do have a few friends in AZ, but no family. I feel guilty about leaving home -- not being able to see my dogs or my sisters and parents on a daily. However, the last time I ventured to AZ on my own and spent time there, I felt free.
Is it reasonable to want to move away after living your first 25 years at home with your parents in the same house? I barely even moved out for college (I lived in a dorm for a year only 30 miles away). Any tips on how I can get over the anxiety/guilt?
You are late getting out, and it sounds like you are dangerously close to being unhealthily attached to your parents. Good for you for recognizing it.
Your anxiety will only ease as you become accustomed to new surroundings, and you will gain self confidence, which is just as important a life lesson as your education was.
I don’t know what you are feeling guilty about. Do you think we parents sit around after the kids go to bed, and say, Gee, I hope our kids are so afraid to leave home that they’re still here when they’re 40?
I wouldn't get caught up on whether you should move, what people should think, what's right or wrong, etc.
What matters is how you will respond once you move. And by that, actually move, not just visit, not make it temporary, but really pick up and relocate. It's usually then that it will hit you the hardest. So you need to think in advance what that would be like. Leave out the rest, and focus hard on that. Ideally you want to put the brakes if moving will make things even worse.
I moved away from family and was already very independent, plus much older than you, even with my own family. BUT.... I hated the new location, which was so foreign to me (different state, different region of the country), while also missed my old location (my roots, etc.) There was a ton there without even factoring in my family (parents, sisters, brother, nieces, nephews, etc.) I started missing them all too. So it really built up.
Much of this doesn't involve thinking or reason or even logic. It's gut-level stuff, that often can't be fully described or explained. But I know in my gut what homesickness is. No one's going to tell me I'm right or wrong in experiencing that.
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